She also must know companies house have her age wrong if she has been there, because theyād have known and questioned it.I know.
Jack Monroe #170 Outrageous grifting dirtbag
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she's not gonna shag you pal
Thread title right there! If I may suggest it. I'm on a grunk so apologies if things have moved on
Thankfully not - but I feel for those guys. Thatching in this weather is nigh on impossible (itās very specialised as well, Iām definitely not an expert by any means!). Weāve been going round in circles with our tarps today. Secure one, another blows a corner...I feel like Iām in a bleeping Escher painting
Unicorn cuffs and mermaid cowl she was knitting? She barely managed the Shreddies blanket! We get it, you bought the shiny self-striping synthetic eyelash fringe yarn.
"Wholesome" is the latest word to have its meaning totally twisted by the internet. It used to just mean, like, tomato soup with brown bread or The Waltons or family games of rounders, now it's cat memes, robots, and Jack Monroe? Leave the English language alone, you bastards.
Ha, that tit was already past its peak popularity when I started knitting circa 2010, so I wouldn't be surprised if Jack discovered it in 2017.
Those tweets from 2017 are truly shocking - the level of lying and dishonesty is much more blatant and shameless. Also petty but she used 'y'all' way too much.
*And* samsung and urban decay
Seriously though this is some fab archiving @colouredlines. Constantly amazed at how she's lasted so long with this schtick.
bleeping hell. I might go back on the roofHere goes. The best of 2017 Jack, courtesy of the Wayback Machine. Broken pictures are due to problems with the archive. In any screenshot with multiple tweets, read bottom to top.
What was Jack like four years ago?
She had moved a mere 17 times...
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...and she was pretending to be hygienic. We all saw that Del Monte chicken recipe!
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Her arthritis was really bad - thank goodness that cleared up, eh?
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Her Coming Out Scandal du jour? Prostitution.
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This leads thematically to her best #ThatHappened of the time:
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She still found time for a spot of begging, though.
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She got drunk and destroyed her favourite bag:
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Fair enough, she wasn't going to be able to afford a new one any time soon:
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Oh dear.
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A bit more begging, you say? Why not?
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She got sick with an unspecified but disgusting illness.
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...and she reminisced about her impoverished childhood. Too poor for an instrument, but not for ballet or karate.
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Some things never change: she was as triggering as ever...
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...and she couldn't spell.
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That's our Jack:
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Any final thoughts, Jack?
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For someone who purports to be totes kerazy and unpredictable bcos puppy with hyperactivity she is remarkably consistent in being a whinging, grifting little toad. A bleeping decade of it. Change the record, Jack.
Slightly off-piste but I was bingeing Drag Race UK this week and IMO itās so weird that for years sheās been doing the middle-class-mummy live-laugh-love writing for the Express act when sheās a young woman, and totally ignoring this contemporary stuff. She just doesnāt even mention these huge cultural phenomena which uplift and give voice to her supposed community. There were two non-binary contestants this year (one of whom was a walking personality disorder IMO but nonetheless the question of pronouns/gender etc was handled pretty nicely). Why just no mention at all from her? Iām not saying she needs to watch EVERYTHING GAY BECAUSE HOMOGENEITY or anything, thereās just, like, no engagement at all with positive stories?
I mean I get that sheās BUSY writing the book that is literally six months late (*hyperventilates*) but sheās got enough time to tweet shite and manage her vast empire of sock accounts. Almost like she doesnāt want anything to do with a show which promotes acceptance and understanding because she canāt peddle her ridiculous āI am oppressed as a tattooed lesbianā tale.
Slightly off-piste but I was bingeing Drag Race UK this week and IMO itās so weird that for years sheās been doing the middle-class-mummy live-laugh-love writing for the Express act when sheās a young woman, and totally ignoring this contemporary stuff. She just doesnāt even mention these huge cultural phenomena which uplift and give voice to her supposed community. There were two non-binary contestants this year (one of whom was a walking personality disorder IMO but nonetheless the question of pronouns/gender etc was handled pretty nicely). Why just no mention at all from her? Iām not saying she needs to watch EVERYTHING GAY BECAUSE HOMOGENEITY or anything, thereās just, like, no engagement at all with positive stories?
I mean I get that sheās BUSY writing the book that is literally six months late (*hyperventilates*) but sheās got enough time to tweet shite and manage her vast empire of sock accounts. Almost like she doesnāt want anything to do with a show which promotes acceptance and understanding because she canāt peddle her ridiculous āI am oppressed as a tattooed lesbianā tale.
Our tit in her shoes like fat Freddy's cat
Working out what sheās saying and what she means...and what the truth is...who bleeping knows!?
Iām going to have to look back and see if I can find it in the way back machine but if anyone remembers when one of the card companies had UKwide (maybe even bigger?) issues and loads of card machines went down, I swear sheād tweeted about her card being declined and it being triggering etc which fair enough, but she also said people were judging her - as if it wasnāt happening to most of the UK at that point.
Edited because Iām incoherent today
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bleeping hell this is so cringe I'm embarrassed. Jesus christ on a bike!!!
Jack Monroe #181: kicks shins but doesn't empty kitchen bins
She is extremely selective as to who she directs her ire at in real life.
Have these people been neglecting their eyesight in lockdown???
If you take all your own food and a camping stove, don't forget she has posted about cooking in a hotel kettle before now
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