Jack Monroe #195 She basically writes fan-fiction about herself

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Another one with eleventy-hundred emails and no reply to the sender....
 
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Ooo Joani N!! Can you pop on a mask or some lapel badges so I can spot thee?!
 
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Can you go and have a look at the most beautiful railway bridge at Queensferry and then agree Jack is such a (not Billy) that she isn't allowed near it ever ? X
 
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The more I look at the tongue photo the more confused I get.

What does it mean?!
Well Orphy B, it means that despite taking no clothes on this trip and packing a bag full of camera tripods and assorted photography ephemera ol’Mackie didn’t bother to use the timer function, instead using an iPad operated by pressing on the screen with their tongue. We know this because Mackie was using the camera tripod and timer and equipment for candid “behind the scenes” pics of themself.
Then Fack accidentally uploaded the wrong one, Mary MARM was quick enough to snap it and needless to say, the cabal had the first, middle and last laugh
 
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Mate. Just take a photo of some celery. That’ll do
 
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I think I'd rather eat grass from the Chernobyl exclusion zone than that fish fillet, Poca. I've been reading and watching a lot of documentaries about Chernobyl and other nuclear disasters recently, it's my new personality trait and even the liquidators who scooped up shards of radioactive graphite with their bare hands would insist on full protective gear before going to Jack's for dinner.

Lest we forget the true extent of the cod defiling here is the original screenshot, thanks as ever to fastest hand in the west @Marmalade Atkins



She cooked a fish fillet for so long that she couldn't remember how long she cooked it for.
 
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Beef cheek - low and slow

fish fillet…. Not that. Dry as dust mate.
 
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