Jack Monroe #170 Outrageous grifting dirtbag

[SweetTransvestite]

I made it to the bit where she's talking about posh biscuits making her feel like a human or something.

Yup, sitting there in her cold RENTED flat with no heating, the fridge unplugged and with her small child she somehow made the fancy M&S biscuits last a whole week by nibbling round the edges. This made her feel like a whole, human person rather Mrs Tattlemouse Tittlemouse from Beatrix Potter.

Ooh, Brucie bonus! There's a spontaneous mention of tinned fruit at 19seconds in

 

[Silver Linings]

In the court stuff I was reading today, it mentioned that she applied for the RAF but was turned down.

I wish I had the skillz to do a Biggles-type mock up....

 

[colouredlines]

Do they still make that telly show ‘This Is Your Life’?
You’d be hired in a flash for Jack’s.

It would have to be a three-part special just to fit in coworkers from all her old jobs!

In fact, This is Your Life would be the best show ever for Jack. Imagine her trying to keep her shit straight:

"Now we come to the time you visited a slaughterhouse, recovered from your self-proclaimed meat addiction, and vowed to be a lifelong vegan."

"Did I?"

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

...and one more.

2014. 2014. Has anyone in human history ever developed so little over so many years?!

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Imagine having a grandad with a hotel he sells for development and still believing yourself to be poor / from a WC background. The plastic hotels literally win you a game of monopoly......

 

[bladiesla]

If she'd go on Mastercheff she'd make her famous chickpea peach curry and go on and on about

For desert, the flacid yorkies with Del Monte tinned fruit #ad

Actually, just thinking I would love her on Celebrity Masterchef, with Grace Dent as a judge, and then servind this monstrosity

 

[MaineCoonMama]

She's asking for it wanting to know what their collective noun would be. An irritation? A grift?

 

[Mr Krabs]

GARDEN JACK CHAOS ODDS:

* gets another splinter 1/2
* pricked by a rose 2/1
* nettle-related drama 2/1
* nettle-related drama followed by a nettle recipe 5/1
* nettle-related drama followed by the promise of a nettle recipe that never materialises 3/1
* stung by a bee, chaos ensues 3/1
* stung by a bee, develops deadly allergy 4/1
* chased by a swarm of bees and ends up getting hit by a car and having bee drama for the rest of her life 50/1 (Jameela Jamil got there first)
* stung by a bee, says "ouch" then laughs it off 50000000000/1
* feeds local wildlife something inappropriate 5/1
* hilariously mistakes a hose for a snake 6/1
* gets eaten by a venus fly trap 1000/1 (but a girl can dream...)

2/1 -- in a week's time, she literally never mentions gardening again

 

[EllaEm87]

I like how she took the opportunity to sneak in a shot of her bra and breasts. Might just be me but if I'm unwell enough to be in hospital
I'm probably not going to be in the mood for taking thirsty AF cleavage shots.

Especially if you’re dysmorphic about them.

 

[bowiethesdmn]

I love Marcus's 'I want to know what you think'.

If Jack tweeted this she'd say 'no guesses please this is my story to tell' and limit the Tweet replies.

He seems like a really nice lad. I'd wager he's faced a lot more shit than imaginary comments on his tattoos and masculine aesthetic as well.

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

Comparing google results / press coverage for campaign outcomes for Jack versus her “peers” Jamie Oliver and Marcus Rashford.

It’s almost as if she’s done... fuck all.

 

[Harrybosch]

I have spoken to a family member who lives in Birkenhead that has two senior school age children in different schools. This is causing havoc on facebook groups and SM over there. The kids don't break up until tomorrow and that parcel wasn't anything to do with FSM. The people that have provided it are really upset.

Doesn't surprise me. The follow up tweets made it quickly obvious that these weren't any kind of official FSM. Around where I live there are several grass roots organisations who will provide extras to families in need. I imagine their parcels may look similar and they are not intended to be full meals, but just a little extra to help out . All the items on the photo are from Aldi. Total cost probably around £6-8. It is what it is, but I guess that can't cause Twitter outrage.

 

[phoebuscartel]

I was a very social drinker in my youth but when I had children I stopped. Even now I only really drink with a special meal or on the odd night out( which is odd).

I feel with everyone when I do happen to go to friends houses with kids in tow they often want me to drink ( lots) with them, but I just don't want to. I don't feel right drinking more than one when the kids are about and it's my own personal choice.

Big love for all you ninnies as you always talk about things in such a interesting incitful way.

Oh yeah, and all the gin mummies stuff and "when you turned up at the picnic with just monster munch and prosecco I knew we would be friends" shit on facebook, as if non drinkers and people who want to supervise their kids properly are all booooring. So immature. I spent enough of my 20s trying to substitute alcohol for my personality, I'm done with that!

 

[HotesTilaire]

Just to chip in, I was a binge drinker and could sometimes keep it under control but only 3 out of 4 times, the 4th time would be blackout. Since I got covid last year, making me one of the longest of long covid sufferers btw yes a year of it, I have not been able to drink and I think it will stay that way. I no longer have the health/energy for it and that’s no bad thing.

 

[MancBee]

I (blessedly) didn't take in a single adenoidal word she said because I was entranced by her eye shadow. Slathering on a full eyelid's worth of brownish makeup is certainly an interesting technique.

It's the masculine aesthetic, innit.

Can anyone point me towards anything masculine about Jack, other that a denim shirt? What masculine pursuits does she take interest in? It proves to me that she thinks gender is a matter of what clothes you wear, a dressy up game. She does the trans and non binary community absolutely no favours.

I know that gender non conformity is a difficult subject, and no one knows what is going on inside her head; but the way she changes her pronoun, outfits and interests, to suit whatever topic is trending waves a great big warning sign to me.

I've just remembered, she had a fleeting interest in bridges and tanks. Of course there are no women in Civil Engineering or the Military.

 

[bladiesla]

Looking forward being home in Sunny Southend once this lockdown is over.
Will be forensically avoiding certain places, which made me think; what would you say to Jack if you were ever introduced?

"I have some chippy chips leftover in the freezer, any tips for using them up?"

 

[DinosaurSenior]

The word "poverty" actually gets on my thruppenies now. Her constant use of it has tainted it.

There's soooo many different types of financial instability and general lack of funds. Poverty to me ranges from having no cash for the electricity key meter, the last toilet roll, no printer ink....but for someone else it's the possibility of losing their accommodation.

For others it's not being able to afford viv (rip) westwood frocks.

Also....primal scream chat earlier reminded me of the time that my (shit) band went on tour with them 30 years ago. That's my only claim to fame

 

[Hollaaa]

I do hate to be a ...Chard Truther...but it's not a perennial so it only lasts a couple of years. So having it for ten years is odd.

I'm in the office today so will amuse myself with a rummage around in the Jack court stuff. Always a nice reminder of just how close she came to having the whole case go totally the other way...

I LOVE that we have a Chard Truther in the cable. Out here getting those lies like it's whack-a-mole.

 

[traumatised sideboard]

She's like an insect trapped in amber doomed to remain frozen for all time except rather than being beautiful, she's a massive vile bellend on Twitter. Remarkable! Hopefully we're not going to get a Jurassic Park situation out of her.

 

[Eurgh]

I would shyly shuffle up to her in a shop and whisper in her ear about how inspiring she is to me.

 

[Boyo]

Looking forward being home in Sunny Southend once this lockdown is over.
Will be forensically avoiding certain places, which made me think; what would you say to Jack if you were ever introduced?

Did you get the soap I left?