Jack Monroe #18 From giving THAT MAN hell to a Hellman's collab, “Baby Nigella’s” food is still making us gag.

[Flumps]

If @Flumps doesn't do a wedding-Court date combo I’m going to be having a VERY bad head day and may or may not fall under a train by accident while tweeting about how I’m apoplectic with incandescent rage! I’m all about rinsed bean bridesmaid dresses, and the men can wear tinned peach button holes to keep in theme. Instead of confetti (hello, environment!), grated Spam will be sprinkled liberally as you walk out of the dock/aisle. You will walk out to Love is Law by Earth Wind and Fire, as Jack sobs on new Mrs J #5’s shoulder about bleeping up her 100% success rate. I rest my case <bangs gavel>

Well this is going to be a LONG conversation with MrF (I have that nomenclature right, yes?)

 

[Hunty]

Crikey is there any job this woman HASN'T done, I know we have a list of the jobs she has or has supposedly done , but I think the list would be shorter if we do a list of jobs Jack hasn't done...

 

[Thank(space)you]

Christ, look at all that mayo in the background. It speaks volumes to me about Jack's lack of integrity that she'll take a fee to promote such a prolific user of eggs as Hellman's. Chickens have their beaks trimmed without anaesthetic to stop them pecking each other to death; free range is worth very little because natural pecking order and overcrowding means that most of the birds never make it outside of the barn; male chicks are routinely disposed of in horrific ways because they're useless to the egg trade.

I buy soil association eggs (they ban beak trimming), and eggs from a very small farm locally as I know they don't trim the beaks of their birds but it still doesn't address the other problems, and I do feel guilty whenever I think about it. If I was someone who had published a book of mainly vegan recipes and quite vocally advocated against animal cruelty (including making my small child buy his own sausages....) I'd be ashamed to align myself with such a brand.

But it doesn't matter to Jack. It's just another trip to Penhaligons.

I never knew that about eggs! Thank you for sharing, I'm not veggie or vegan but I am trying to reduce the amount of animal products I consume. If I do buy animal products, I'd like to at least buy them the most ethical way I can (hope I'm making sense!)

 

[lola_90]

iPhone 11 sounds a bit fancy.

It will be rented, just like her crappy bungalow.

 

[Pocahontas]

This may be come across as mean, but it’s been bugging me for a while who she reminds me of ... and it’s dawned on me today.
One of my favourite books from childhood is called Snugglepot and Cuddlepie, about a couple of gumnut babies (it’s Australian) and the baddies are the banksia men. She kind of reminds me of a banksia man... it’s the eyes

 

[Ellabella]

I know I keep going on about it, but her outright denial of using a facetune/beauty app just makes me so angry. If people ask, just go 'haha, busted!" but it just makes me think she's so untrustworthy and makes up so much tit.

 

[HarderFaster]

I never knew that about eggs! Thank you for sharing, I'm not veggie or vegan but I am trying to reduce the amount of animal products I consume. If I do buy animal products, I'd like to at least buy them the most ethical way I can (hope I'm making sense!)

Yes, that makes total sense - sorry for sharing the depressing news! I try to buy meat from a local butcher as I know the farms he uses, and same with eggs, and I'd say I eat veggie 60-70% of my meals. But, as Jack supposedly understands, shopping ethically and locally isn't always an option for people who don't live in suburbs full of lecturers and doctors.

I was vegan for a couple of years but (I've mentioned this on a couple of posts so sorry if I'm a broken record) I'm a weightlifter with a history of seriously disordered eating and it was so hard to reach my performance goals within my food preferences that I just gave in. It wasn't a decision without guilt but consumer pressure is such that I think if lots of us want to shop with better welfare in mind then it'll turn the tide.

 

[Nottonightbabe]

I know this is going back a few pages but I’m so confused by this- I never thought of May as a swede type of month (who would? ) but a quick google shows that may is literally the lowest month for swedes?

And why wait 20 days to retweet the article, when she’s on Twitter all the time, it makes no sense!

Swede is an Autumn/winter veg definitely not in season now. Any British swede around now has likely been in cold store. Now is British asparagus season, really short season that it is, ends in June. Plus spring cabbages, salad veg, broad beans, courgettes etc. These are the lovely green months
She's clueless.

 

[Cheese_face]

Crikey is there any job this woman HASN'T done, I know we have a list of the jobs she has or has supposedly done , but I think the list would be shorter if we do a list of jobs Jack hasn't done...

I’ll start the list of jobs she hasn’t done:
• trained chef

 

[Harrybosch]

Swede is an Autumn/winter veg definitely not in season now. Any British swede around now has likely been in cold store. Now is British asparagus season, really short season that it is, ends in June. Plus spring cabbages, salad veg, broad beans, courgettes etc. These are the lovely green months
She's clueless.

