Thank you. Brain not functioning well this eveningyour reply box should look like this. 3 dots circled. I'm on phone, looks exactly the same when as when I'm on desktop
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Jack Monroe #170 Outrageous grifting dirtbag
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"If she calls me a floof one more time, I'll scratch her eyes out!"
All cats look through windows to be let in, don't they? She is desperate to catch Floofy doing something special so she can photograph it for likes on Twitter. Trouble is that cat never does anything different so we are bored to death with pictures of him sleeping or looking through a window.
The cat is as boring as she is.
he looks like he just found out she called him "the fluffiest of muffins" last night and he ain't best pleased. he's got street cred to maintain! he's well hard! don't show him up in front of the brambly mice!
If I met Jack I think I'd be speechless so I'd probably just do the Nelson Muntz point-and-laugh. HA HA!
The brambly mice laugh at poor Cooper behind his back. They have actually made saddles and bridles so that they can corral the magpies that also scratched Cooper's nose. Then they will ride into battle armed with thorny brambles and avenge Terry the sparrow by forcing Jack to eat her own slop and apologise publicly to Cooper for destroying his street cred.
I hope never to meet her (I’m sure this is mutual 
) but I’d ask her if she knew her recipes, costings and feeding herself, BB, SB, Coopsy and the five thousand on her £20 Asda shops are quoted and used to reduce the budget for things like FSM and food packages, thus undermining the work she claims to have done and that MR actually does...
) but I’d ask her if she knew her recipes, costings and feeding herself, BB, SB, Coopsy and the five thousand on her £20 Asda shops are quoted and used to reduce the budget for things like FSM and food packages, thus undermining the work she claims to have done and that MR actually does...
I’m on a grunk so apologies for where this lands, but why is the humble pot noodle getting such a slagging?! Most of my pre-teen and teen weekends were spent on a horse yard and honestly in the winter when you’d been shovelling stables and grooming horses all morning in the freezing cold, a pot noodle from the kettle in the tack room was THE best lunch to warm you up. Maybe why I have such affection for them because of the memories, but when I’m really hungover, a chicken & mushroom pot noodle is a game changer they even used to do Pot Rice but I dunno if that exists any more, the curry one was so good for warming your belly in the winter and it would keep you full all afternoon. Plus scrub as you might nobody has clean enough hands on a yard to even consider eating a sandwich that you have to hold!
they even used to do Pot Rice but I dunno if that exists any more, the curry one was so good for warming your belly in the winter and it would keep you full all afternoon. Plus scrub as you might nobody has clean enough hands on a yard to even consider eating a sandwich that you have to hold!
Sorry if this has already been discussed but will Jack be getting paid for her centre right think tank work?
Probably. She will donate an unspecified amount to an unspecified charity though.
I would OutJack her into submission.
JM: "Hi, I'm Jack Monroe, writer, activist, cook, 90% vegan, TV presenter, author, campaigner..."
CL: "Nice to meet you. I'm colouredlines, teacher, writer, internet bully, linguist, knitter, yogini, sewer..."
JM: "...recovering alcoholic, disabled person, double denim enthusiast, poet, dreamer, accidental conqueror of my own fears..."
CL: "I'm also a hiker, immigrant, crypto investor, bored hausfrau, protestor, educator, owner of a GAD diagnosis from a real doctor, AND I can dice an onion in under a minute."
JM: "I'm a washing machine operator!"
CL: "I was once on The Weakest Link!"
JM: "My granddad's dead!"
CL: "I can both make and spell béchamel!"
JM: "duck off, I'm going for a piss and a sandwich."
It will be MAGICAL, dear hearts.
JM: "Hi, I'm Jack Monroe, writer, activist, cook, 90% vegan, TV presenter, author, campaigner..."
CL: "Nice to meet you. I'm colouredlines, teacher, writer, internet bully, linguist, knitter, yogini, sewer..."
JM: "...recovering alcoholic, disabled person, double denim enthusiast, poet, dreamer, accidental conqueror of my own fears..."
CL: "I'm also a hiker, immigrant, crypto investor, bored hausfrau, protestor, educator, owner of a GAD diagnosis from a real doctor, AND I can dice an onion in under a minute."
JM: "I'm a washing machine operator!"
CL: "I was once on The Weakest Link!"
JM: "My granddad's dead!"
CL: "I can both make and spell béchamel!"
JM: "duck off, I'm going for a piss and a sandwich."
It will be MAGICAL, dear hearts.
Mainly coz Jack keeps wanging on about how great they are. Then I chimed in saying I actually don’t like them and turns out, many people actually don’tI’m on a grunk so apologies for where this lands, but why is the humble pot noodle getting such a slagging?! Most of my pre-teen and teen weekends were spent on a horse yard and honestly in the winter when you’d been shovelling stables and grooming horses all morning in the freezing cold, a pot noodle from the kettle in the tack room was THE best lunch to warm you up. Maybe why I have such affection for them because of the memories, but when I’m really hungover, a chicken & mushroom pot noodle is a game changer
As per, Jack is substituting having a personality with a bought productEdit
Bit behind so not sure where it will end up, but anyone training or exercising a lot - this is a brilliant book. A good chef who is also a cyclist, but the recipes translate well to many sports.
Back on topic, seen that Cooper picture on Twitter - so we must be due a good chaos if he'd been deployed!
Actually on second thoughts, I don't think I'd have a chance to say all that to Jack. I feel like the only time we'd be in the same room would be if I were called as a witness while she was on trial for crimes against Mediterranean food.
I am probably going to be cast out for this, but I can never seem to “cook” pot noodle right. The noodles seem to go from half of them still being raw to all of them being soggy in about 0.3 seconds.Mainly coz Jack keeps wanging on about how great they are. Then I chimed in saying I actually don’t like them and turns out, many people actually don’t
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I can cook actual pasta and noodles just fine, which hopefully redeems me from being a Jack level cook.
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I mean they’re not my favourite food and I deffo wouldn’t describe them as ‘immense’, but I’m slightly defensive of the salty potted snack. Also interesting side note, when I had braces age 12 I opted for silver bands one time. Ate a pot noodle, the bands turned bright radioactive lime green from the sauceMainly coz Jack keeps wanging on about how great they are. Then I chimed in saying I actually don’t like them and turns out, many people actually don’t
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love this! that’s the website I use to convert it for ad hoc things on here, there’s a formula you can use in excel if you need this btw? It’s unix time and it basically starts from some date in the 70s which I think is when unix was released...? It’s the easiest / quickest time format to choose (IMO) when outputting to a file, it’s just annoying it requires translating to something a human can understand!On topic: Jack hun where’s our bleeping slop, the coven deserve more than timestamp discourse, pls something red, or blue, or even your traditional brown, we do not mind
Please call me to attest, I will assemble a cabal of Amam’s And Yiayia’s who need to see justice
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