TBH all I want today is for Rishi Sunak to tweet complaining that he's been waiting 3 months for his first weekly set of beige recipe cards...
Jack Monroe #128 Just eat the custard
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Her agent having to use Twitter to get in touch with her 
Hooo boy! What a grunka! Thought I was never going to get to the end. She's really outdone herself, hasn't she? Her agent wanting a word is the perfect way to end my morning's reading
Nah, reckon it'll be to tell Jack she's finally made it to the office and that it's stuffed so full of post she can't get to her desk! Donations! Letters of gratitude! Endless bleeping shopping trollies! Poor ickle Jack can finally get back on her feet
. It's a ruddy miracle!
This is something I’ve never understood about her, most houses require some sort of work. Realistically the sorts of houses she’s looking for (expensive and big lol) will be a mixture of older parents looking to downsize because the kids have left or probate properties where the owners have died, so require a degree of modernisation. It’s a poorly thought out grift tbh
'Quick chat' are the two most terrifying words coming from a superior or employer.
Maybe they want rid of the non designer trolley the squiggle sent, that’s still squatting in the office
omg this is embarrassing. How many calls and emails has Jack ignored for her agent to contact her publicly through twitter? I would die
This is like when ur boss WhatsApps u cos you’re airing their slacks / skiving
ya caught me hun 
Furious deleting and backpedaling to begin in 5...4...3...2...1... (or as soon as she's had her 11th dino nap)
Extraordinary that her agent has had to tweet her in public like that.
"So Jack, I still have a shopping trolley here for you, which I'm going to courier to your house. And also, you're off the books. Byeeee."
it really is the perfect twist that no one saw comingHooo boy! What a grunka! Thought I was never going to get to the end. She's really outdone herself, hasn't she? Her agent wanting a word is the perfect way to end my morning's reading
Once again I thank god for these threads, without which all these moments would be lost in time, like tears in the rain.
I really need to be working but I'm flicking between the virtual office and here like a sad loon...and I actually do need to earn money by typing words for a living, unlike that THAT BOLSHY BAKED BEAN BLOGGER.
I'm thinking about setting a twitter alert so that I can be notified next time she tweets!
“Later that day, Veronicaaa’s phone exploded through over exertion”
Nope, spoke too soon. She's on it. And it's yet another world problem that she thinks she can solve. We all saw this last night, when it happened, but you were too busy with your frenzy of woe. Calm down dear.
Rishi, my pesto's gone mouldy in the fridge. Where's my help!
Was it only yesterday I was enjoying the innocent times of 24 hours in police custardy?
It'll be pinging non stop once she starts, drive you bonkers
I'm sitting at my desk alternating between my William Hill account and Tattle. Laughing so much! Thankfully no one has asked for a "quick chat" yet.
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