Jack Monroe #188 Jack sits on a train of lies

[colouredlines]

I thought they took it from the actual OG’s like the actual members of the Cripps from the 70’s/80s who really were gangsters in a gang

To be fair, a lot of the old school rappers were real gangsters too.

The rap beefs that followed the demise of NWA could be my very niche specialist subject on Mastermind. Diss rap is a lost artform.

ETA: Jack, if you ever want to rap battle, I will gladly doxx myself to do so. Loser has to eat your cooking!

 

[MaineCoonMama]

Freestyle cooking could be a new show. Snoop did a cooking show with Martha Stewart. Maybe Jack and her mate Stormzy is 72 years old could bring it into the 21st century?
Grime suits her.

 

[Cookiecookie]

Freestyle cooking could be a new show. Snoop did a cooking show with Martha Stewart. Maybe Jack and her mate Stormzy is 72 years old could bring it into the 21st century?
Grime suits her.

That show was so good! His recipe book looked great too, but it was like $50 or something silly, so I just couldn't do it.

 

[lilamay]

Food and mental health...maybe her dishes are actually an elaborate form of performance art to illustrate various mental health problems?

Linda McCartney sausage curry = depression
Recipes nicked from Slimming World = kleptomania
Pasta with mushrooms and white chocolate = multiple personality disorder

That reminds me - I noticed her latest Instagram follow is WW (Weight Watchers)

 

[HotesTilaire]

Freestyle cooking could be a new show. Snoop did a cooking show with Martha Stewart. Maybe Jack and her mate Stormzy is 72 years old could bring it into the 21st century?
Grime suits her.

Jack is to grime as Steve’s is to Kurupt FM

 

[Kitycat]

Did we all know her Twitter handle used to be Dr Jack Monroe?

This is objectively hilarious. Reminds me of the friends episodes where they’re in the hospital and Ross introduces himself as “Dr Ross Gellar” Rachel: “Ross please, this is a hospital. That actually means something here” at least he had worked for his phd though.

 

[Gordon78]

If we're including mandarins (they are a species of orange after all) in Jack's Orange Oeuvre, she's made some right crackers including:
-roman pasta with mandarins and a creamy basil sauce
-mandarin, beef and black bean stew
-red lentil and mandarin curry
-the 'I Hate Vegans' veg peeling Christmas nut roast

The mandarin pasta dish brought up a vague memory of her having a recipe for pasta with white chocolate as well which I was hoping was a fever dream but sadly it was real. The recipe has been removed from her blog but we can still enjoy this picture of a sad dry heap of spaghetti that looks like you could pick it up as one solid mass.

View attachment 565175

Here's the recipe (LJC forbid that this coolinary marvel be lost to humanity):

Do I want to know what's for dessert? Hell, no.

 

[lilamay]

Here's the recipe (LJC forbid that this coolinary marvel be lost to humanity):

View attachment 567291View attachment 567292
Do I want to know what's for dessert? Hell, no.

'Do you want to know what's for dessert?'

Well it could've been some white chocolate if you hadn't bunged it in the spaghetti!

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

So @okaylolbye did you get a Google alert on your own name or have you been lurking here since Jack failed to deliver the article “she could bash out in ten minutes”? I get why you’d be pissed that she didn’t fulfil her promise.

Knowing what you now know about Jack (we have the receipts of her lies about her background, and frequent bullying and gaslighting of dissenting voices... including when she disparagingly referred to us as “addicts”) are you less inclined to include her rehashed telling of her bullshit poverty cosplay in your publication?

I’m sorry you’re struggling financially. It might be wise to think about applying for disability living allowance if your condition is life-limiting to the extent you cannot leave the house. It would be a useful process to write about for the mag, too. For a lot of middle class people they’ve no experience whatsoever of the system. It might take some of the fear and stigma away to see it written about.

Behind so this may have been said but a google alert wouldn’t have captured us, especially not within half an hour. I doubt google would have indexed us that quickly either. Hattie was very much HERE with us the cheeky cow.