Green months is a good description. My veg box is full of asparagus, spring greens, salad leaves, fresh herbs, flat beans and pea shoots. I love it after all the root veg. I'm going through tons of (fresh) lemons, as bright flavours are all I want at this time of year.

Swede is an Autumn/winter veg definitely not in season now. Any British swede around now has likely been in cold store. Now is British asparagus season, really short season that it is, ends in June. Plus spring cabbages, salad veg, broad beans, courgettes etc. These are the lovely green months
She's clueless.

Green months is a good description. My veg box is full of asparagus, spring greens, salad leaves, fresh herbs, flat beans and pea shoots. I love it after all the root veg. I'm going through tons of (fresh) lemons, as bright flavours are all I want at this time of year.

 

[PoorPatrol]

I know I keep going on about it, but her outright denial of using a facetune/beauty app just makes me so angry. If people ask, just go 'haha, busted!" but it just makes me think she's so untrustworthy and makes up so much tit.

Exactly. I also have an iPhone 11 because I’m fancy and disgusting. It doesn’t do that. It literally does not do that. If anything it focuses more and is clearer than any other phone I’ve had. It doesn’t make you look like a grandma in Mark Corrigan’s fairy porn. That’s a reference to Peep Show, BTW.

 

[MrsOgre]

I've been thinking, are we all going to tune in to this shitshow Hellmans show tomorrow? Is it only on instagram, I've just been over to twitter and can't find any details but found this. A client?

Late to the party as usual but huge congrats @Flumps and Mr F

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

I've been thinking, are we all going to tune in to this shitshow Hellmans show tomorrow? Is it only on instagram, I've just been over to twitter and can't find any details but found this. A client?

Late to the party as usual but huge congrats @Flumps and Mr F

Does anyone know if you can use storieswatch or an equivalent to view it without contributing to numbers? I’m guessing it’ll be IG live/TV, which we can download and share later and do a delayed live stream?

I’m conscious that even with just 20 of us, that’s 10% of her audience so she’d be right to cough up a lung laughing at us...

 

[Saturn.]

I’ll start the list of jobs she hasn’t done:
• trained chef

I find myself getting increasingly strong scaffolder vibes - but I am not aware of her doing that job yet.

 

[Nottonightbabe]

Green months is a good description. My veg box is full of asparagus, spring greens, salad leaves, fresh herbs, flat beans and pea shoots. I love it after all the root veg. I'm going through tons of (fresh) lemons, as bright flavours are all I want at this time of year.



Green months is a good description. My veg box is full of asparagus, spring greens, salad leaves, fresh herbs, flat beans and pea shoots. I love it after all the root veg. I'm going through tons of (fresh) lemons, as bright flavours are all I want at this time of year.

Same! We started our veg box in the Autumn, and I like root veg, but after a while Christ I got fed up of squash
Love the greenery in the boxes we get now. Definitely not hankering after a swede...

 

[Silver Linings]

Green months is a good description. My veg box is full of asparagus, spring greens, salad leaves, fresh herbs, flat beans and pea shoots. I love it after all the root veg. I'm going through tons of (fresh) lemons, as bright flavours are all I want at this time of year.



Green months is a good description. My veg box is full of asparagus, spring greens, salad leaves, fresh herbs, flat beans and pea shoots. I love it after all the root veg. I'm going through tons of (fresh) lemons, as bright flavours are all I want at this time of year.

fresh lemons! Fancy.

 

[Flumps]

I find myself getting increasingly strong scaffolder vibes - but I am not aware of her doing that job yet.

I am not sure that JM would enjoy the rather, um, robust nature, of the banter on the building sites of my acquaintance. Though my experience dates back 20 years, so I suppose it's *possible* that in these more enlightened times the environment would be more respectful of people's non-binary preferences.

 

[Nottonightbabe]

I've been thinking, are we all going to tune in to this shitshow Hellmans show tomorrow? Is it only on instagram, I've just been over to twitter and can't find any details but found this. A client?

Late to the party as usual but huge congrats @Flumps and Mr F

She just can't let the Pesto E Coli go can she?

 

[Cookiecookie]

Jack certainly has some culinary skills - didn’t realise it was possible to overcook the yolk whilst simultaneously maintaining a snotty white when poaching an egg.
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Totally stolen from the lovely Nadiya too.

 

[MrsOgre]

I forgot to add this yesterday, I got a beef joint from lidl, cooked it and went to carve it to find it was full of fat inside
Hubs wanted some sort of meat so I opened a tin of corned beef, all the corned beef jokes started, except it backfired on me and I was actually ill. I didnt eat much at all yesterday but I stayed away from this thread as penance for what happened