Jack Monroe #182 Extraneous brine

[Orphan_Black]

I’m sure Allegra had a cleaner though. She’s very rich and trained in a kitchen so knows about cleanliness.

Allegra also knows how to cook and loves doing it, it makes sense to have everything she needs to hand.

Jack's is just a state. A dirty one too. That isn't even depression grime where you haven't the motivation to clean, this is just pure laziness mixed with greedy hoarding. Jack hasn't an ounce of imagination about her, it's copy and mimic.

 

[LeftToMyOwnDevices]

View attachment 539278

Seriously, clown make up!!! The eye liner attempt is making me hoot!

Those teeth are scary!

Reminds me of Jaws from James Bond

 

[MancBee]

Here's the fireplace:

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That is not an eclectic collection it is a pile of junk. It doesn't look cosy or curated, carefully considered, or homely. I can't help thinking how on God's green earth could you keep that place clean.
simple answer, she didn't

 

[kachoochoo]

the fireplace pics are like looking at where's wally or brambly hedge. you really have to have a good look to take everything in

pictures of herself, walking sticks, candles in booze bottles, what look like placards, a "mummy" card in the fanmail, precarious towers of books... it's got it all!

 

[Captainmouse]

Grease makes excellent glue.

Maybe it was the horse specialty?

 

[Veronicaaa]

LOL this is funny re. Jack's proposed outfit ....

..... especially when you read the poster's bio ....

 

[MancBee]

Can someone spoiler this before @MancBee sees that catastrophic corner of hell fetch the smelling salts!

Too bloody late, I've seen it.

Seriously, I may appear to be a bit over the top about keeping things tidy and clean, but I'm not really. I do understand that when you have kids it's different. But Jack just takes clutter, hoarding and dirty to another level.

There were seven of us as kids in a three bed house, and it was never as dirty or untidy as the state of that. My mum (or dad for that matter) wouldn't allow it to get to that state.

 

[Orphan_Black]

We know Jack reads here (Hi Jack!) and as hilarious as it would be for her to go clown school cool to whatever function she's baiting about, I just can't let the squiggs do it to you, Jack. Don't set yourself up for more piss taking because all those outfits will look terrible.

 

[Imainlylurk]

For the Drag Race fans among us, I’m getting big “category is - Allegra’s kitchen couture” energy from those pictures.

Yes and it would be a sashay away moment.
I am one of the few here who quite liked Allegra's cluttered kitchen but there's an art to clutter (okay, and having loads of money and space helps. People with less money are often tidier for this reason, I find). The pictures of Jack's kitchen/s are just a bit stressful and grimy.

 

[Veronicaaa]

We know Jack reads here (Hi Jack!) and as hilarious as it would be for her to go clown school cool to whatever function she's baiting about, I just can't let the squiggs do it to you, Jack. Don't set yourself up for more piss taking because all those outfits will look terrible.

But what's to say her alternate outfits would be any better

 

[Eurgh]

I hope someone's watering all those plants Jack splurged out on IMMEDIATELY BEFORE she went gallivanting.

Same person who is feeding Cooper and that poor rabbit.

 

[Orphan_Black]

But what's to say her alternate outfits would be any better

I know Jack constantly astounds us by always going one worse, but, I dunno if she can get worse with an alternative outfit. A potato sack would look better!

 

[Carmina-Piranha]

Looks like a junk shop! Old man steptoe would be right at home

 

[kachoochoo]

all her outfits look terrible.

ftfy too short ftfy

 

[Cookiecookie]

Oh gods, those kitchen pictures get worse with every one

 

[LeftToMyOwnDevices]

I can't understand why Jack has not been nominated for such a prestigious award? She has given us crisp sandwiches for bad days, mayo collabs, and the infamous upside down pineapple chicken with a vegan version (sort of). Why have the judging board not seen this wild maverick redefining what edible means?! Absolute injustice.

Spoiler: Matt Chat

Can't lie, I think Matt is yummy. The cabal is my safe space now, I can admit it!!!

Spoiler: Matt Chat

Completely agree, I definitely would!

Edit: First spoiler successfully spoiled

 

[Orphan_Black]

ftfy too short ftfy

She tries too hard, she can sometimes look lovely, but she's goes waaaay OTT with her looks nowadays.

 

[Veronicaaa]

having loads of money and space helps. People with less money are often tidier for this reason, I find).

This is so true and it's just another aspect of Jack cosplaying poverty tbh. We already know that she thinks poor people are smelly ("the stench of poverty", describing suppurating wounds and all that) - but all it really shows is that she has absolutely no idea how the working poor live.

 

[Mr Krabs]

Oh tit, I've just realised exactly what Jack's house reminds me of. One of those hidden object mobile games.

The countdown is on! Can you find the following before the clock runs out? Ridiculously expensive DMs, handbag, at least one of Jack's own books, expensive jars from John Lewis, award trophy.

Play Jack's House on the iPhone today and help Jack earn enough coins for her forever home.

 

[bladiesla]

I rolled my eyes the same way I rolled them when someone at my old work kept leaving satsuma peels ON the bin in penis shapes.

My satsuma peel always come out like a cock and balls (or elephant with ears and trunk), but I do put them in the bin