Jack Monroe #170 Outrageous grifting dirtbag

[colouredlines]

pot noodles have their place. they are tasty and filling. I had the chow mein one the other day for the first time in years, was a good nostalgia trip. however, stirring peanut butter in is a step too far



you were on the weakest link?! used to love that show, screeching "bank! BANK, you dumbass!" at the telly I'm sure I didn't scream that at you though, dear heart.

used to work with a dude who went on it. made a massive deal out of it. went out in the 2nd round. turned up on coach trip a few years later. has the same name as an extremely famous dead singer

on topic, Jack's a twat

It was a really mad experience, and surprisingly intense. I actually had a Jack moment and mispronounced an answer, and Anne Robinson paused for what felt like eternity before saying, "I'll accept." In my defence, I was 20!

@colouredlines .... you've been on the Weakest Link!!!? I've been re watching the older ones with Ann Robinson. I forgot how savage she was to the contestants...but it's such a great show.

Did she speak to you?

She had a policy of only speaking to contestants when the camera was running, so as not to break character. She was mean about my hairstyle, but I dissed her in my exit interview so let's call it a tie.

There was a very religious American woman on with me whose job involved matchmaking virgins in Essex, so she got the brunt of it.

I would love to see Anne Robinson vs Jack! R Jackie would be on the floor howling in seconds...

 

[Cookiecookie]

Oh bless thank you, I’ll give it a listen love the repeating behaviours thing! It’s so true, if old behaviours no longer serve you why keep them?

Spoiler: Long n not everyone’s ☕

It’s funny cos if someone gives up dairy it’s a non issue, accepted at face value and no one checks if they’re really sure they’ve got a problem with dairy and it’s not just that milk, the supermarket, or that day, or a bad patch in their life. But if you give up alcohol you may as well host an Insta live to answer all the questions it brings up, how much doubt or outright refusal to believe you’ll be met with, I think that’s a huge part of why anonymity works so well cos you don’t need to invite those opinions into your decision making process.

Everyone’s rock bottom will be different, because everyone is different. There’s nothing wrong with not having a glamorous or exciting or tragic origins story, most chairs you hear are from normal people who went through some shit and are now trying their best to work through it all. It’s mental health at the end of the day, working on that is a very normal thing to do. This doesn’t align with Jack’s desires for yet another “against all odds” branding opportunity so naturally she had the worst alcoholism, claiming long tenure recovery she hasn’t got, the most evil celeb sponsor, it’s just tiresome.

Jack sees this as another gem in her crown of celebrity, like the tragic downfall of the maverick outsider turned tabloid fodder superstar, especially with the stories she wheels out all orientating around staff / success / locations / work. Sometimes I think the anonymity does us a disservice as it’ll always be a case of the emptiest vessels make the loudest noise, the only people that’ll do these sorts of press pieces will be sick because they’ve not understood you just do not do this. Awfully guache, darling! x

Alcohol is such a funny one people get upset over. My mum is really allergic (pregnancy triggered it weirdly, she was fine until she had my brother) People get so in her face about it, trying to sneak her drinks, arguing and so on. You'd never dream of offering an ex heroin addict a needle, so why does drink sparks such emotions? It must be really tough for those of you in recovery, and you all speak so eloquently about it. Jack just dived in with her usual 'expert' opinion, and diminished people's genuine struggles (again)

 

[Veronicaaa]

I'm here still trying to parse "I don’t want to use the word ‘honour’ as there’s no inherent nobility in suffering".
You don't want to say 'it was an honour to take part' because you think that would imply there's a nobility to your suffering?

 

[MaineCoonMama]

I've been using the food bank since Covid hit and MC Dad isn't working. Last month I got a box of Twinings tea and I did a hoot with the joyful glee of a decent cuppa.

I don't think it matters what you choose to or can afford to donate, Jack's probably lying about the biscuits anyway

 

[EddieBeds]

...In the before times we used to go on holiday...

This had me hooting. It conjured up an image of Philomena Cunk. Can you imagine her interviewing Jack or reviewing one of her ‘cook’ books?

To be fair she’s clearly seen Jack chopping an onion already...

 

[AdultHumanFemale]

I’ve never taken drugs. MH means i was on prescribed mind-altering things for a while in my 20s so didn’t want the risk. My friends used to go off to parties and have coke or MDMA and one said to me seriously that they were at a party and everyone had got a bit dull and boring so they took coke and had a great time til 4am. My question was that if they liked those people they wouldn’t need to take drugs to enjoy being with them. So why bother? My best friends I have a great time with without drinking. Now I don’t like drinking with people I don’t know, but I used to. Along with my rule about ‘nothing good happens after 2am so go to bed’ the ‘you don’t need to drink to enjoy your real friends’ is another one I think stands up. I’m a big square I know.

I've really enjoyed (not sure if the correct word, but y'know...) this thread of conversation.

@Vanelope I had a fairly similar experience to you in my late teens and early 20's with friends. I don't do drugs, and whilst I do drink (and enjoy the rare drunken night out) on the whole might drink once or twice a year? Which to a lot of people I know of my age and older think is bizarre.

When my mental health was obviously getting worse, I made an active decision to stop drinking for about a year as I had previously found myself on a slippery path, and my mother is an alcoholic. I knew the signs and saw that I was replacing my depression with cheap vodka, and ultimately ending the night crying myself home anyway. This is the exact same cycle I saw in my Mother and I refuse to repeat it.

I'm quite lucky in the sense that I have never been easily swayed by what other choose to do, or can be influenced to do things I do not want, but I know had I not had that strength within myself my life could be completely fucked up by now. (I'm not trying to imply weakness, just my obstinacy had a positive effect for me).

