Jack Monroe #170 Outrageous grifting dirtbag

[LennyBriscoe]

Here goes. The best of 2017 Jack, courtesy of the Wayback Machine. Broken pictures are due to problems with the archive. In any screenshot with multiple tweets, read bottom to top.

Spoiler: Long, so under a tag

What was Jack like four years ago?

She had moved a mere 17 times...
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...and she was pretending to be hygienic. We all saw that Del Monte chicken recipe!

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Her arthritis was really bad - thank goodness that cleared up, eh?

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Her Coming Out Scandal du jour? Prostitution.

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This leads thematically to her best #ThatHappened of the time:

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She still found time for a spot of begging, though.

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She got drunk and destroyed her favourite bag:

View attachment 500407

Fair enough, she wasn't going to be able to afford a new one any time soon:

View attachment 500408

Oh dear.

View attachment 500410

A bit more begging, you say? Why not?

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She got sick with an unspecified but disgusting illness.

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...and she reminisced about her impoverished childhood. Too poor for an instrument, but not for ballet or karate.

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Some things never change: she was as triggering as ever...

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...and she couldn't spell.

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That's our Jack:

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Any final thoughts, Jack?

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Admin: Any update on the request for an eyeroll button??

“It’s just bile. Endless bile. My bathroom floor looks like my Twitter feed.” That’s really funny for her, I actually tittered!

 

[colouredlines]

More archive fun. This tweet sums up Jack's utterly batshit approach to social media (all 3 accounts are hers).

 

[Cack Slumrow]

I've also been wondering with the David Williams books why she did not take that as an opportunity to put books she does think are great for kids in the spot light. You know, in the whole spirit of #bekind.

(I know, I know, that would take way too much effort for the likes she would get in return).

I am all for critically assessing the popular culture we consume, but all the negativity without something constructive is just more negativity. Rather than rallying for the removal of David Willias books, why not cheer for the authors or books that deserve more attention? Why keep the outrage machine humming when you can do something constructive as well?

She reminds me of my colleague who during our lunch walk kept on ranting about some stupid PETA campaign (about not using animal words in sayings or something) and how ridiculous it was. After 20 minutes I congratulated him for doing exactly what PETA wanted him to do: amplifying the campaign and adding to the noise (PS I don't eat meat and dairy for animal wellfare reasons, but PETA can get tae France for me).

She just gets a few feelings and gobs off. She most likely won't be able to suggest any other books, I just cannot see her reading to a child unless it was performative bollocks to post somewhere.
You have to genuinely care about what you are furious about to effect any change, and genuine and care are not words I would ever associate with Jack.

 

[Walkdengirl]

Spoiler: Talk of being sick

I don't have kids so happy to be corrected by frauen with more experience in this area but, but it seems to me really unlikely that an 8- year old child would overeat to the extent of making themselves sick. Or if they did it would be a worrying indication of some wider issue with food or an ED? When I was sick when I was younger it was always due to a virus or something.. I was never sick from overeating and I don't remember that happening to anyone I knew. Being sick at school would be really embarrassing as other kids would be likely to take the piss, so it seems unlikely that he would do a 'tactical vom'..it's not like he was a teenager who had drunk too much cheap vodka but didn't want to end their night out, which is the circumstance where that phrase is more commonly used. I hate to think that he was genuinely ill and got zero sympathy or got treated like a naughty boy or a massive inconvenience.

Spoiler: Talk of being sick

I don't have kids so happy to be corrected by frauen with more experience in this area but, but it seems to me really unlikely that an 8- year old child would overeat to the extent of making themselves sick. Or if they did it would be a worrying indication of some wider issue with food or an ED? When I was sick when I was younger it was always due to a virus or something.. I was never sick from overeating and I don't remember that happening to anyone I knew. Being sick at school would be really embarrassing as other kids would be likely to take the piss, so it seems unlikely that he would do a 'tactical vom'..it's not like he was a teenager who had drunk too much cheap vodka but didn't want to end their night out, which is the circumstance where that phrase is more commonly used. I hate to think that he was genuinely ill and got zero sympathy or got treated like a naughty boy or a massive inconvenience.

