My kids can peel garlic for goodness sake! Take the end off, then squash lightly with the blade. If you want reasonably smooshed garlic, squash harder with the blade. Takes 5 seconds. But she’s not ‘cheffy’ and that’s why she can’t peel garlic, obvs. bleeping trolls.
Jack Monroe #16 Queen of the freezer, bathtime teaser & blue tick pleaser
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Unless of course you can beg one for free.
Quite pleased with Beg-a-SMEG... maybe I’m a writer?? Might add that to my twitter bio....I have a Smeg oven (double one - fancy). It's my pride and joy, after I left (escaped) my eldest son's dad it was my present to myself for my new home. It cost more than my car at the time did and I scrimped money each month to pay for it. Worth every penny to me and will always be a symbol of my independence and freedom from that relationship
Can't say looking at something, knowing I got it because I was just a massive bleeping beg-a-smeg (thank you so much for that phrase) would have the same feeling.
Up yours Jack.
Exactly, I love mine and it brings me joy. Kids laugh at how much joy it brings me
Read the book extract and the article. In the interests of fairness, the blurry photo of Jack in the article is a nice one.
The book extract made me feel tense and irritable, reminding me of horrible stressful school/work mornings. Not really what you want when you're not feeling your best for whatever reason.
Anyway, I have a radical solution for SB breakfasts. Buy him some cereal and let him help himself! It's not all sugary crap. That's what mine was doing at SB's age. You could even make it into a recipe if you like .
The book extract made me feel tense and irritable, reminding me of horrible stressful school/work mornings. Not really what you want when you're not feeling your best for whatever reason.
Anyway, I have a radical solution for SB breakfasts. Buy him some cereal and let him help himself! It's not all sugary crap. That's what mine was doing at SB's age. You could even make it into a recipe if you like .
I came off my motorbike once, slid down the road with it, a fair distance, my foot completely stuck underneath it, and only managed to break one bone out of an available 26. I'm such a slacker.FFS there's only 26 bones in the foot, trust Jack my-black-cat's-blacker-than-your-black-cat Monroe to break 47 of them
That article is awful and terribly writtenFFS there's only 26 bones in the foot, trust Jack my-black-cat's-blacker-than-your-black-cat Monroe to break 47 of them
Aww she’s not going to be around as she’s limiting her Twitter use. Yep, and I’m the Queen of Sheba
We should make a list of what Jack does and doesn't define as fancy or too expensive. Here's what I've got so far
FANCY
Capers
Fresh lemon
Stock pots
Cream teas
Houses with more than one story
Paying staff during lockdown
Testing recipes
NOT FANCY
Capers again, somehow
Smeg products
Burberry coats
Penhaligon's perfume
Visiting the Groucho
Having three freezers
Trips to Devon in the Land Rover
Add 'saffron' to the non-fancy list.
Not fancy - saffron
She tries to limit her twitter use approximately 5 times a day, it never works.
When she says limit, she means step back from 20 hours to just the 19 and a half!!
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Oh, good one! To the not fancy list, I'd add: owning a Tracey Emin, Cath Kidston bags, Russell & Bromley shoes, Zweisel glassware, Laguiole cutlery and Roberts (or maybe Marshall?) radios. Although to be fair, the household stuff could be Louisa's.
Radical suggestion, spread peanut butter on roll. Breakfast done.
Didn’t the last time she tried to ‘limit Twitter’ end up two hours later with her in a candlelit bath? Or her with a new haircut and reversed rat’s tail? Or her posing in a baggy crop top and midriff rocking a ‘what, this old thing?’ vibe?
Me confused as to what time away from Twitter means.
My fridge has a ‘left hand hinge’ (I’m right handed) as it’s in the corner of my kitchen
I don’t think there’s a better illustration of how much of a non-issue this is than the fact I’ve only just noticed this after reading her tweet
Left handed people have to learn to do most things in a right handed way. I’ve a left handed friend who learnt to play a standard guitar, yet Jack can’t manage to open a fridge
Its like when flanders opened up the Leftorium in the Simpsons
The garlic 'tip' alongside her flowery worded replacements (like when she bangs on about replacing tannins and citrus in recipes to show off she knows words rather than helping the home cook) only goes to make people think you need to understand lots of jargon and have tips and tricks up your sleeve to make a dinner.
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