Jack Monroe #138 Jack Monroe MBE

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LittleMissMuffet

LittleMissMuffet

Chatty Member
Harrybosch said:
Jack took her surname from her mother's side of the family. Nothing to do with Marilyn. However, her hot takes on Marilyn and her photo evidence are only 60 odd years too late.
#fingeronthepulse
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I seeeeee. Jealous she has a cool name in her family. Mine are just ethels and smiths.
 
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Charitas

Charitas

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jenny2603 said:
Apart from all that it's going really well. Looking forward to Veganuary 2021 already.
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TheDragonWithAFlagon said:
Another thing I can witter on about to my heart's content - from wayyyyyy before Kyoto and Brazil. (Nearer Vienna and Montreal - yes, I'm bloody old).

Especially the greenwashing - like microfibreplastic cloths and silicone bags which will outlast any plastic by quite a few fucking thousand years and are non recyclable.

The most environmentally friendly way to act is NOT TO BUY POINTLESS SHIT ALL THE TIME BECAUSE YOU GET A BUZZ OUT OF IT. I don't care if it makes fully grown women go SQWEEEEEE like they're about 8 years old and have seen a chick hatch for the first time, that isn't enough reason to have thirty mugs you can't even drink out of, ten sideboards, plastic wallpaper and three freezers. And putting things into glass containers for Insta shots just means that the plastic bottles they came in are stuffed in the recycling bin out back - so they've doubled their consumption to pretend to be consuming less.

I studied this shit extensively. And nearly got into a lot of trouble for one submission where I pointed out all the vested interests in and around the labour government of the time (and might have declared that carbon offsetting was the ecological equivalent of a papal indulgence in one particularly tense tutorial, much to the horror of the trustafarians on the course); the tutor suggested that I printed all my work rather than submitting it electronically, as there were suspicions that various people were infiltrating environmental courses and organisations. The lecturer wasn't wrong.
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Grunking at mo' but all of this. Not the tutor bit it's all price of everything and value of nothing and capitalist solutions for all. Have also used the papal indulgence simile
 
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E

emm

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Pocahontas said:
Congratulations to this trio of floofles: @jenny2603 @gracebevsescapingboobs and @SoulRebel for the thread title! 🎉 your prize: a bowl of the curried rice creation. It’s like gravel in a bowl.


Recap of thread #137

  1. Hot Take Jack says those tiktok quesadillas aren’t much cop.
  2. SB drew a ‘floofle’ for her because she’s ‘all tough and stuff’, which was then immortalised into a smol robot thing.
  3. She made some curried rice and a bowl of wonder. Aesthetic for both: jumbled junk on tin.
  4. She was briefly Jack Monroe MBE, before being stripped of the honour.
  5. Joe Biden calmly, gently became president so she hugged her telly.
  6. [*]
    For new joiners to the thread, here is @Passive_Aggressive_Lemon ‘s ‘Jack for Dummies’ post (edited to include updated info):

    Thought it might be useful for new followers to have a post at the start of each thread with some info.
    Limegoss article about Jack versus Jamie Oliver : https://limegoss.com/jack-monroe-jamie-oliver/

    Thread #31 is the infamous one in which Jack turns up to talk to us directly. She makes her appearance on p. 17.

    For anyone wanting to relive the glory days of her two-week stint on Daily Kitchen Live (DKL), have a grunk a through threads 2-9.

    *** JACKISMS ***

    Jack’s most oft-used reply to questions on recipe substitutions:

    Yes, absolutely x

    Some other favourite Jack quotes:

    ‘Babe, same’
    ‘I did a chaos’
    ‘My maverick brain’
    ‘My sad little face’
    ‘I’m BUSY’
    ‘I HOOTED / I am FIZZING’
    ‘I laughed up a lung’

    ** NEW **
    ‘Literally hella embarrassed AF’ about ‘Brexit and flip-flopping Covid flippancy’ and she ‘didn’t even vote for it’.

    She likes to describe herself as ‘puppyishly honest and naively enthusiastic’

    As of late November 2020, Jack conceded she is not poor, but living to a budget as she is saving for a forever home for her and SB.

    *****

    One of Jack’s followers once referred to Tattlers as sad hausfraus and Jack herself has likened us to a cabal. Therefore we have become the Cabal of Hausfraus™️. She also recently referred to us as ‘gossip mavens’ (so, we are gossip trusted experts). ** Recent additions to her terms of endearment for Tattle: conspiracy wankers, obsessive groups of completely unhinged bullies, bullying ninnies, and malign, vicious bullies **

    To ‘GrunkaLunka’ your way through a thread means to catch up on posts. Named after a member who rather epically caught up on many threads in a short period of time (and is also a fearless pioneer of the space-time continuum. She really was here both Now and Then).

    Jack once threatened to use her Liam Neeson skills to TRIANGULATE our whereabouts in order to intimidate us, so that’s what we mean by that. * She may also threaten to take us to court - do not be afraid, this is not the first time and it won’t be the last. *

    Jack once sideboard modelled a Vivienne Westwood dress, seeming to infer that it’s what Viv would have wanted (as if she were dead), and then got snippy when corrected otherwise. There may be some ‘RIP Viv’ jokes (she is, of course, NOT dead)

    We sometimes joke about being on Vladimir Putin’s bitcoin payroll list for being evil trolls.