Mine never did that, but my niece did, no eating disorder or owt. Some kids just do. It was Christmas and loads of sweets

 

[colouredlines]

...and one more.

2014. 2014. Has anyone in human history ever developed so little over so many years?!

 

[Cack Slumrow]

@FlashBoof That makes sense. Hasn't it already been extended at least once?

I don't believe she's away to work on her issues either, she seems to do that by posting it all on Twitter.

Wait what?! Did she actually say she was away to "work on her issues"?

 

[Switchstreetz]

The brambly mice laugh at poor Cooper behind his back. They have actually made saddles and bridles so that they can corral the magpies that also scratched Cooper's nose. Then they will ride into battle armed with thorny brambles and avenge Terry the sparrow by forcing Jack to eat her own slop and apologise publicly to Cooper for destroying his street cred.

Genuinely devastated this will never be a children's book, I can picture the illustrations in my head I love the Frauen songs and creative writing, genuinely made me laugh out loud a few times.

(Sometimes someone will ask what I'm laughing at though and It's genuinely stressful just thinking about all of the lore you'd need to explain to this person to make it make sense we must have enough chaoses & backstory for a novel now)

ETA thank you @SweetTransvestite for your pigeon contributions, I HOOTED and borrowed one hope you don't mind!

 

[traumatised sideboard]

She's like an insect trapped in amber doomed to remain frozen for all time except rather than being beautiful, she's a massive vile bellend on Twitter. Remarkable! Hopefully we're not going to get a Jurassic Park situation out of her.

 

[Cack Slumrow]

The plughole hair / tumble drier fluff Mrs Beaton knock-off.
ETA speaking of which, how many people who she's supposedly writing this for will have or use a tumble drier? It's the most expensive appliance to run!

I have never had a tumble dryer.
We didn't have hot running water when I was a kid, and when I washed up after tea at a friends house I put the kettle on and her Mum laughed and asked me why on earth was I doing that! I was mortified.
Sort of on Jack topic as that was poor growing up in Southend, and my friend and I were first year at Westcliff!

 

[LavaFlake]

...and one more.

2014. 2014. Has anyone in human history ever developed so little over so many years?!

View attachment 500604

These Tweets are like Jack's greatest hits. Checking off:

Didn't happen (then everyone clapped)
Dead Gramp's uninhabitable guest house
HOWLING
Ouchie mouths

Thankyou for doing the Lord's work through WayBack Machine @colouredlines

 

[Legionnairess]

Here goes. The best of 2017 Jack, courtesy of the Wayback Machine. Broken pictures are due to problems with the archive. In any screenshot with multiple tweets, read bottom to top.

Spoiler: Long, so under a tag

What was Jack like four years ago?

She had moved a mere 17 times...
View attachment 500400

...and she was pretending to be hygienic. We all saw that Del Monte chicken recipe!

View attachment 500401

Her arthritis was really bad - thank goodness that cleared up, eh?

View attachment 500403

Her Coming Out Scandal du jour? Prostitution.

View attachment 500404

This leads thematically to her best #ThatHappened of the time:

View attachment 500406

She still found time for a spot of begging, though.

View attachment 500405

She got drunk and destroyed her favourite bag:

View attachment 500407

Fair enough, she wasn't going to be able to afford a new one any time soon:

View attachment 500408

Oh dear.

View attachment 500410

A bit more begging, you say? Why not?

View attachment 500411

She got sick with an unspecified but disgusting illness.

View attachment 500412

...and she reminisced about her impoverished childhood. Too poor for an instrument, but not for ballet or karate.

View attachment 500414

Some things never change: she was as triggering as ever...

View attachment 500413

...and she couldn't spell.

View attachment 500415

That's our Jack:

View attachment 500409

Any final thoughts, Jack?

View attachment 500402

Hells teeth. I wasn’t aware of all of this. She needs an intervention. Seriously.

 

[colouredlines]

These Tweets are like Jack's greatest hits. Checking off:

Didn't happen (then everyone clapped)
Dead Gramp's uninhabitable guest house
HOWLING
Ouchie mouths

Thankyou for doing the Lord's work through WayBack Machine @colouredlines

Your thankyous won't buy me my FOREVER HOME. I've worked 140 hours this week and yet I still rent...I accept euros, bitcoin, and unsold copies of Good Food For Bad Days (give me enough and I can build my forever home from them).