The more you think about it the muggier it gets!

 

[ChickenPorridge]

Decent grunk, love an unexpected butterfly visitor. I wonder how many of Jack's mates read here fervently? Seems like it might be quite a few! Bit of a reach to say that illness was being mocked. Not on this thread, hun. People are desperate to believe or pretend we are a bunch of awful folks, aren't they?

 

[waffle maker]

Funny how these people turn up when it's quiet. I wonder if the loo roll lady has ever been in a taxi.

 

[Cookiecookie]

Funny how these people turn up when it's quiet. I wonder if the loo roll lady has ever been in a taxi.

They like to try and sneak in and catch us unawares with their shocking reveals. Doesn't work though, between the day crew, night shift lot (work or baby), the insomniacs, and the upside down folk, we're pretty much on it 24/7

 

[Blurp]

Freestyle cooking could be a new show. Snoop did a cooking show with Martha Stewart. Maybe Jack and her mate Stormzy is 72 years old could bring it into the 21st century?
Grime suits her.

She could wear her stab vest to fit in with him.

 

[Captainmouse]

honestly, I bleeping love that we've had a jack-adjacent person right here and we were like

Cabal feathers are unruffleable

 

[colouredlines]

Here's the recipe (LJC forbid that this coolinary marvel be lost to humanity):

View attachment 567291View attachment 567292
Do I want to know what's for dessert? Hell, no.

THANKYOU! This is the most quintessentially Jack recipe ever. It's like a greatest hits:

* vile combination of ingredients
* simmered pasta
* grated mushroom dust
* microwaved garlic
* greedy goblin scoffing it all
* unnecessary wordiness (the mushroom pounding paragraph)

Also, 40 min at 180 does not dry vegetables, it...cooks them! Every other veg-drying recipe I've seen involves very low heat and NO CHOCOLATE.

 

[Captainmouse]

Freestyle cooking could be a new show. Snoop did a cooking show with Martha Stewart. Maybe Jack and her mate Stormzy is 72 years old could bring it into the 21st century?
Grime suits her.

Surely grime(Y) is her middle name?

 

[Saint_clemmie]

THANKYOU! This is the most quintessentially Jack recipe ever. It's like a greatest hits:

* vile combination of ingredients
* simmered pasta
* grated mushroom dust
* microwaved garlic
* greedy goblin scoffing it all
* unnecessary wordiness (the mushroom pounding paragraph)

Also, 40 min at 180 does not dry vegetables, it...cooks them! Every other veg-drying recipe I've seen involves very low heat and NO CHOCOLATE.

Who would you cook mushrooms for 40 mins in the oven and then microwave your garlic? Make it make sense! Ignoring the white choc because I can’t think about that combination this early in the morning.

 

[Captainmouse]

That reminds me - I noticed her latest Instagram follow is WW (Weight Watchers)

Maybe she’s planning to 'borrow' some more recipes?

 

[colouredlines]

THANKYOU! This is the most quintessentially Jack recipe ever. It's like a greatest hits:

* vile combination of ingredients
* simmered pasta
* grated mushroom dust
* microwaved garlic
* greedy goblin scoffing it all
* unnecessary wordiness (the mushroom pounding paragraph)

Also, 40 min at 180 does not dry vegetables, it...cooks them! Every other veg-drying recipe I've seen involves very low heat and NO CHOCOLATE.

Quoting myself like a maverick because I forgot the other great Jack element: LIES. Apparently she used to cook an elaborate lobster Valentine's dinner pre-poverty...but as we know from elsewhere, she learned to cook by reading Lloyd Grossman labels while poor. Classic Jack 🤍

 

[Captainmouse]

Decent grunk, love an unexpected butterfly visitor. I wonder how many of Jack's mates read here fervently? Seems like it might be quite a few! Bit of a reach to say that illness was being mocked. Not on this thread, hun. People are desperate to believe or pretend we are a bunch of awful folks, aren't they?

Only because mackie has told them so