But also the part about how friends cannot get together without relying on drugs (especially) and alcohol? It's really sad, and certainly ruined a good few nights out for me, and stopped me participating too.

And @heretoreaditall2019 your posts are always so brutally honest, and I really love that. Also a certified neek here, and I wouldn't have it any other way. And you're completely correct that a problem isn't just a problem once you've self-imploded, and measuring these things against those who are at the far end of the scale only normalises unhealthy behaviour.

Thank you all for sharing, and for being honest. Our society is more than a bit shit when it comes to drink and drug culture and what should be seen as "acceptable".

 

[MancBee]

The only thing we can say with certainty is true is that she likes a Pot Noodle.

A Bombay Bad Boy Pot Noodle. Because that's sooooooooo spicy. Dead hard she is.

Yet she uses 1/2 teaspoon of curry powder in her curry recipe.

 

[Orphan_Black]

View attachment 496538View attachment 496539

She's so desperate it's skeevy.

Plus that opening line about 'honour' and 'no inherent nobility in suffering' is rustling my jimmies.

Fuck off Jack, you fraud!!!

 

[Harrybosch]

My daughter says someone has gone through the books in their 'reading nook' at school with the white out, getting rid of any bad words

Frankly, what's the point of reading if not to look for all the bad words?

 

[Lanie]

During the 2016 the year I like to call Isis went nuts with the old attacking the west and I being a sleep deprived new mum sat and watched them unfold on the BBC news had a panic attack ( suspected heart attack) and got an ECG. Reader it was not a heart attack but anxiety.

Also the only person I told was my husband because he needed to mind the baby while I went and got sorted. No drama, no pics.. just done.

 

[MancBee]

She really must know some influential people, or some tea it’s certainly not talent/merit based

I think she has just been lucky to have met some influential people, and has charmed them with her smol, pixie, self deprecating love bombing. I bet she is a right brown nose, bum licky, groveler; fawning over anyone that can possibly get her a paid gig.

They also feel sorry for her because they take her at face value and believe her poverty backstory. They do that as they don't know any other truly poor people for their frame of reference.

 

[bladiesla]

All this "I can eat spicier food than you" nonsense reminds me of the Goodness Gracious Me sketch "Goingbout for an English". For you younger Fruas that haven't seen it, it's worth a watch on YouTube. The Indian family all sit around in an English restaurant daring each other to eat the blankets food.

I remember seing that scene as a Dutch teenager and in translated well (I believe it was the Kupar family, trying to be seen as the Coopers (I can't find it, so perhaps it wasn't, haha). I was trying to describe the scene to someone recently, who had no clue what I was talking about and it warms my heart it getting a mention here!

ETA: Found it:

 

[Mel Donte]

Just had a sudden horrible thought - what has she done with the hair from her undercut?

 

[LavaFlake]

Your thankyous won't buy me my FOREVER HOME. I've worked 140 hours this week and yet I still rent...I accept euros, bitcoin, and unsold copies of Good Food For Bad Days (give me enough and I can build my forever home from them).

I've just sent you a small donation. It was all my rent money and I will get evicted tomorrow but I know how poor you are and how important it is that your Small Boy can finally plant his own eucalyptus tree in his Forever Garden.

 

[Veronicaaa]

Lol she had to do this twice because she forgot her great friend the robot man in her first draft. Poor little robot guy.

 

[Into_the_tunnel]

Are we assuming that all of her contractual commitments are done for a while now and she can go and gently heal while her tectonic fault lines continue to shift and do whatever?

Jack did you remember writing that because we all do.

So to remind you

Still this

Spoiler: I don’t know what to call this sorry

In the words of Chandler “could I BE any more pissed off?”.

No.

 

[colouredlines]

I've also been wondering with the David Williams books why she did not take that as an oportunity to put books she does think are great for kids in the spot light. You know, in the whole spirit of #bekind.

Exactly. Especially because if you take away the DW books, kids who love all the fart jokes etc aren't going to say, "Oh well, no Gangster Granny, guess I'll have a crack at War & Peace instead." They just won't read.

 

[Imainlylurk]

Those tweets from 2017 are truly shocking - the level of lying and dishonesty is much more blatant and shameless. Also petty but she used 'y'all' way too much.

 

[traumatised sideboard]

Why is it so dryyyyyy It's barely recognisable as food. If I were attending her dinner party I'd fortunately get the vegan option, which is knackered lemon slices and reconstituted tomato purée over charcoal jackfruit with some undercooked Linda's meatballs slung on top

 

[LennyBriscoe]

This exact thing happened to my friend when we were maybe 24/25, then almost cleared up as soon as it had arrived. She didn’t drink wine for ages as she was wary of it but now almost 10 years later she doesn’t get a reaction at all. Very strange! She’ll be glad to know it happened to other people though as we all just called her an attention seeker

I’ve just noticed your avatar, I’m decked

Spoiler: Alcohol Chat

I appreciate everyone’s honesty so much. It’s been a tough read in a way, I’ve been lucky not to experience hassle for not drinking (but I’m a bit antisocial to be fair and when I’m out it’s with people who know). A few years ago my work hooked me up with a Counsellor and he was my biggest problem in this regard - I’d told him I’m an alcoholic quite early on because he’d asked how many units I drank p/w. He said to me one session “it’s a real shame you know that you can’t just go out and get drunk, let your hair down” . And he also told me that he and one son stopped inviting the other son on nights out because he’d decided to stop drinking (he felt it was getting out of hand) and was now boring!

The support on this thread never ceases to amaze me. We cover such a range of sensitive issues and folk here just...get it. We have a lot to think Jack for in a way. Goddamnit.