Notice
Thread ordered by most liked posts - View normal thread.

Gentlemensrelish

Chatty Member
Sticking my head over the parapet to say, no, your babies won't be traumatised by Nursery. They'll love it, just as children starting Reception did before it was expected to go to baby yoga, baby massage, baby socialisation, baby signing, playgroups and everything else. They'll be secure and loved and cared for and will find playing with other little people, toys, activities and learning songs absolutely wonderful.

Same way the Reception and Year 1 children won't 'fall behind' and be permanently damaged intellectually - they'll be going to school and attending at the later age that some of the most academically successful countries start formal education and, because they will be ready for it, their learning will explode in that time. The little ones will, I'm sure, be fine when formal, in person schooling is safer for staff and society as a whole.
I think nursery should be more scared of my little dickhead than she is of them, to be honest. Child's completely feral. Someone sent me a link to zoom Baby Massage, I can't even get a bloody nappy on her, let alone a nice soothing massage.
 
  • Haha
  • Like
  • Heart
Reactions: 81

Jelly Bean

VIP Member
I get a horrible feeling she is absolutely loving this shit. Makes her feel important.
Today has been a good day for her - inserting herself into Twitter spats (whilst pretending to be the voice of reason 😂) and the prospect of St Jack of the Unholy Slop single handedly advising people what to do with a half sucked Opal Fruit and and packet of Wotsits.
 
  • Like
  • Haha
  • Heart
Reactions: 81

MancBee

VIP Member
Why is she having a socially distanced catchup with her dad and brother in a supermarket?... She would be hogging the isles, getting in the way of others trying to safely get their shopping.

I know that face to face contact is something I miss, but for the sake of my, and everyone else's, health, we try to stick to phone/zoom/WhatsApp. I have met up with my sister and brother at a park fairly often, socially distanced, but we are not obstructing people going about their business.

But to clog up a supermarket to "chat shit, innit, babe" to a family member is about as selfish as you can get.
 
  • Like
  • Heart
Reactions: 80
View attachment 372177

That's gonna be one hell of a curry.
How did this squiggle gain access to Slopbot's code? I'm calling Jack's personal lawyer.

slopcode.png


This is the third time round on the lockdown front, I don't think anyone is still panicking and marauding through supermarkets sweeping armfuls of pasta and beans into as many trolleys as they can wrangle down the aisles. She is a complete ghoul. Any excuse to try and force herself into the public's consciousness. Stop shouting CURRY at people and calling it a philanthropic exercise you gargantuan spanner.

ETA: multiple edits, am being an idiot with attachments.
 
  • Like
  • Haha
  • Heart
Reactions: 79

Minky McMoneypenny

Well-known member
Suffering pre event trauma at the very thought of this one! Ready to serve custard can be a luxurious, velvety joy. Gently heat and stir in (toss, fold, bung...whatever) a generous slug of booze and ENJOY! 😋
9 hours after she went looking for that recipe, I placed an order with Simply Be for a bra and I'm currently wearing said bra. How long does it take to google a recipe?
 
  • Haha
  • Like
  • Heart
Reactions: 79

LyraBalaqua

VIP Member
She clings onto the Hopkins notoriety like a baked bean clings onto the tomato sauce before it’s rinsed.
 
  • Haha
  • Like
Reactions: 78

Jelly Bean

VIP Member
Why, why is she so allergic to actually cooking fucking onions before using them in anything?
The joy of onions is to gently, softly cook them for as long as possible for their sweetness, then use them. Plus the smell is wonderful. Not bung them raw into every ghastly concoction.

That whole tuna, chickpea, tinned tomato 'recipe' is no more than 'put every ingredient in a pot at the same time and cook it for half an hour'. She literally cannot cook can she? Using slightly fancy words does not disguise this.
 
  • Like
  • Heart
  • Haha
Reactions: 77

crystaleyesd

VIP Member
Lmao she's deleted the one about meeting her dad on purpose (cos it's breaking the law you twit). Was likely queuing up outside Asda this morning gleefully hoping she'd find a bunch of panic buyers stripping the shelves of beans so she could reprimand people on twitter (whilst simultaneously sowing panic and directing people to Lockdown Larder 3). She's a disgrace.

And what's this fucking white as mayo heart she's sticking onto all her tweets? An emoji isn't a personality Jack 😑
 
Last edited:
  • Like
  • Heart
  • Haha
Reactions: 76

Veronicaaa

VIP Member
That is one of the poses that used to be seen in every local newspaper. Woman with glum look because something isn't going her way. Similarly there's the one with a family with sad faces because something didn't go their way. Or man with angry face because something didn't go his way.

It screams provincial newspaper photograph. The photographers must do some sort of course in clichéd poses.

ETA, I wonder what these photographers are doing now local papers have all but disappeared.
Skipping ahead but this picture story is a favourite -


Screen Shot 2021-01-06 at 06.57.34.png
 
  • Haha
  • Like
  • Wow
Reactions: 76

Ellabella

VIP Member
Screenshot_20210104-191404.png

She's absolutely shitting herself here that she might have to have her son full time and forgo her many naps and extensive me time. Support bubbles for co-parents won't be stopped but Jack had three childcare support bubbles as she can't cope looking after her own child.
 
  • Like
  • Haha
  • Angry
Reactions: 76

Mogmog

Chatty Member
It took a full 18 hours (not even a full day ) to go from her patronising "we need to stay home" tweet to "I just illegally met my dad and brother in Asda, aren't we cheeky"

I would LOVE for a tabloid to pick up on it: Jack Monroe Admits to Breaking Lockdown Hours After Tweeting '#Stayathome'
 
  • Like
  • Angry
  • Haha
Reactions: 76