Jack Monroe #139 Paging Dr Monroe

[SlopAmbsase]

Hello!

I'm an angry vegan squiqqle and have spent the last couple of days reading here since a kind fellow squiqqle urged me to have a forensic google. As seems common, I was generally kindly disposed to Jack (Katie Hopkins case, popping up in the Guardian etc) until I came across a lot of vegan community anger and disappointment around Vegan-ish (bleurgh). Then I heard her on a James O'Brien podcast (not the current one, this one went out over a year ago, I think) and the whole narrative started to feel really inconsistent and odd. She started to remind me of a grabby, narc-y ex-friend at the same time I started noticing the disappearing tweets. I avoided her until she started popping up re the FSM news and then the Linda McCartney Insta posts were my last straw, especially hearing about the disgusting and criminal animal abuse.

Reading here has been an absolute shocker. I love the support and kindness and the clever in jokes but am horrified by her absolute cuntiness. I've also nearly thrown up reading about the hoarded sardine oil, the rug of biological horror and crowd sourcing recipes for the latest book (10 days until deadline, WTAF???). Has this been a particularly busy week for demented fuckery or is it really always like this? The mental picture I have of her house is like those crime scene photos of Jeffrey Dahmer's apartment but with more ceramic unicorn tat. I'm also really sad about the idea that she might have a rabbit held hostage in her garage.

Hopefully I've got the spoilers right and I'm not abusing the amazing Jack coping language you've created ('squiggle', 'slop' and 'forensic' make me howl). I am looking forward to hanging out with you all and really hope more squiggles have had their eyes opened to this horrible, cynical woman.

 

[MancBee]

Helo all, I needed a break when all the FSM stuff was going on. Thanks to all you lovely ninnies that showed concern by sending messages. When I looked again at tattle last night, the DM's were a lovely surprise. Contrary to Jack's suggestion that everyone here are nasty, trolling bullies, you are all wonderful caring people.

I did consider mentioning that I was leaving, but realised that tattle isn't an airport. (Though at most airports they no longer announce departures or arrivals. Jack once again showing how she has her finger on the pulse of current practice). Sorry if anyone was worried by my disappearance, I shouldn't have taken any notice of a Jackism and just mentioned I was taking a break.

I have met many people like Roadside Mum in both my professional and private life. They have a legitimate grievance but when it is acknowledged they are never happy with a reasonable solution. They think that they are being assertive, but they go too far, become aggressive abusive and vexatious. They say they are "strong women" or "strong men" but in reality they are just uncooperative, obstinate, nasty people who are never satisfied with a sensible solution. That combined with Jack shit stirring in the background was the perfect combination to tip me over the edge.

Then Jack stuck her neb in to make her front and centre of a campaign that was nothing to do with her, instead of giving those affected support and a platform. On top of this, it was Jack that profited from a campaign that was not hers, writing articles, TV appearances and making money off the backs of those that truly were affected. This had me screeching, howling and clawing at the floor with anger.

During my many, many years of LGBT equality campaigning, one of the most frustrating things was non LGBT people trying to take over instead of showing support. Just as Jack has done with the FSM campaign. There is nothing more annoying than having your campaign hijacked by someone not directly involved.

Anyway, I am now back, but have decided not to read the past week's goings on, as I would no doubt want to comment on issues that are now concluded.

Thanks again for all the lovely, supportive, caring messages. You have made this past year bearable in what has been almost constant lockdown here "Up North"

Sorry (not really) for the long post.

 

[Cariad]

my daughter taught herself how to crochet during lockdown watching YouTube videos 1 and completed this marvellous blanket ( see photo below) just before Christmas....she's dyspraxic and dyslexic, so no mean feat
View attachment 396480

View attachment 396480

My daughter taught herself how to crochet during lockdown 1, by watching YouTube videos...she completed this beautiful blanket just before Christmas ....no mean feat for someone who's dyslexic and dyspraxic and has hyper mobility

 

[Winthropp Tuesday]

Grunking from previous thread.
She didn't know Marilyn Monroe was called Norma Jean?
Really Jack?
Elton John literally wrote a song about it.
Idiot woman.

