Jack Monroe #129 Jack, could we have a quick chat?

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Has she really claimed to have been expelled without her parents ever finding out? And this tiny, insignificant detail has never, in the hundreds of retellings, found its way into her legendary origin story? I smell something, and it isn't Linda McCartney. In six months time we'll probably have heard 11 different versions of the expulsion and she'll have spent a year in Borstal.

Also, what was ceremonial about it? Did the headteacher don a mitre and burn incense? Was there some kind of altar involved?

I'm also trying to imagine how Jack would put her own unique spin on the National Curriculum if she pursued her backup plan (I thought that was working in a supermarket?) of teaching the next generation of pay pigs.

English: the collected writings of Jack Monroe

Maths: £20 shops, sideboard costings and crappy bungalow rent calculations

PE: water rowing and bodybuilding (Pescetarian)

Drama: howling and clawing workshops, the annual school production of I, Jack Monroe

Geography: all the places Jack Monroe hasn't been on holiday

Etc...
 
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Does anybody think these private school Oxbridge news people just thought that her scampering off to bleeping AUSCHWITZ to scribble in one of her little notebooks about the rise of the far-right was ridiculous, not the idea that it was happening.
As per usual she didn't want to write that story, she wanted praise for her insightfulness, bravery, intelligence etc etc, and was pissed off when it didn't happen (if all she said even happened).

If she had really wanted to write that story, why didn't she do it?

Also, isn't it hilarious that on those stories she portrays herself as an important voice that needs to be heard, when in real exchanges on social media (i.e when she has the chance to call out someone or confront them), she'll hide behind 'just bring someone who writes about tinned food'
 
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I just find even her name exhausting. It's like I read Jack Monroe and take a deep breath because I know it's going to be annoying. 😂
 
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Even back in the 70s, when the husband actually was expelled they called his dad down to the school.
I went to school in the 80s through to the early 90s. If we got lines our parents had to sign them so the teacher knew they'd seen them. There is absolutely no way anyone would be suspended or expelled from school without their parents being informed. Legally parents are responsible for ensuring their child is educated so I really don't see how the school can expel someone without telling them. Let's face it, who would actually tell their parents they'd been expelled if they could get away with lying.
 
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Has she really claimed to have been expelled without her parents ever finding out? And this tiny, insignificant detail has never, in the hundreds of retellings, found its way into her legendary origin story? I smell something, and it isn't Linda McCartney. In six months time we'll probably have heard 11 different versions of the expulsion and she'll have spent a year in Borstal.

Also, what was ceremonial about it? Did the headteacher don a mitre and burn incense? Was there some kind of altar involved?

I'm also trying to imagine how Jack would put her own unique spin on the National Curriculum if she pursued her backup plan (I thought that was working in a supermarket?) of teaching the next generation of pay pigs.

English: the collected writings of Jack Monroe

Maths: £20 shops, sideboard costings and crappy bungalow rent calculations

PE: water rowing and bodybuilding (Pescetarian)

Drama: howling and clawing workshops, the annual school production of I, Jack Monroe

Geography: all the places Jack Monroe hasn't been on holiday

Etc...
I think she imagine her ceremoniously expulsion to be like a final scene from Danny the champion of the world with scenes unfolding of the headteacher giving her a bollocking and her giving back some witty retort with the whole school squeezed into his office cheering her on with tears in their eyes as they lift her above their heads and carry out of the school and into the setting sun.....

Reality she got a bollocking, her ma was called and she was grounded for a few weeks and nobody apart from her few friends cared.
 
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I went to school in the 80s through to the early 90s. If we got lines our parents had to sign them so the teacher knew they'd seen them. There is absolutely no way anyone would be suspended or expelled from school without their parents being informed. Legally parents are responsible for ensuring their child is educated so I really don't see how the school can expel someone without telling them. Let's face it, who would actually tell their parents they'd been expelled if they could get away with lying.
Same here. I skived off school once when I tried to join the rougher kids for self preservation reasons. I got so scared about what my parents would say, so I went back to school to get the school bus home. I then knew the school would tell my parents, so I told my dad myself, crying hysterically. He was so proud of my honesty, he wouldn't let mum tell me off AND he wrote a letter to the school saying I'd been ill. 🤪
 
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So, while the thread has moved on I have only just looked at the greek pasta ingredients.

She uses mozzarella from Asda, and instructs to add the sliced mozzarella to the dish. However the only vegan mozzarella I find on their website is grated. Surely if you'd made this dish you would realise this? (I see their non vegan mozz is sold in slices)
 
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So, while the thread has moved on I have only just looked at the greek pasta ingredients.

