Vlad's just reminded me why 'Paging Dr Monroe' sounded so familiar, it's another level of Disney crossover with 'Paging Mr Morrow', from the theme parks.
Jack Monroe #139 Paging Dr Monroe
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Welcome @SlopAmbsase 
always nice to have new cabal members
always nice to have new cabal membersYou’re giving me PTSD, I had to sell it at a yard sale unfortunately. It wasn’t all bad though, I raised like £20k because I had so many second hand lightbulbs. No brag.
He’s obviously aware of her body of work!
Welcome @SlopAmbsase 
I'm in disbelief about the book. It reminds me of writing my dissertation at uni! Admittedly, I was a bit of a procrastinator and left a chunk of it until the last minute. Reader, that is a level of stress that no living mortal should ever experience. I can't believe that she's fishing for content for it as well!? Why not have an agreement with your publisher to have regular deadlines to keep you on top of things instead of half a year of procrastination to then be faced with 10 days of hell?
I'm in disbelief about the book. It reminds me of writing my dissertation at uni! Admittedly, I was a bit of a procrastinator and left a chunk of it until the last minute. Reader, that is a level of stress that no living mortal should ever experience. I can't believe that she's fishing for content for it as well!? Why not have an agreement with your publisher to have regular deadlines to keep you on top of things instead of half a year of procrastination to then be faced with 10 days of hell?
'Something' emerges from the rug of doom, and mounts a ferocious attackI might resume my countdown now that we have a new extended deadline for the book. 9 days Jack. 9 days.
What calamity do we think will befall Jack in the next 9 days that will stop the poor thing from delivering on time? I think she will be decluttering her minimal and neat home and will fall and land on her hand, specifically the one she writes with.
Place your bets!
On my tea break madly refreshing the page in anticipation of the Jaccident we know must happen.
I really feel for Jacks agent, when she got into that line of work she must have dreamed of barking "hold my calls" to a harassed PA as she ushered a bestselling author into her plush office for a catch up, where she'll be amongst the first to learn what their new bestseller is going to be about. Instead she's working from home in a plague waiting for Jack to assemble a pile of greasy paper scraps into something that can be passed off as a book. Knowing full well it will be riddled with errors, sell poorly and the "writer" will do bugger all to promote it. Worse still she can't challenge any of this because it will only lead to another performance of The Poverty with added references to autism, ADHD, Duke of Argyll's and assorted ouchies, so she sits at home waiting and waiting for something that resembles the contents of a serial killer's diary.
I really feel for Jacks agent, when she got into that line of work she must have dreamed of barking "hold my calls" to a harassed PA as she ushered a bestselling author into her plush office for a catch up, where she'll be amongst the first to learn what their new bestseller is going to be about. Instead she's working from home in a plague waiting for Jack to assemble a pile of greasy paper scraps into something that can be passed off as a book. Knowing full well it will be riddled with errors, sell poorly and the "writer" will do bugger all to promote it. Worse still she can't challenge any of this because it will only lead to another performance of The Poverty with added references to autism, ADHD, Duke of Argyll's and assorted ouchies, so she sits at home waiting and waiting for something that resembles the contents of a serial killer's diary.
Yeah nine days from a book deadline is a great time to pick up your knitting again.
[/QUOTE]
Forced out of house: 2/1
Burnout: 3/1
New campaign/hashtag takes over importance: 4/1
Ouchy finger: 4/1
Another illness requiring hospital treatment: 4/1
She left (again, again): 6/1
Bailiffs knock down door take recipes and cotswold furniture over unpaid mugs debt: 20/1
House fire from faulty toaster (never used) burning recipe notes: 25/1
Rug takes on life of its own and devours the house: 35/1
Long COVID: EvensI might resume my countdown now that we have a new extended deadline for the book. 9 days Jack. 9 days.
What calamity do we think will befall Jack in the next 9 days that will stop the poor thing from delivering on time? I think she will be decluttering her minimal and neat home and will fall and land on her hand, specifically the one she writes with.
Place your bets!
Forced out of house: 2/1
Burnout: 3/1
New campaign/hashtag takes over importance: 4/1
Ouchy finger: 4/1
Another illness requiring hospital treatment: 4/1
She left (again, again): 6/1
Bailiffs knock down door take recipes and cotswold furniture over unpaid mugs debt: 20/1
House fire from faulty toaster (never used) burning recipe notes: 25/1
Rug takes on life of its own and devours the house: 35/1
What even is this disgusting filth waffle?
fair play she’s actually been knitting it (not a square a day mind). I wonder if she saw us asking about it the other day and angrily spite knitted 6 more squares
Jack says she is at her desk ALREADY...at 11.10 am.
It was a gift/found in a muddle puddle/bequeathed from the estate of Vivienne Westwood/left on the doorstep by the Brambly Mice as a sacrificial gift
Also has that Cotswold-looking bedside table been spotted before?
She's knitting a square for every thrifty shades of beige Patreon backer who has received nothing, so she might be going a while
beige, boring, a bit crusty, unoriginal, looks like it would make me feel uncomfortable. Very true to Jack imo.
She’s done six squares of crappy knitting. Forensic memory Fraus, where was she up to last time? The audacity! Her publisher must be screaming into the void every day since taking her on, 9 days left and she’s pretending to effing knit. Mendacious fucker.
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury I wish it to be struck from the record, expeditiously, that I often sit reading Tattle when facing a massive deadline. This ain’t about me, guys
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury I wish it to be struck from the record, expeditiously, that I often sit reading Tattle when facing a massive deadline. This ain’t about me, guys
I can strongly relate to Jack’s chaotic work method, however I would rather die than reveal my manic, disorganised scrawling to the world, let alone if it exposed how last minute I am and was visible to my publisher. She does have ADHD traits but there is absolutely no way that they’re being medically managed.
I can’t believe that a squiggle is offering to bleeping TYPE UP her book. She is 32 and making a handsome living off her anthologies of wank - do these people hold her as some kind of figurehead for benign ineptitude in their minds?! She should do her own bloody work. (lol tho next time the editor of a book I’m contributing a chapter to gets in touch I might just send him a voicenote saying “what, [redacted publisher] don’t have someone to type this up for us?!”.
Welcome, @SlopAmbsase - you will lose faith in the world but the jokes are good. x
I can’t believe that a squiggle is offering to bleeping TYPE UP her book. She is 32 and making a handsome living off her anthologies of wank - do these people hold her as some kind of figurehead for benign ineptitude in their minds?! She should do her own bloody work. (lol tho next time the editor of a book I’m contributing a chapter to gets in touch I might just send him a voicenote saying “what, [redacted publisher] don’t have someone to type this up for us?!”.
Welcome, @SlopAmbsase - you will lose faith in the world but the jokes are good. x
Wasn't it supposed to be one square for every day she stays sober?She’s done six squares of crappy knitting. Forensic memory Fraus, where was she up to last time? The audacity! Her publisher must be screaming into the void every day since taking her on, 9 days left and she’s pretending to effing knit. Mendacious fucker.
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury I wish it to be struck from the record, expeditiously, that I often sit reading Tattle when facing a massive deadline. This ain’t about me, guys
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