“And it seemed to me, she lived her life like a grifter with a tin...”

 

[Silver Linings]

 

[girolle]

Not to me-rail here but thought you'd all understand. I've just received a rejection for a job that I really wanted. The company initially took two months to get back to me to tell me I'd been shortlisted and, after completing a recruitment exercise, made me wait another six weeks before the dreaded 'no, thanks' email. I'm not quite clawing the carpet and crying into the cat but just wanted to share with some kind souls who would understand the frustration!

 

[Marj24]

Have had a bit of a self awareness epiphany regarding how triggered I feel about her treatment of her son.


I lost my eldest son to leukaemia at SBs age. I don't think JM appreciates how lucky she is to have a sweet and healthy boy. As I am also blessed with a younger son (now grown up) I know that the clock is probably ticking on how long he wants to please his mum (mama). Soon he will return from school, grunt and disappear to his room, emerging to empty the contents of the fridge. He is also likely to be less tolerant of the slop he is offered. He will come back but it will take a few years...I may be wrong as I am not a narc and the poor boy is undoubtedly walking on egg shells but want to say enjoy him while you can you ungrateful b.

 

[waffle maker]

If you have an Aldi near you, their vegan sausage rolls are lovely, would recommend

Like Jack I am unable to use Aldi. She is a snob and I have a 52 hour car journey through several war zones to my nearest branch in Macedonia.

 

[silverBirch21]

At last I’ve arrived in the present!
Another new member here, been lurking for the past 2-3 weeks - which felt like months in Jack time - and been reading through the last 20 or so threads and #31.
I’ve been aware of Jack for the past few years since her early blogging years and all the following blagging years. For the past year I’ve becoming increasingly horrified by everything she does, particularly the kitten episode and the particularly galling ’have I got burn-out phase?’
There appears to be nothing she will not say or tweet about in order to get the squiggles fawning over her or to tick a box in order to reel-in new demographics. The list is huge:
The Poverty, food bank user, working class, fire service, military round the edges, single-motherhood, tattoos,disordered eating, self-harm, sex worker, abuse, lesbian, non-binary, politics - soft left, hard left, centrist, green, brexiter/remainer, friend of blue-ticks, veggie, vegan, meat eater, angry, twee, sad, food allergies - various (and variable), floofy cat pictures, heath and mental health issues - far too many to mention. Oh I nearly forgot the ’cooking’.
I guess many of us started following her because we became aware of her existence through an interest in one or more of the items on this list, became disillusioned, and then stayed because of The CHAOS.
I actually think her only real USP is now the chaos.
So glad to have found this cabal after a now deleted mention on a well-known forum, just pleased to know there are others who see through all the cringe-making nonsense.

 

[hydeist]

Alright own up, which one of you is brendabumhole<squigglednumbers> ?

 

[MancBee]

I had a little think about Jack and her origin story and when you actually look at it, the way she behaves now has it's roots long before "the poverty".

Jack grew up believing the false narrative that people on benefits have it easy. She believed the trope that single mothers get free houses, money thrown at them, free food, and get everything for doing nothing. She was taken in by all the right wing lies and thought her life as a stay at home single mum would be just peachy. I wonder if this is the sort of bullshit that was bandied about at home, with reference to the parents of the children they fostered.

She walked away from her well paid job because she thought she would get money for nothing. It came as a shock when she was confronted with the reality, that life as an unemployed single mum is not easy, it is really difficult. She couldn't get over the reality of what it was truly like. That is why it hit her so hard. She is still shocked that the right wing lies were not true. She feels betrayed by those people she believed growing up. (it could even explain why she was reluctant to ask for their help)

It is why "the poverty", as short lived as it was, still defines her to this day. It was not what she was led to believe would happen.

Off to have a quick skim of the last few pages.

 

[kachoochoo]

haha! the mean old tattlers said I wouldn't get on with the knitting! I'll show them!

meanwhile...

I mean, it'll be the post office's fault ofc

 

[BlendedSlop]

JFC, those Twitter posts.