She uses mozzarella from Asda, and instructs to add the sliced mozzarella to the dish. However the only vegan mozzarella I find on their website is grated. Surely if you'd made this dish you would realise this? (I see their non vegan mozz is sold in slices)
My brother went veggie once, but still ate sausage sandwiches. Some veggies eat fish. Maybe she thinks this is how it works. 🤔
 
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She stole a scalpel?

What happens there is that the teacher absolutely freaks out. They count and recount. They go through the class list. They check the locked risk items procedure. They try to stop their heart bursting from terror and panic. And then they have to tell their line manager/SLT, knowing that this is very possibly the end of their teaching career. Every child who is known to be a little explosive is looked at in terms of whether they had access to them. The teacher probably goes home and doesn't sleep, tortured by what is going to happen to them and what might happen to another child or a member of staff. Everybody's on edge, any disagreements on site are jumped on because nobody knows if they're going to end up with a kid or colleague having her face or neck slashed or stabbed in the heart/leg/brachial artery; a scalpel is easily long enough to murder somebody - and without realising the seriousness of the wound until they collapse and die. Whoever is responsible for detention or isolation has to consider the possibility that one of the children is carrying an absolutely brutal weapon. Because there is one out there somewhere. The teacher has to contact their union to say what has happened and the union will say that if something happens, it's very possible that this will end up in their dismissal unless they can prove it wasn't their fault - which is very hard to do if they were not counted out and counted back in. The Art/Science/DT teacher probably lost their entire career for it, as no other school will take them on after that - and what teacher can walk into a job outside a classroom after 30 years, saying 'I was fired for failing safeguarding procedures'?


I've had colleagues - friends - fired for exactly this. In both cases, the kids concerned were permanently expelled and didn't get to take any exams. An innocent child on the receiving end of one also left school and didn't take any exams because of the danger/trauma/aftermath of it happening. Every single child ever found with a weapon on site in my career has been removed permanently from school. Even back in the dark ages when I was a teenager and got stabbed in school, the girl who did it was permanently removed.


No wonder they bleeping banned her from the site (they didn't expel her, or she wouldn't have been able to go back in and take any exams). She should count herself lucky that they let her do that - they could have called the police, who would have taken it utterly seriously as she was in possession of an offensive weapon and even all these years later, it would still result in permanent removal from school without the slightest bit of recourse to the Governors. As it was, they probably said that in view of the risk carrying a weapon involves, nobody was prepared to teach her and it was best that she stay at home. Rather than getting the girl from the Good Family a criminal record. Shame, really - this meant that somebody not psychologically equipped to take fire service emergency calls was employed when they should have instantly failed all checks.



When her child goes to secondary school next year, will she be happy to think that he could be in a class where somebody has stolen a scalpel? 'Oh, they must have been dared to do it, just a joke, or it must be for SH, nothing to worry about'? That kid sitting behind him, the one that knows all about his mother and for various reasons, such as horrible parents, trauma, MH issues, doesn't like SB? He's sitting behind SB thinking how much he dislikes the poor kid. Guess what, Jack - he's stolen a scalpel. It's in his pocket and there's only a short time until the end of class when they're all crammed up against one another in the corridor. Still OK with it?




She is a bleep now and, it would appear if this story is true, an absolute danger to everybody else in school as a kid. But hey, funny story, right?
 
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I’m supposed to be marking essays but the more I think about this scalpel thing it makes me wonder if it happened to one of the foster kids not her. I have no evidence for this apart from the origin of the story being from a massive liar, this part of the story would surely be mentioned one of the 50000 times her GCSEs came up. She might say she is protecting the identity of the actual scalpel thief?

Ditto everything @TheDragonWithAFlagon says about procedure. Sorry all those things have happened to you Dragon. I want to say that I wish Jack could read what you have put so well, but I don’t think it would make a blind bit of difference if she did.
 
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if she does it full time she can start her plan B in about 4 1/2 years of full time hard work. Better get moving Jack.
HA this is great. I know it’s been said, but it’s so incredibly insulting to people who are working really bleeping hard at the moment to describe their hard-earned career as your ‘plan b’.
I can just imagine her scampering up to a school and declaring them the luckiest ever because Jack Monroe has decided to dedicate themselves, 38 hours a day, to teaching, because ~THAT~ ‘dried up’. Qualifications?!!! I’m just a smol scampering bean rinser, me, but you all put trump in the White House so I can’t see why I’m not qualified ffs 🙄

EDIT: *working really bleeping hard (not just!!) at the moment
 
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She stole a scalpel?

