Jack Monroe #18 From giving THAT MAN hell to a Hellman's collab, “Baby Nigella’s” food is still making us gag.

[PennyLoafer]

It doesn't matter how cheeky-chirpy she is or how much she grins, she still comes across like she's about to offer you outside for a fight. I get a seriously aggro vibe from her. It's in the eyes.

Because I'm in a petty mood, that looks like a mole rat on her head.

 

[Nottonightbabe]

Covered in a watery bechamel

Absolutely x

Omg! Going to go and buy a normal toothpaste ASAP!

Can we make bets on what she will cook tonight? I think it’ll be some variation on that potato salad she posted about before, probably all made in the microwave somehow

I'm going to go for a leftover mash recipe. Seeing as she has a duck ton of it that she made the other day when her fridge broke.

 

[emm]

Absolutely x


I'm going to go for a leftover mash recipe. Seeing as she has a duck ton of it that she made the other day when her fridge broke.

Covered in a few kinds of non vegan mayo I assume

 

[Silver Linings]

It doesn't matter how cheeky-chirpy she is or how much she grins, she still comes across like she's about to offer you outside for a fight. I get a seriously aggro vibe from her. It's in the eyes.

Because I'm in a petty mood, that looks like a mole rat on her head.

View attachment 138489

She’s on it.......

 

[Pocahontas]

Is she bidding adieu to the reversed rat’s tail? Sad times, sad times.

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

Omg! Going to go and buy a normal toothpaste ASAP!

Can we make bets on what she will cook tonight? I think it’ll be some variation on that potato salad she posted about before, probably all made in the microwave somehow

omg do, bless you I think they’re very cheeky for this! Obvs there’s fluoride in tap water, unless you’re fancy and brush with Evian, so you’re not utterly doomed but it’s not something you want to do long term.

I asked a sales assistant about it once I found out and she was really honest and suggested them being used in addition to or as a weekly thing, but the assistant who I originally chatted to about making the switch never did! I feel like it should be on their pre sales check list and tbh even mentioned at the till when you scan them! Although I will say my teeth were whiter than ever but I’m pretty sure that’s because the charcoal was abrasive as duck

 

[PennyLoafer]

She's not getting better at this. Ffs, if you can't talk for 30 seconds without looking off to the side at prompters, either work harder to memorise your script or don't bother.

"You know I love a challenge so chuck me, like, your pickled octopus or your carrots on the turn..."

PICKLED OCTOPUS?

https://www.instagram.com/p/CAniYdJF4pC/

 

[emm]

omg do, bless you I think they’re very cheeky for this! Obvs there’s fluoride in tap water, unless you’re fancy and brush with Evian, so you’re not utterly doomed but it’s not something you want to do long term.

I asked a sales assistant about it once I found out and she was really honest and suggested them being used in addition to or as a weekly thing, but the assistant who I originally chatted to about making the switch never did! I feel like it should be on their pre sales check list and tbh even mentioned at the till when you scan them! Although I will say my teeth were whiter than ever but I’m pretty sure that’s because the charcoal was abrasive as duck

Sadly I’m not fancy enough to brush with Evian good advice, thanks

She's not getting better at this. Ffs, if you can't talk for 30 seconds without looking off to the side at prompters, either work harder to memorise your script or don't bother.

"You know I love a challenge so chuck me, like, your pickled octopus or your carrots on the turn..."

PICKLED OCTOPUS?

https://www.instagram.com/p/CAniYdJF4pC/

is that even a thing?! As usual someone compliments her and she has to turn it into a wow is me story about spilling lunch on her top..

 

[Bellybutton lint]

She’s on it.......

View attachment 138495

Being around her would be hard work, seriously hard work. Imagine she is going to be seriously manic on her SHOW today.

 

[Harrybosch]

Omg! Going to go and buy a normal toothpaste ASAP!

Can we make bets on what she will cook tonight? I think it’ll be some variation on that potato salad she posted about before, probably all made in the microwave somehow

Can I recommend to anyone prone to cavities super-high fluoride toothpaste? You can get it prescribed by your dentist it's 5000 of whatever the units are rather than the usual 1450. It's not suitable for anyone suffering from stomach ulcers and you have to be very mindful about rinsing properly as swallowing fluoride is not good for you, but it's made the world of difference to me. Been using it for several years now and no more cavities at all. The trend of non-fluoride toothpastes is so shocking to me. Sadly often spewed by my fellow vegans.

More on topic, Jack's interaction with her mother (or more accurately her mother's interaction with her) make me feel so uncomfortable. We obviously don't know what's going on there, but it is odd that her mother comments on what is effectively her work social media. I have done some social media stuff for an organisation with HUGE reach and presented a video that ended up with more than a million views (I hasten to add that this wasn't because of me, but because of the organisation and them putting money behind it). None of my friends or family commented on it. They messaged me privately that they had seen it and were proud of me. It's so odd to have this personal stuff play out publicly. If I were Jack, I'd either ask my mother not to comment or I'd respond, because leaving it unanswered makes her look like a tit.

