Jack Monroe #178 I am a human being and I make mistakes

[People-huv-tae-know]

"The cod is poached in its own defrosting juices" (or whatever it was that she said )

I'd get booted out for saying that

Btw I Arsebot. He is my new hero.

 

[Sideboard Bob]

Sorry @HotesTilaire I'd forgotten about the Onion Police in Black. Please accept this two-cheeks-of-the-same-arsebot as an apology. I know I'm not m'ladybot but really all artists are the same, aren't they? I'm aware it also looks like a massive penis, that was unintentional.

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(also Hotes you featured in a dream I had a few nights ago but due to my limited knowledge of your person, it was your old avatar of the woman who doesn't exist perched atop a woman with preposterously huge tits and you never said anything)

1. Wow
   
   
2. Let me get this straight, you dreamed about @HotesTilaire , who in turn dreamed about Sali Hughes, what in the Inception is going on here?!

 

[Walkdengirl]

The Scottish homeless got square sausage Bolognese thay had been cooking for many hours

 

[girolle]

The paella looks simultaneously dry and greasy. Jack's food is like mercury, it can easily change state!

 

[HotesTilaire]

1. Wow
   
   
2. Let me get this straight, you dreamed about @HotesTilaire , who in turn dreamed about Sali Hughes, what in the Inception is going on here?!

2.sali Hughes is a ruse....it was the onion Police she called!!!

 

[Flibbertigibbet]

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In her likes. Knob.

Extensive research.

I have extensively researched Our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ On A Bike, and found that what he actually said was "Motherfucker, duck thyself."

 

[traumatised sideboard]

I hate cardio and I don't ever do it (apart from walking) but if someone was following me with a bowl of that paella I'd be sprinting for my life.

Don't even get me started on self-diagnosis. bleeping tumblr and Twitter (primarily) morons hopping on the next available bandwagon because nobody can just have personality traits anymore, they have to be pathologised and turned into a minimum of one disorder. Her liking that tweet makes me even more certain she woke up one morning and realised if she said she was autistic people would make more allowances for her. Psychiatry is such a huge field that some dimwit with 4.5 GCSEs is barely qualified to make slow cooker tea for people who assign diagnoses, regardless of whether they were in the Top 100 Child in the Country charts.

@Sideboard Bob WE NEED TO GO DEEPER.

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

We could win marathons running away from that pile of writhing boak. I have to say, slop slagging is my favourite sport. Thanks Jack

 

[Pocahontas]

@Sideboard Bob WE NEED TO GO DEEPER.

Snort.

 

[HotesTilaire]

Noooo lets Not go deeper....it will be like layers of an ONION chop chop

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

@traumatised sideboard is that a Slop skull I spy in your profile pic? Please tell me it is not a victim of the Nilsson West Serial Slopinator?

 

[traumatised sideboard]

Honestly I live for slop slagging. It's no fun when she's being a raging twit and genuinely upsetting people. Well, apart from all of Spain with that rice dish. Has she not learnt from when Sorted Food made a paella burrito?

Haha @People-huv-tae-know it's a re-draw of a piece traditional tattoo flash originally by Bert Grimm.

Spoiler: original flash

 

[Suffolkmum]

Can we have another poll on the next thread?

Curious to see how many new bullying ninnies have found us this week.

the photos of JM's slop would not look out of place on the Slimming Hurled Twitter feed!

ETA link https://mobile.twitter.com/slimminghurled?ref_src=twsrc^google|twcamp^serp|twgr^author

Bloody hell, just looked at it, Jacks getting her ideas from there.

 

[PoorPatrol]

It was included in her rant about That Man. Because he appropriated jollof rice. One Rant to Start It All. (It’s all in the Lime Goss article if you haven’t read it)

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Memorieeeees.... light the corners of my mind

 

[Mokie]

She thinks Nigella is so close a friend that she even called her Mom on Twitter! Yet I can never remember a time when Nigella has asked Jack around for one of her get togethers. Otherwise we wouldn't hear the last of it. She hasn't called over to Mary Portas's for a cup of tea and a bourbon. Matt Tebutt certainly hasn't contacted her for any social activity. It is almost as if they really don't see her as a friend at all.

She could have had it all........ (Now I have got Eve Gallagher in my ear all afternoon )

Baby in your arms at 17
You spend your life wondering what you might have been
'Cause love has turned to hate
But that ain't nothing new
You can have it all

And so she could have. What a waste of the most amazing opportunities for a mediocre talentless wanabee. She had chances time and again that many more talented people never get, and she squandered every last one of them.

Off topic but bloody ell @MancBee Eve Gallagher, takes me right back to Manto’s/Paradise Factory

Back to lurking but god, she’s still an absolute horror.

 

[Captainmouse]

This had me hooting

I nominate Two Cheeks bot as thread mascot!

I nominate arsebot as #thread title

 

[Hollaaa]

Honestly I live for slop slagging. It's no fun when she's being a raging twit and genuinely upsetting people. Well, apart from all of Spain with that rice dish. Has she not learnt from when Sorted Food made a paella burrito?

I'm a reluctant low carb frau and that burrito looks filthy and delicious and I would incur the wrath of Spain AND Mexico to try it.

 

[Suffolkmum]

This is it. Slop Dieting (TM)
Eat the paella or go for a run?! Which is it to be?!?!?!
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Probably both.

 

[Veronicaaa]

Rice does not a paella make.

Jack's previous paella, from her website. For comparison's sake.

(What's the betting that if her new paella recipe ever appears <ahem, doubtful> that it will use raw turmeric to colour 'flavour' the rice?)

 

[Flash123]

Why can’t she just call it stir fry?