What happens there is that the teacher absolutely freaks out. They count and recount. They go through the class list. They check the locked risk items procedure. They try to stop their heart bursting from terror and panic. And then they have to tell their line manager/SLT, knowing that this is very possibly the end of their teaching career. Every child who is known to be a little explosive is looked at in terms of whether they had access to them. The teacher probably goes home and doesn't sleep, tortured by what is going to happen to them and what might happen to another child or a member of staff. Everybody's on edge, any disagreements on site are jumped on because nobody knows if they're going to end up with a kid or colleague having her face or neck slashed or stabbed in the heart/leg/brachial artery; a scalpel is easily long enough to murder somebody - and without realising the seriousness of the wound until they collapse and die. Whoever is responsible for detention or isolation has to consider the possibility that one of the children is carrying an absolutely brutal weapon. Because there is one out there somewhere. The teacher has to contact their union to say what has happened and the union will say that if something happens, it's very possible that this will end up in their dismissal unless they can prove it wasn't their fault - which is very hard to do if they were not counted out and counted back in. The Art/Science/DT teacher probably lost their entire career for it, as no other school will take them on after that - and what teacher can walk into a job outside a classroom after 30 years, saying 'I was fired for failing safeguarding procedures'?


I've had colleagues - friends - fired for exactly this. In both cases, the kids concerned were permanently expelled and didn't get to take any exams. An innocent child on the receiving end of one also left school and didn't take any exams because of the danger/trauma/aftermath of it happening. Every single child ever found with a weapon on site in my career has been removed permanently from school. Even back in the dark ages when I was a teenager and got stabbed in school, the girl who did it was permanently removed.


No wonder they bleeping banned her from the site (they didn't expel her, or she wouldn't have been able to go back in and take any exams). She should count herself lucky that they let her do that - they could have called the police, who would have taken it utterly seriously as she was in possession of an offensive weapon and even all these years later, it would still result in permanent removal from school without the slightest bit of recourse to the Governors. As it was, they probably said that in view of the risk carrying a weapon involves, nobody was prepared to teach her and it was best that she stay at home. Rather than getting the girl from the Good Family a criminal record. Shame, really - this meant that somebody not psychologically equipped to take fire service emergency calls was employed when they should have instantly failed all checks.



When her child goes to secondary school next year, will she be happy to think that he could be in a class where somebody has stolen a scalpel? 'Oh, they must have been dared to do it, just a joke, or it must be for SH, nothing to worry about'? That kid sitting behind him, the one that knows all about his mother and for various reasons, such as horrible parents, trauma, MH issues, doesn't like SB? He's sitting behind SB thinking how much he dislikes the poor kid. Guess what, Jack - he's stolen a scalpel. It's in his pocket and there's only a short time until the end of class when they're all crammed up against one another in the corridor. Still OK with it?




She is a bleep now and, it would appear if this story is true, an absolute danger to everybody else in school as a kid. But hey, funny story, right?
As a former teacher who this could have happened to (🔺) and who taught in a subject where accidents regularly could have occurred, your post is bang on.

If anything happens like this in schools, when I mentioned the safeguarding procedures, EVERYTHING would be covered.... teachers, parents, peers, and teachers again as to why this scalpel was stolen and what allowed it to be stolen.

Even now I am getting stressed about all the near misses that occurred in my career.

She is dangerous.

ETA and duck off to teaching being your bleeping plan b. I gave it my all and it has ruined me 😞.
 
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Sure, sure. I imagine it was absolutely the policy of schools in Southend to leave up to the child who had been expelled the job of telling a parent that their child had been expelled. There are absolutely no holes in this story. None at all.
Roll eyes roll eyes roll eyes
 
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AF39F46D-71DB-447B-843C-C2A4DC017B1F.jpeg


I see that Breakdown magazine has been getting advice from Lady-doctors.

No 20 minute article from Jack yet though?
 
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As an ex special school teacher (🔺), it really grinds my gears when people say they might ‘fall back on’ teaching. I spent 4 years at uni to become a teacher, not piss about on Twitter 16 hours a day. Not to be a Jack but I graduated and passed my PGCE while commuting 2-3 hours a day and having a baby at the end of my first year, making it even more of an achievement. Teaching itself is bleeping hard, hence why I’m now retraining in something else.

I’ve just had a rant on Facebook about how teachers are seen as glorified babysitters in this country. Their qualifications, professional judgment and all consuming commitment to other people’s children is dismissed. Jack saying she might one day ‘fall back’ on it like it’s picking up a few evening shifts in Tesco is bleeping annoying. Does anyone say they’ll fall back on nursing? Being a solicitor? Detective? No, just babysitting teaching. And sorry Jack, you would not make a good teacher in a PRU just because you stole a scalpel (in your imagination) 17 years ago.
 
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Expelled yet still took her exams. Suspended then? Or just shite?
Got an after school detention for nicking the whiteboard pens on a dare is my bet, just Jackified. I’d believe she could cover up an AS from her parents, while also thinking she was only able to because she was super sneaky stealth Monroe.
 
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