 

[CabalofBolorneaise]

These Tweets are like Jack's greatest hits. Checking off:

Didn't happen (then everyone clapped)
Dead Gramp's uninhabitable guest house
HOWLING
Ouchie mouths

Thankyou for doing the Lord's work through WayBack Machine @colouredlines

Is anyone else reading these and being reminded of viral stories that were probably circulating at the time? Like the stripper one I would absolutely bet was one of the times the pic of the mum “selling Home Depot shovels” was going round, I remember loads of viral stories about people saying “yes I am” in response to people being gay etc. Seeing them all retrospectively it’s so obvious where the “inspiration” came from.

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

...and one more.

2014. 2014. Has anyone in human history ever developed so little over so many years?!

View attachment 500604

Imagine having a grandad with a hotel he sells for development and still believing yourself to be poor / from a WC background. The plastic hotels literally win you a game of monopoly......

 

[ChickenPorridge]

Just wanna say you're a legendary bunch of awful trolling ninnies for spoilering the sickness stuff. Really thoughtful and much appreciated at this end

 

[LavaFlake]

Your thankyous won't buy me my FOREVER HOME. I've worked 140 hours this week and yet I still rent...I accept euros, bitcoin, and unsold copies of Good Food For Bad Days (give me enough and I can build my forever home from them).

I've just sent you a small donation. It was all my rent money and I will get evicted tomorrow but I know how poor you are and how important it is that your Small Boy can finally plant his own eucalyptus tree in his Forever Garden.

 

[Pantomimehorse]

Do call handlers slide down the pole ?

 

[PoorPatrol]

Still no bleeping chaos? It’s Friday night, Jackie, live-o!

 

[Shawads]

Here goes. The best of 2017 Jack, courtesy of the Wayback Machine. Broken pictures are due to problems with the archive. In any screenshot with multiple tweets, read bottom to top.

Spoiler: Long, so under a tag

What was Jack like four years ago?

She had moved a mere 17 times...
View attachment 500400

...and she was pretending to be hygienic. We all saw that Del Monte chicken recipe!

View attachment 500401

Her arthritis was really bad - thank goodness that cleared up, eh?

View attachment 500403

Her Coming Out Scandal du jour? Prostitution.

View attachment 500404

This leads thematically to her best #ThatHappened of the time:

View attachment 500406

She still found time for a spot of begging, though.

View attachment 500405

She got drunk and destroyed her favourite bag:

View attachment 500407

Fair enough, she wasn't going to be able to afford a new one any time soon:

View attachment 500408

Oh dear.

View attachment 500410

A bit more begging, you say? Why not?

View attachment 500411

She got sick with an unspecified but disgusting illness.

View attachment 500412

...and she reminisced about her impoverished childhood. Too poor for an instrument, but not for ballet or karate.

View attachment 500414

Some things never change: she was as triggering as ever...

View attachment 500413

...and she couldn't spell.

View attachment 500415

That's our Jack:

View attachment 500409

Any final thoughts, Jack?

View attachment 500402

Wow. Where to start. I'm beyond intrigued by the ex sex worker grift. And the multiple foreign destinations the mulberry bag went to in the very short time since landing her first book deal and not having been abroad for ten years.

The rest is actual word vomit.
I've written on here before how some of her behaviour reminds me of a more shameful and less enlightened me and I saw earlier another tattler said something similar.
She really does remind me of times when I've been feeling let down and bitter and dare I say, victim-y and fished for sympathy and support in a very passive aggressive way.
I cringe looking back when I see all her crap laid out like this in one place.

View attachment 500659
Do call handlers slide down the pole ?

Only the sexy ones.
Just reminded myself of homer Simpson

 

[FlashBoof]

Just wanna say you're a legendary bunch of awful trolling ninnies for spoilering the sickness stuff. Really thoughtful and much appreciated at this end

As someone that, whilst would never be so dramatic as saying I am emetephobic, but certainly don’t do any form of sickness well, I thank you all too. I am even a bit ropy with that weird GIF of a puppet throwing up, which crops up occasionally (and usually in context with Jacks food, to be fair!).