"I've always been a crafter, ever since I was forced to make and mend my own clothes while my parents saw fit to devote their meagre salaries to the various feral foster children they took in. In later years, during my time as a single mum on benefits, I'd use the skills I'd acquired to rig Home Alone-style traps using old tin cans to scare off the marauding bailiffs whenever they'd start beating on my door with their nail bats and crowbars. Although these are useful life skills to have, they were born from a mendacious necessity that still sends me scuttling behind one of my many sideboards at the sound of a royalty cheque being pushed through the letterbox. Every knock at the door sees me clawing at the ground, roaring, gnashing, wailing, a hollow howling husk no amount of novelty mugs can soothe. Every time the phone rings, I'm instantly transported back to the dank, December afternoon when I sold my last lightbulb, then sat on the bare floor of my unfurnished rented hovel, ceremoniously rubbing the last two pennies I had together in the vain hope that the friction would create a spark to light the solitary cake candle I'd managed to hide down my sock when the last of my possessions had been mendaciously seized. The scars from that period of my life run deep, still gaping, oozing a blackness no number of Patreons can penetrate, exposing my soft softy soft soft innards to the countless vicious vultures, ever circling, ever hungry. Anyway, here's how to make a rolling pin out of an old dildo and a couple of elastic bands."

 

[crystaleyesd]

The amount of work our maverick has gotten done by midday:

Says it all really...

(and way to give everyone your wifi password you utter spanner)

 

[SlopAmbsase]

Thanks for the lovely welcome! You are all so very funny Dear Hearts. Unlike JM, I did my research before I published, so I've read the infamous thread 31 (PISS AND A SANDWICH ), covered all the recaps (does @Pocahontas have a Patreon page?) and gone forensic where time has allowed (I am occassionally BUSY!). I have a habit of going down rabbit holes when it comes to dark, sinister things and the life and times of JM ticks many of these boxes, although she does make me angrier than most.

I've given up on getting a response from the Linda M people - I left comments and complained directly but us vegan squigs are capable of holding grudges that rival JMs to THAT MAN so it won't be forgotten about easily.

 

[pssst!]

Hi! I've just joined and have some serious catching up to do so apologise if I spam you all with likes. See you all again in, shall we say five weeks time? Now fuck off. I'm busy!

 

[Fruitjack]

I've mentioned it before but I've been a recipe tester for lots and lots of cookbook writers. They're all quite well known in vegan circles, one very well known, but they don't have the big publishing clout that people like Jamie or Nigella do where it's probably done more scientifically. The authors I've tested for develop a recipe and probably make it a few times before putting it out to us, on a closed forum. We testers are generally a reasonably sized group from different parts of the world. We are armed with oven thermometers and clocks. We give back lots of info - a really really common mistake is to include an ingredient in the list but not say what to do with it. I line up all my ingredients on one side then I can see if there are any left. We ask about substitutes if something is not commonly available where we live. We take a note of cooking times and temperatures. We discuss portion size. We do say whether we like something or not but we acknowledge the difference between personal taste and recipe failure. We say how long it took us to make. It's a really long process. If a recipe hasn't worked for testers it's common to put out 3 or 4 more times - more common in baking. It most certainly isn't done off scraps of paper.

Side note: There is one author who has a few books and none of her recipes have been properly tested or edited because there are so many mistakes. I prefaced my comment with saying how much I liked the ideas and flavours but that the publishers could do to look at it. She was ULTRA snippy with me so I no longer buy or recommend her books.

Huge

 

[Lumpyspaceprincess]

My thrift tip is to pretend to be poor online and then get people to send you money.
Also to set up an online system where people pay you for goods, but don’t send them out, just keep the money and say you fell over, it’s illegal to post things, you lost the use of your legs (unless buying chips), you can’t be arsed... or anything else.

 

[Peeky_Mink]

Hey fraus,

Just felt that no one had heard the word "anchoïade" for a while.

You're welcome.

 

[jenny2603]

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Yeah nine days from a book deadline is a great time to pick up your knitting again.