What is also strange is how few images on her insta are of food. Most food writers/chefs have ONLY food pics on their insta, maybe interspersed with the odd candid shot. Having followed her so closely since lockdown, it's abundantly clear that it's all about her, her personal drama, her mental health, her relationships, her hair, her ham sandwich, her sobriety, her eating vegan all the time her loving home schooling, her festival, her freezers and her jif lemon juice. It's NOT about good food.

 

[Bellybutton lint]

She's not getting better at this. Ffs, if you can't talk for 30 seconds without looking off to the side at prompters, either work harder to memorise your script or don't bother.

Isn't it something? Especially when you put on your bio does TV, one would think she would have honed her skills somewhat by now. It's going to be a tit shower of something else today.

*Puts popcorn and gin aside for her tattie pals*

 

[chocolate choux]

She’s on it.......

View attachment 138495

She’s so busy that she’s not busy?
Elevenerife has reached new levels

Also re: Jack’s mum, can we start a campaign to get her a honorary blue tick so her daughter acknowledges her? Her food looks very nice

 

[Bellybutton lint]

Why is she dying her chrome dome so soon after the last hair dye a week ago? Gosh, I hope that dye doesn't burn her scalp or her mayo shed show might be delayed, or EVEN cancelled. Snork.

 

[Betty Neumar]

I’ve just popped some sliced swede in the fridge as I obviously made a massive mistake in taking strawberries out with me for an afternoon sunbathe snack yesterday. Maybe if I’m feeling fancy or inspired, I’ll drain some beans and knock up a quick dip with this (which I’m never purchasing again):

 

[Deej]

Clippers? Fancy! Thought she only had a beard trimmer

 

[Bellybutton lint]

Can we make bets on what she will cook tonight? I think it’ll be some variation on that potato salad she posted about before, probably all made in the microwave somehow

Swede and mashed potato with lashings of butter, tinned mandarins with a mayo water sauce is my bet.

Or bananas with ham and a mayo mustard sauce.

Seconds anyone?

Mayo stew with kidney beans and all kinds of crud bunged in, perhaps?

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

Can I recommend to anyone prone to cavities super-high fluoride toothpaste? You can get it prescribed by your dentist it's 5000 of whatever the units are rather than the usual 1450. It's not suitable for anyone suffering from stomach ulcers and you have to be very mindful about rinsing properly as swallowing fluoride is not good for you, but it's made the world of difference to me. Been using it for several years now and no more cavities at all. The trend of non-fluoride toothpastes is so shocking to me. Sadly often spewed by my fellow vegans.

More on topic, Jack's interaction with her mother (or more accurately her mother's interaction with her) make me feel so uncomfortable. We obviously don't know what's going on there, but it is odd that her mother comments on what is effectively her work social media. I have done some social media stuff for an organisation with HUGE reach and presented a video that ended up with more than a million views (I hasten to add that this wasn't because of me, but because of the organisation and them putting money behind it). None of my friends or family commented on it. They messaged me privately that they had seen it and were proud of me. It's so odd to have this personal stuff play out publicly. If I were Jack, I'd either ask my mother not to comment or I'd respond, because leaving it unanswered makes her look like a tit.

What is also strange is how few images on her insta are of food. Most food writers/chefs have ONLY food pics on their insta, maybe interspersed with the odd candid shot. Having followed her so closely since lockdown, it's abundantly clear that it's all about her, her personal drama, her mental health, her relationships, her hair, her ham sandwich, her sobriety, her eating vegan all the time her loving home schooling, her festival, her freezers and her jif lemon juice. It's NOT about good food.

I agree so much on this - I’ve always worked in digital & media and I find the comments really odd, I would have blocked her time ago - sorry that’s savage it’s just not the done thing at all? The time that stuck out as really odd was when JM was saying how happy she was over a big achievement as she’s never felt accepted professionally which she’s well within her rights to say, and her mum is underneath like oh you’re always accepted here?! Like this isn’t about you or ur house piss off mumsy let me glow for a second?

Agree on her socials too, they’re a mess and I’d guess she’s lost a lot of followers interested in her actual product from the weird tit she puts out (it’s why I initially unfollowed years ago). She should ask a freelance social media manager to do a comprehensive audit and make some recommendations and start following them cos it’ll lead to more cash in the bank and Smegs in the living room at the end of the day

Like everyone has an online brand these days which I appreciate sounds wanky af but it’s true, especially if you’re a digital professional or like her an influencer / freelance creative? I don’t/can’t have public socials because of my Ed so I’ve built out a safe space on my own domain with my portfolio so I can’t get @ed tit or drawn into online beefs for potential employers to see alongside my thoughts on logarithmic scales and covid data and I’m just a teeny tiny PAYE minion so why someone self employed would be risking work for Twitter drama is utterly beyond me!!

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

Being around her would be hard work, seriously hard work. Imagine she is going to be seriously manic on her SHOW today.

The term SHOW for an Instagram live always makes me laugh

 

[Saturn.]

She’s on it.......

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Oh no, I hope it wasn't due to anything said on here. See you at

 

[emm]

The term SHOW for an Instagram live always makes me laugh

Yeh I don’t get why she doesn’t just do YouTube, I imagine her connection issues won’t be better from a shed? Although I guess with,rs j not hogging the net maybe it’ll be fine?