Jack Monroe #127 No-spend year

[Debarkle]

Maybe I’m a pedantic horrible bitch (especially if the brother has health problems Jack hasn’t yet shared with Twitter) but there shouldn’t be any “popping” in to Asda and 14 year olds shouldn’t be joining their parents for a wander round the shop.

Also one of my least fav groups of people are those who you see when out for a walk - they’re having a “compliant” meet up stood two metres away chatting across the path - but means everyone else has to either walk through them and their Covid spittle or walk round in them through the mud.

 

[Mogmog]

I look forward to seeing the weird and wacky places she will say her newly purchased items were found in this no spend year.

My guesses:
- She had her windows open during a storm and it just blew in
- It has been stuck at her publisher's all lockdown and has only just arrived
- SB went without sausages and saved his pocket money to buy it (Mothers Day is coming up!)
- It was accidentally delivered but the company doesn't want it back
- A gift from a fellow Express/Telegraph/rightwing colleague
- There was a bright light and a puff of smoke and it suddenly appeared in her living room
- The magic puddle provides again

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

If Louisa Compton isn't helping with the bills, she could at least give the tins back.

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

What expression does she believe her face shows? She just looks a bit fucking smug?

 

[Silver Linings]

That’s realy fucked me off. Supermarkets are to be moved through efficiently, not taking up an aisle spreading your lurgy and germs around while you laugh until you cry and talk about pies and politics. Did you talk about your mates Sarah Vine and James Cleverly, Jack? What does ol’ Dad think about them? You absolute awful muppet.

 

[colouredlines]

That's gonna be one hell of a curry.

 

[NP]

Surely her childminder friend would know this more than someone who “rinses baked beans for a living”? My friend is a childminder and is so clued up on everything. I’d be concerned she’s asking Jack... who is then asking Twitter.

Edit: after seeing you fraus replies I’m guessing this isn’t an official childminder of sorts and Jack just wants to check someone can still look after her kid while she dino naps.

 

[MancBee]

Spotted on Instagram. For FUCKS SAKE. So so tempted to reply.

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Lets go through them shall we.
Book deadline. If you had kept to the original one back in October it would be done now.
Single mother, he is your son, not a chore.
Full time childcarer, he is 10 years old, he needs supervision and guiding with boundaries, he's not like a 2 year old into everything.
Educator, no the teachers are doing distant learning. It might not be the same as at school but we are in a pandemic.
Entertainer, you really are not one of those. Best leave that one to the TV, YouTube and Nintendo.
Cook, you make the family meals like everyone does.
Cleaner, doesn't everyone have to clean their own home?
Emotional labourer....word salad, meaningless.
Washing machine operator, bung it in, put in powder/liquid switch on....go for a lie down it's all too much.
SM manager, you can't stop Tweeting rubbish, manage it better.
Own PR, well that is playing out well.
Recipe consultant, for who?
Photographer, taking snaps of food instead of putting it on the table and eating it doesn't make you a photographer any more than me taking holiday snaps does.

And yes, get a job you bone idle scamming git.

 

[jenny2603]

Jack has spoken.

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So glad I saw this. I was just about to go to the supermarket and strip the shelves but thanks to Jack I'll use up what I have at home first and only buy what I need when I need it.

 

[Harrybosch]

See now, Harry - you’re just needlessly simplifying things. An apple, a mince pie, a yoghurt - they all need to be slow cooked with a raw onion.
PS - Dare you to get WWJD as a lockdown tattoo.

Completed it, mate.

 

[Pocahontas]

She sure as shit opens the door when Cotswold / Ocado / Sentient mirrors / John Lewis / M&S / Amazon / Nike / Apple et al. come a-calling. Doubt she’s snarling like a feral tomcat then.

Agree with @heretoreaditall2019 - if she really does turn into She-Wolf when there’s a knock on the door, perhaps it’s time to seek out therapy, instead of bringing it to the fore of her followers’s consciences every month or so - just to remind everyone.

 

[crystaleyesd]

Oh, here she is!

 

[Jelly Bean]

Argh why is this so irritating? She seems to imply HE is helping HER initiative .

 

[DinosaurSenior]

I dislike her so very much tonight. More than ever. The two faced sanctimonious preaching liar.

How can she stand on her soapbox sofa when she's played her own part in breaking restrictions?

Arse

 

[Pocahontas]

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Translation: There’s no time for this long covid shit now that lockdown is here. Time of uncertainly + people who don’t know what to do with tinned tomatoes = Jack’s literal time to shine bright like the Lady of the Lockdown who she perceives herself to be.

 

[Silver Linings]

Deliberate flouting of COVID rules Jack has got to be my least favourite Jack. Sister/daughter Jack is a close second. When they combine, that’s the most infuriating Jack of all!

(Home schooling is boring and hard)

 

[Dogmuck]

This “your lawyer is Mark Lewis” and her response “yes” makes me chuckle. He’s a media lawyer, he’s not “her lawyer” he’s the lawyer she used for a particular situation in a specific area of law. He’s not gonna be on a retainer, sorting out her will, doing her conveyancing, her speeding tickets, her tax queries etc etc! What a dick thing to say!

Marks headline case is not “JM v KH” but the phone hacking at the NOTW, JM never gets a look in when he’s written/talked about, but most amusing is that’s Mark got fined by the SRA over some nasty tweeting

Mark Lewis fined £2,500 for offensive tweets

High-profile lawyer responded to abusive messages on social media by wishing death on his abusers.

www.lawgazette.co.uk

 

[Pocahontas]

 

[colouredlines]

I have appeared in several local, and national newspapers in my life 🔺️. A couple of times to do with my job, a few times to do with my LGBT activism, a couple of articles I have written (can I call myself a journalist?), a couple of times (a long time ago) with my school. I even appeared in an article in the gay press about a club opening event. I had a double paged centre spread about building heritage locally.

I didn't clip them out and keep them like some fame hungry idiot.

I was once in a national newspaper because a university club I helped start won a prize I was so proud that I bought 3 copies! Then I took a closer look at the picture and it became apparent that my skirt was tucked into the top of my panties.

I can relate to Jack because now I triple check my clothes, even when wearing traazers.

It never leaves you.

 

[Eurgh]

My favourite is ‘teenager sent home for completely inappropriate hair cut that you allowed them to get despite knowing full well it was against the rules’.