Jack Monroe #145 Mamapapa, why is all the food brown?

[People-huv-tae-know]

Eureka!

She puts the sodding tripod up at X height to ensure that Bae catches her sleeping at 45 degrees (or 60 when she wants it to look as though a fairy fluttering across the ceiling has taken the shot)

By the way, she needs to learn to use a dictionary rather than a Thesaurus. Vernacular is the language or dialect spoken by the ordinary people in a particular country or region, not the largely incomprehensible ramblings of yer actual Food Hater.

I think she stole it from us as usual. I used vernacular on the last thread when we were discussing the cruel taunts some children use.

 

[TheDragonWithAFlagon]

The lie on the hypotenuse is equal to the lies on the other two sides.

Shall we go for some Trig now?

SOHCAHTOA

Some Obnoxious Herbert Cooked A Horrible Type Of Anchoiade.

I think she stole it from us as usual. I used vernacular on the last thread when we were discussing the cruel taunts some children use.

Needs to revise her notes. We also used it when it was pointed out that using African American Vernacular English to have a go at a young black man was deeply offensive.

 

[Captainmouse]

That's why I don't believe for one minute that they lived that way. Jack does a public slop show and I don't believe that a very well-paid person would let her do a *cough* £'20" shop, not contribute and eat this crap.
I also remember Jack moaning about her wish that she once wants to eat that wasn't prepared by her. And surely if one person can't be arsed to cook but is on a high salary, it would be that person's job to have all the delivery companies on speed-dial.
If I were Louisa or benefit of the doubt another BB person I would also hate it if things were portrayed wrongfully, making me some kind of horrible scrounger...

They live on charlie binghams and deliveroo/just eat.

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

Shall we go for some Trig now?

SOHCAHTOA

Some Obnoxious Herbert Cooked A Horrible Type Of Anchoiade.




Needs to revise her notes. We also used it when it was pointed out that using African American Vernacular English to have a go at a young black man was deeply offensive.

Good point, I remember that now.

I also remember a maths teacher likening SOHCAHTOA to a nuclear disaster in Japan. He thought that passed for humour.

 

[Five hundred dogs]

“I use Pythagorus on a nearly daily basis.”

No. You. Don’t.

Either she simply said this to make herself sound intelligent without realising how utterly ridiculous it sounds, or she mistook what Pythagorus actually is and thought it was something basic like column addition, which she could possibly use regularly, and has now looked it up and realised her mistake. Either way slop making keyboard warriors don’t need to know the length of triangle sides.

 

[Eurgh]

Christ just give the boy some privacy!

 

[Bobtheknob]

So a quick calculation...

Jack has 344 patreons paying a minimum of £3.50
If all 344 paid just the minimum, that's £1200 a month income just from patreon.
Divide by £9ph, 133ish hours, divide by 4 weeks, 33 hours a week at £9

So tell.me again how she's poor?

I would estimate her Patreon is raking in around £2k. For sitting on her Mediterranean arse!

 

[MancBee]

Off to look up how Pythagoras is used on a daily basis..

Off to see if Tattle can give her any pointers you mean.

 

[Winthropp Tuesday]

They live on charlie binghams and deliveroo/just eat.

Or as it’s known in the crappy Bungalow “did somebody say, “Just Tweet”?”

 

[TurnedUpInTipp]

“I use Pythagorus on a nearly daily basis.”

No. You. Don’t.

Either she simply said this to make herself sound intelligent without realising how utterly ridiculous it sounds, or she mistook what Pythagorus actually is and thought it was something basic like column addition, which she could possibly use regularly, and has now looked it up and realised her mistake. Either way slop making keyboard warriors don’t need to know the length of triangle sides.

It'll be a nod to her Greek heritage. Pythagorean Slop with Feta.
She's now googling how it could possibly be used in photography.

 

[Fruitjack]

But we know that Jack hides behind the sofa when she hears the doorbell!

I absolutely love how we don't miss a single thing on here. There's ALWAYS a contradictory tweet, and someone ALWAYS remembers it.

 

[MancBee]

The lie on the hypotenuse is equal to the lies on the other two sides.

Sometimes one laughing response just isn't enough. Creased me up that did.

 

[TurnedUpInTipp]

Sometimes one laughing response just isn't enough. Creased me up that did.

I'm sure I've quoted it wrong but I hated maths and was in the bottom set.
When we did 'Quantitative Methods' for a semester during my degree, I cried every day!

 

[Captainmouse]

Who the duck had pinched her work , she’s living in cloud cuckoo land.

Surely you couldn’t pay someone to take it! Nobody, I repeat nobody would claim any of it as there own work

 

[Pixieboots]

how the hell does anyone, let alone a person who spends all day napping and tweeting, use pythagoras every day?!

some of these lies are just completely pointless!

IT'S HOW SHE TRIANGULATES US

Edit: I see @girolle got there first

 

[Marwood]

Something to do with angling camera mounts for food shoots?

 

[Mr Krabs]

Can you imagine being in a relationship where you were constantly reminded of how bleeping amazing the ex was, they were a multimillionaire, they had a wonderful house, they had books and TV shows and magazine full colour splashes and covers and your partner's photos taken when they were together show them as healthy, relaxed and happy at all times? But you get a miserable, angry, resentful, 'Well, I didn't have to cook absolutely everything all the time, I'd get lovely meals made for me because she could cook and wasn't off on a bike for hours every day, we just had to nip onto the Tube to get anywhere nice, rather than be trapped in this boring suburban hellhole where even Lidl is too far to get to, there was this wonderful little restaurant just round the corner from...OH. YOU'VE BEEN THERE, HAVE YOU? Was that one of your ''late night meetings'', by any chance, where I was sat here all alone for the entire weekend? [sniff] I suppose you'll be wanting your supper now and not tea like a normal person. [slams bowl of pureed vegetable pie filling onto the table.] I was TOO OUCHY to make pastry. I had to walk all the way to ASDA's, you know. And all the way back, too, because nobody 'needs a car', apparently.'

duck's sake.

Am I the only one who wants Allegra and Louisa to get together? They could share war stories and enjoy delicious non-sloppy meals together, while living in a house with stairs. And the narc rage coming from the crappy bungalow would be amazing.

 

[MancBee]

I'm sure I've quoted it wrong but I hated maths and was in the bottom set.
When we did 'Quantitative Methods' for a semester during my degree, I cried every day!

I don't know either. It is nearly 50 years since I did my A level in maths. I have used Pythagoras fairly infrequently since, though as a surveyor, it did come in handy from time to time. I can't think why a cook would be using it daily.

 

[blurstoftimes]

Why would a teacher be taking time out of their day to drop round books like she’s royalty? All of the homeschooling is online - if anything the teacher would be advising of further online reading / activities wouldn’t they?

Dear heart, you've answered your own question. Jack is royalty.

 

[ScamSandwich]

I really would not be able to survive a single day without applying Pythagoras!!! I might even change my username to Hypotenuse.

The teacher turning up at the doorstep, yeah, right. That is another film scene set in a
preferably Northern industrial setting, Miss Monroe working in a factory and SB as a gifted child and a very dedicated teacher who walks along a cobbled street to drop off books, knocking at the door "Miss?! It is Miss Cunningham, SB's teacher. I thought I'd give you those...your SB is a lovely and talented fella, I know you are not able to read and write and only know Pythagoras, but this might help him."