Jack Monroe #170 Outrageous grifting dirtbag

[Emmapism]

Why is it so dryyyyyy It's barely recognisable as food. If I were attending her dinner party I'd fortunately get the vegan option, which is knackered lemon slices and reconstituted tomato purée over charcoal jackfruit with some undercooked Linda's meatballs slung on top

If this was served to me at a dinner party I'd pitch myself out of the nearest open window

 

[Rekyavikgirl]

She really can't cook, can she?

 

[Walkdengirl]

Ooh just be aware kiwi fruit is quite a common allergen. I started with vaguely tingly mouth from eating them (also fresh pineapple) - then it progressed to airways starting to close from the tiniest bit in fruit salad
(Ross in Friends also had a kiwi fruit allergy).

And strawberries too.

I get tingly lips if I eat cheap kippers (I think I'm allergic to the artificial smoke),I avoid them like the plague now just in case it develops into something more serious

 

[Orphan_Black]

I think I would love her to be invited onto a set of "celebrity" masterchef/bake off

You only get an hour on some of those tasks, she'll still be chopping up onions by the deadline!!!

 

[Flibbertigibbet]

That squid spaghetti is like Charlie Chaplin's bootlaces.

 

[emm]

You only get an hour on some of those tasks, she'll still be chopping up onions by the deadline!!!

and then be blaming some kind of health issue I would genuinley LOVE to see her on masterchef

 

[Oxford_Girl]

Also if they are over this evening how does that work are we allowed to meet more than one person and can we meet indoors ?

 

[ChickenPorridge]

She really can't cook, can she?

Sorry but you must be unaware of her work. She once made a gorgonzola semi freddo with grape.

Or was it grape semi gorgonzola with freddo. I don't know anymore.

 

[Orphan_Black]

and then be blaming some kind of health issue I would genuinley LOVE to see her on masterchef

The bit where they have to sniff and look at ingredients to tell what they are would be hilarious with Jack.

 

[Shawads]

Spoiler: OT about book stuff

calling all John Wyndham fans- my much loved Chrysalids book . Price 20p! View attachment 497338

I have this copy, probably paid about the same. I love vintage books.

 

[Marj24]

I'd like to see Jack creating some dishes on tv for a group of elderly people, all of whom are not scared of giving totally unfiltered, honest feedback!

 

[Shawads]

The timeline actually makes it all a bit stranger: her Mrs Gloss posts, and her makeup hoarding, came after that Guardian article, her very brief time on testosterone, etc. The HuffPo piece where she claimed to be growing facial hair is right around the time the Mrs Gloss posts started.

I don't pretend to be an expert in this field, and there are certainly frauen and herren here who know far more, but even from my outside POV, it seems pretty fucked-up. She amps up the gender stuff when she thinks there's money and/or publicity available, and that's it.

I also laugh a bit at the fact that every time she posts a pic of herself in a dress/skirt/heels she says something like, "Here's a rare sight!" Is it really? Her Facetune adventures always have very conventionally feminine results, too: bigger eyes, longer lashes, fuller lips, a narrower jawline etc.

The real problem comes when people see her as a representative, or - as happened in January - hire her to speak as an expert on gender issues. As with cooking, poverty, autism, and so many other things, she knows nothing, and she's spreading that nothing around and people take it as gospel.

This was about the time I started to really take an interest. I had read the trans stories and possibly the alcoholism one around a similar time. I was also in the Mrs Gloss group at the time she was and I was already following on social media so had seen her very traditionally feminine photos, much more feminine then than before the transitioning revelation.
I was reasonably baffled, I had to go back and search the trans stories as thought I'd got the wrong person or imagined it!

 

[traumatised sideboard]

It would be my dream for her to be on Masterchef. Sadly she would step on glass/have multiple bees sting her lips/swallow a particularly sharp crisp the day before and have to bow out. The voice-overs for her dishes would run on forever.

'And Jack has cooked a spiralised egg, smoked cucumber, macerated liver, soft slow kipper and swollen lentil self-love stew with a bulgar wheat granita, peanut butter velouté, radiator-dried mushroom crackers, kale dust, a hyacinth pesto, freeze-dried seaweed crumble and a salad of eucalyptus leaves, custard, a single Del Monte pineapple slice, tea-pickled caviar, an entire punnet of cherry tomatoes and a gram of avocado topped with truffle shavings, yakitori seasoning and conceit.'

 

[Satisfying Click]

A known troll-ish account has posted this to NotJack. A conundrum now. If NotJack was truly not Jack, then I'm sure they'd respond with a breezy, "Thanks, I get my stuff from Debenhams," but as this is NotJack, they'll surely know by the name of the account that it's baiting them. Hmm.

Edited to add: the pineapple hat for @traumatised sideboard 's bot - [actual] chef's kiss

 

[Blurp]

I think I would love her to be invited onto a set of "celebrity" masterchef/bake off

I'm holding out for Hell's Kitchen.

 

[waffle maker]

Is she having a dinner party/ squid pasta endurance? I thought you couldn’t see your friends yet? I thought my mum told me forensically about uk rules....

edit- sorry I had a #majormisunderstanding it was just some embarrassing slop from the olden days

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

Also if they are over this evening how does that work are we allowed to meet more than one person and can we meet indoors ?

It's an old post. 2018.

 

[bladiesla]

If she'd go on Mastercheff she'd make her famous chickpea peach curry and go on and on about

For desert, the flacid yorkies with Del Monte tinned fruit #ad

Actually, just thinking I would love her on Celebrity Masterchef, with Grace Dent as a judge, and then servind this monstrosity

 

[Hollaaa]

If she'd go on Mastercheff she'd make her famous chickpea peach curry and go on and on about

For desert, the flacid yorkies with Del Monte tinned fruit #ad

JActually, just thinking I would love her on Celebrity Masterchef, with Grace Dent as a judge, and then servind this monstrosity

View attachment 497531

Getting jizz involved is probably taking it a bit far but you'd need a tactical escape of some kind, wouldn't you?

 

[Lanie]

Nearly crapped my pants earlier when some lady walked passed me in town talking about "triangulating her illness" into her phone ( still not sure how you do that and why she used THAT word.) Still looked at her like she had just said she gave Satan a bj