Jack Monroe #15 Shaved head and on the beg. Whatever happened to the show from the shed?

[lipsticktaser]

can afford the fancy prices at the Groucho club, but can't afford afternoon tea.

The actually gave her a maverick award nomination in 2013. Explains the membership, it was probably free.

The Groucho Maverick Awards Nomination - Groucho Club

Nominate the most original and creative individual you know to win the most hallowed prize in all of Soho: the Groucho Maverick Award.

www.thegrouchoclub.com

 

[Raker]

Insert <eye roll emoji> right about here...

 

[LennyBriscoe]

To bless this thread and all who sail in her, I am smashing against its hull one of the most unintentionally funny sentences I have ever read in my life:

"Sit the duck down, I need to see bleeping Redcar!"

View attachment 128016

She didn’t just shout that fantastic line to anyone, it was Jude Law I’m honestly decked, just when you thought 2020 couldn’t throw up any more randomness

 

[Breakdance Badass]

I started reading this, and had to stop as my eyes are sore from rolling them so much! Loving her tips

Thinking of applying for Britain’s Hardest Grafter? Read this first.

TwentyTwenty productions are looking for applicants for a new television show that has been described as ‘Benefits Street meets The Hunger Games’. Are you thinking of applying for the chance to win…

web.archive.org

 

[LennyBriscoe]

I thought she wrote not my circus not my bleeping monkeys on the ballot paper.

what was Jude Law doing in Southend? Does he live there?

He was on holiday, staying in a friend’s bought house. Apparently the wind only blows colder round a house if it’s rented

 

[Harrybosch]

It does depend how big the advances were though, and how many copies have sold already. Her first book deal with Penguin in 2013 was for £25,000 according to her Wikipedia page (which may be incorrect, that's large and I think probably split over two books). So let's hypothesise she was paid an advance of £10,000 for the first one, which would then have been split down into something like £2,500 paid on signing the contract, £2,500 on delivery of the manuscript, £2,500 on acceptance of the manuscript (i.e. after editing) and £2,500 on publication.

Before she got any further money from that book in royalties, she would have to 'earn back' the advance - in other words, the first £10,000 in royalties from that book will go back to the publisher, and if they offer it at a deep discount to kickstart sales, the royalty will be discounted too. Once the advance has been paid back to the publisher, royalties get paid twice a year, so it's not exactly a constant cash flow.

Yes, of course, your advance are royalties paid in advance. I'm not sure it necessarily matters that you only get royalties twice a year. I do, but it's a lump sum which I spread out over the rest of the year. Sure, it would be tough to start with, but she's been published for quite a number of years now.

 

[FridayFunDay]

I love you all.

Been in and out since the early threads but read them all daily and you are all fab.

She doesn't need to read here. I would struggle with that if I was 'famous' bit surely it is lesson one of fame school?

 

[lipsticktaser]

It the words of the ancient philosopher James Vardè
‘Chat tit, get banged’
Unfortunately JM has spoke a lot of tit and told a lot of half truths. It’s catching up with her now.
Kiera Knightly, I have nothing to say about her. She goes to work and generally keeps her sneb out the paper. No need to gossip (but google pics of her and that Jamie Dornan, hello early 00’s fashion) JM wants to be spoken about. She just doesn’t want us speaking about her. Doesn’t fit the narrative.

 

[Breakdance Badass]

There’s bleach coming, watch out, there’s bloody bleach coming atcha soon. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 till the reveal

 

[Blurp]

There’s bleach coming, watch out, there’s bloody bleach coming atcha soon. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 till the reveal

She can't let go of her phone for a minute, can she? Do Louisa and Jon ever get any attention?

 

[Breakdance Badass]

She can't let go of her phone for a minute, can she? Do Louisa and Jon ever get any attention?

Nope, all night it looks like she’s been handing out Big Mac sauce recipes

 

[FrumpyCat]

Peroxide - just the thing for fragile falling out hair. Smart move Jack!

 

[Saturn.]

There’s bleach coming, watch out, there’s bloody bleach coming atcha soon. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 till the reveal

I think she has headed for the peroxide after a bout of paranoia, this time triggered by thinking Richard was trolling her with talk of the fat % in mince.




In other news - Jack really does love a minor celebrity interaction on Twitter. Matt politely replied to the initial response, and chose to ignore the rest.

 

[Tabitha D]

There’s bleach coming, watch out, there’s bloody bleach coming atcha soon. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 till the reveal

God the DRAAAAMA.

 

[PoorPatrol]

She can't let go of her phone for a minute, can she? Do Louisa and Jon ever get any attention?

She tweets nearly as much as Trump! I can barely glance over these threads and I’m back to work and kids, things to do around the house, endless things to do - how does she stay online for 20 hours an effing day?!

 

[Tabitha D]

Also, I think she’s *desperate* for the attention of famous or semi-famous people. She wants to be part of their world more than anything. See how she fawns over them on Twitter etc. Whereas she is actually quite rude and abrupt to her actual fans.

 

[Cat_scratches]

Moans her hair is falling out.
Shaves off hair.
Puts bleach on hair.
Hmmmmm that makes sense then.
If she's tried everything to stop her hair falling out - lotions, potions, vitamins, grated corned beef, horse spunk etc why the fook is she putting a damaging chemical on it?
Oh yes, because she's full of bs, fancied a new do, but that doesn't fit the narrative of despair.

 

[Saint_clemmie]

Also, I think she’s *desperate* for the attention of famous or semi-famous people. She wants to be part of their world more than anything. See how she fawns over them on Twitter etc. Whereas she is actually quite rude and abrupt to her actual fans.

the desperation in those tweets is too much! Have some self respect Jack.

What a contrast to the response you get if you’re just an average Joe, most of which have likely supported her financially in one way or another.

 

[Tabitha D]

the desperation in those tweets is too much! Have some self respect Jack.

What a contrast to the response you get if you’re just an average Joe, most of which have likely supported her financially in one way or another.

She is very dismissive of her “ordinary” followers, it’s almost like she is irritated by them, like they’re wasting her time.

 

[Pocahontas]

Thought your hair was falling out, you dill pickle.
Reeeeeeaaaalllllly great idea to put bleach on it then.

Yes, please stop brown nosing anyone with a blue tick and respond nicely to your followers and fans, who have bought your books and attempted your uncookable recipes with dismal results. Be polite and nice to them. They’re the ones who actually fill your little tip jar.