    During her stint on Daily Kitchen Live, Jack produced a godawful looking lasagne, with a thin white sauce that never thickened up, just disappeared. It was widely likened to ‘horse spunk’ - there may be some horse ‘spirit’ lasagne jokes.

    Her last-uttered line to Matt Tebutt on DKL was: ‘Thank you so Matt much, Matt’, which made us all HOOT.

    Jack ended a tweet that listed her (not unimpressive) four-and-a-half GCSE results (A*, A, B, B, C) with: ‘Now fuck off’. We sometimes like to use this in our own posts for comedic effect. We are NOT telling other fraus to fuck off, simply paying homage to Jack’s own genteel humour.

    *Back in the mists of time, one funny frau used a Jimmy Nail ‘She’s Lying’ picture to illustrate their thoughts on one of Jack’s latest tales. @Alpha Beta thought it was Novak Djokovic, the cabal hooted and Novak Nail was born. You may see reference to Jimmy Nail, Novak Djokovic, or the combination of both: Novak Nail. All demonstrate that she’s lying.*

    Also:
    • She grew up in a 5-bed (mortgaged/owned) house
    • She got a £4.5k Omega watch for her 21st birthday
    • Her dad's a fucking LANDLORD (an oldy, but a goody)
    • Jack and Louisa are no longer in a relationship - in Jack’s words: ‘She [Louisa] left’.
    • ** NEW ** However, during Lockdown 2 (November 2020), a bubble buddy, ‘buddle’ (BB) came to stay with Jack. BB is pescatarian, cycles 200 miles a week, and works in London. Jack is teaching her to cook, while also using her as a figure of gentle ridicule. She cannot cook, she cannot iron, she cannot clean the television properly, she left the hose out and it got eaten by a fox, and she doesn’t know the difference between wet and dry ingredients.
    • Her record for staying off Twitter since the start of these threads is 114 hours and 47 minutes.
    • She is 90% vegan. The other 10% likes to nom nom on Five Guys burger and discounted chicken slices.
    • During her appearance on DKL, she was asked why some mince has a higher fat content. ‘It just does.’
    • The information held on her by Companies House has her year of birth WRONG. She was born in 1988, not 1978.
    • She recently claimed she found her Burberry scarf in a muddy puddle.
    [*][*]
    Use the pink link tab at the top of the thread to find Jack’s Tattle Wiki page, where you will find all episodes of Daily Kitchen Live.

    We are terrible for going off on tangents and using too many gifs, so there is another thread where we don’t discuss JM but instead talk about biscuits and stuff. For good light relief when JM is doing too much chaos, come to the Food & Drink threads in Off Topic.

    • Lastly, but importantly, when submitting ideas for the next thread title, please use the words ‘thread title’, as it makes it easier to search. Just using the number won’t be enough. We also can’t have swears in the title, and try to hold off until around p. 40 for your suggestions, if possible. ThankYOU.
    [*][*][*]
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as usual I am only reading recaps now, but number 3 is hysterical! as usual amazing work @Pocahontas
 
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R

Readingismyhobby

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Walkdengirl said:
It's was a thing that poor people did so they didn't have bare floors. My mum made them as a child, as did my mother in law.

An old sack and worn out clothes, and something to act as a hook to get the fabric pushed through so you could knot it. They made them in winter when there was nothing else to do in an evening. My mum had electric lighting, my mother in law worked by candle light!

(nb. I am northern, I'm from lancashire, mil was Yorkshire)
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My grampy made them from old sacks and cut up clothes. He was from Cardiff.
 
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Into_the_tunnel

Into_the_tunnel

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HotesTilaire said:
Bling Empire? Completed it last week, mate. Not sure why it’s such a “guilty pleasure” I love that style of scripted reality!

That and the vegan uprising...
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Now I feel guilty for making it out to be a guilty pleasure. 🤐

Jack man, she really knows how to make you tie yourself in knots.
 
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Captainmouse

Captainmouse

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traumatised sideboard said:
Sorry for not saving all my podcast comments for one big post, I got carried away with the ridiculous claims I was hearing in that awful nasal tremulous voice we have all come to love. There is one more anecdote from Isn't Jack Monroe Great: The Podcast I would like to share.

Did we know about the bailiffs being round four years ago in the middle of the Katie Hopkins trial? She says that she wasn't being paid her book royalties which resulted in the bailiffs came and when they saw her six-year-old son, crouched down and asked where his dad was. Her son said his dad was picking him up later so the bailiff said something to the effect of 'say goodbye to mummy then, you won't be seeing her again because she's going to prison for not paying her bills'. I wish someone would put her in prison. An actual prison, not Ruby Rose stand-in prison.

Right near the end when discussing her 'work' (pissing about) on Twitter, James O'Brien says she's underestimating her own importance. Hahahahaha. K.

I'm going to lie down now.
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Bib that is one thing she never does!
 
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Emmapism

Emmapism

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I have a Ghostbusters mug that I got from Halloween Horror Nights pre-pandemic. It's tacky and wonderful BUT it's my personal mug. I have two sets that are plain for guests and general use. I couldn't abide having them all mismatched.
 
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