Jack Monroe #170 Outrageous grifting dirtbag

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Wholesome (!) off topic but also tickled me...

Our friend Gerald the Gardener, who is a delight and I am livid about Jack muscling in in his loveliness, well, he is now involved with a Gucci campaign. See, Jack - if you are honest, hard working and true to yourself, then you are rewarded!

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Gucci! 😂
 
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Gosh those sickly sweet tweets are so sickly. I think I just vommited.

That's the kind of behaviour id block people for being smarmy gits. You can be too nice.

Also if she's wholesome I'm glad Im not.
 
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Here goes. The best of 2017 Jack, courtesy of the Wayback Machine. Broken pictures are due to problems with the archive. In any screenshot with multiple tweets, read bottom to top.

What was Jack like four years ago?

She had moved a mere 17 times...
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...and she was pretending to be hygienic. We all saw that Del Monte chicken recipe! 🤢

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Her arthritis was really bad - thank goodness that cleared up, eh?

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Her Coming Out Scandal du jour? Prostitution.

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This leads thematically to her best #ThatHappened of the time:

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She still found time for a spot of begging, though.

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She got drunk and destroyed her favourite bag:

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Fair enough, she wasn't going to be able to afford a new one any time soon:

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Oh dear.

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A bit more begging, you say? Why not?

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She got sick with an unspecified but disgusting illness.

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...and she reminisced about her impoverished childhood. Too poor for an instrument, but not for ballet or karate.

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Some things never change: she was as triggering as ever...

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...and she couldn't spell.

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That's our Jack:

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Any final thoughts, Jack?

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Thread title suggestion:

The money is being obstructed by the sword of Domacles
 
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She is not a glass half full type, she is not even a glass half empty type...........
She is a glass 3/4 empty type if you ask me!
To me she's a poorly rinsed (then painted) bean tin with tripple-used beet root cooking water. Full though.
 
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Ruby Tandoh has released an audio cookery book. Ha, ha, bet Jacky is tamping😆
Yeah, she spoke about it on that thing with Grace Dent and Jack. She explained how she wanted it to be like someone's with you in the kitchen, like a friend guiding you along. About 5 seconds later, Jack made up that story about how she enjoys teaching friends to cook and uses them as recipe testers 🙄
 
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Do call handlers slide down the pole ?
This is a good example of Jack using strange phrasing to say things and not say things at the same time.

She both alludes to her having been a firefighter and ensures that if questioned she can truthfully point out AHHHH BUT YOU SEE I DIDN'T SAY I WAS A FIREFIGHTER I SAID HE WAS CONFUSED ABOUT MY FIRE SERVICE JOB.

Also obvs it never happened. Even if it did I can’t imagine anyone being interested. Kids say weird stuff.
 
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In the court stuff I was reading today, it mentioned that she applied for the RAF but was turned down.

I wish I had the skillz to do a Biggles-type mock up....
 
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Yeah, she spoke about it on that thing with Grace Dent and Jack. She explained how she wanted it to be like someone's with you in the kitchen, like a friend guiding you along. About 5 seconds later, Jack made up that story about how she enjoys teaching friends to cook and uses them as recipe testers 🙄
I heard about it on R4 today. A presenter (who is blind, can’t remember his name), used it to bake a cake.
 
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