Jack Monroe #123 CAROLE MALONE IS AWAY

[Soapy Dolphin]

Oh Jack, I'm so sorry you're getting so much "crap from the usual suspects" AKA pointing out facts. It's really mean of them to do that about an awful virus that, you know, kills people and has wrecked so many lives in so many ways. You surely should be allowed to be creative with the truth given your special status. You must be exhausted after that enormous tweety deletey. Please rest up now. Laters!

 

[PoorPatrol]

I actually think Ruby Tandoh would be brave enough to call her out by name. Please We need this to round out the worst year ever!

 

[Whiskers]

Haven’t grunka-ed so apologies if this has been mentioned - one of the (many!) things that pissed people off about Dominic Cummings and BarnardCastleGate was the lies - when his wife wrote an article implying they were in London the whole time and then read it out on Radio 4. I mean it’s not like Louisa works in the media and would be aware of every detail of a massive news story that took over the news cycle for a week? Granted L & J aren’t part of the government but surely with L’s media background and J’s obsession with the cabal they’d be a bit more careful about such a sensitive subject and actually try and fix their timeline before publishing stuff?

 

[Limey]

My apologies if this has been asked before but I am in deep now and I just have to know what the black eye thing was about?
I’ve seen a few references to it but think it was before my time lurking on here so im unable to find any more info on it and i’m just nosy/curious!

She claimed to have sustained a black eye in some domestic accident, and took herself off to the hospital. She posted photos as 'proof', but the black eye seemed to be constructed by liberal application of the Urban Decay Naked palette.

 

[HotesTilaire]

My apologies if this has been asked before but I am in deep now and I just have to know... What was the black eye thing about?
I’ve seen a few references to it but think it was before my time lurking on here so im unable to find any more info on it and i’m just nosy/curious!

Have a look at thread 66 for glittery black eye
Thread 31 is also good craic

 

[moosesauna]

If Louisa has been working from home since March, why did she then divide her time as BB, spending half the week at the crappy Bungalow and the other half in London? Surely if she's WFH there was no need to do that?

It may not be technically against the rules (I haven't been following English measures), but it's definitely not being cautious, is it?

I also query going out for a bike ride while still having apparently serious breathing problems (can't make it upstairs without wheezing). A gentle walk may be one thing, but cycling you're usually without a mask, right (here cyclists can go without)? And if you're having breathing issues, more likely to have problems which could lead well-meaning passersby to come close...

We've all had to make sacrifices this year, and people are feeling it more than ever this week. Louisa-sympathisers, don't waste your time. These are two very selfish and irresponsible people.

Perfect couple, really ...

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

It's always her undoing! She really is incredibly stupid.

You're darn tootin' she is (channeling USA mommy Jack).

 

[blurstoftimes]

oops - I just realised its Kirsty Strickland that's following her. I really shouldn't even bother trying to use twitter. I'll slink away and punish myself by looking at photos of Jack's slow cooker christmas dinner for a while.

 

[Jumpingbeansterrapin]

Thank you both I am very much looking forward to reading this!

She claimed to have sustained a black eye in some domestic accident, and took herself off to the hospital. She posted photos as 'proof', but the black eye seemed to be constructed by liberal application of the Urban Decay Naked palette.

Have a look at thread 66 for glittery black eye
Thread 31 is also good craic

 

[Pocahontas]

Now Louisa is getting some heat from the Times article, people are paying an interest in her covid timeline. Jack's twitter feed essentially in all but name reveals Louisa to be having all sorts of engagements with her mum, filming commitments, bike rides, not to mention sharing a house with a school-attending child with a step-family and a scampering smol pixie who has been travelling the country on photoshoots and filming (and just general yomping around). Now *if* Louisa had been lying about where she was staying to her bosses (or anyone, really), it might start to look pretty bad for her. She might be pretty ticked off at our plucky heroine and her twitter addiction right now - hence delete fest.

No bleeping sympathy for either of them.

All of this. Perhaps she also read the detectives’ timelines here and thought, ‘Well, tit.’

 

[Terrible]

Who was taking SB to school that first week? Louisa had covid, Jack must have suspected she had it, yet one of them must have accompanied him to the school gates, and then the whole class had to isolate because their teacher got it? Is that right? Like Jack, I can’t keep track of the timeline.

 

[Alansbigplate]

Jack has fucked with the WRONG crowd if she thinks she can take on long covid-ers. The pandemic has been front page news for almost a year now - we ALL know somebody who's had it (if not ourselves), and we talk about it endlessly. People whose covid timelines don't add up are found out pretty quickly. Long haulers have formed a very tight-knit and intense community because nobody is able to help them due to how new it is - they know from experience how long symptoms take to show up, dissipate, or stick around. Jack is getting stick from people who aren't her usual twitter trolls because covid is a BIG bleeping DEAL and people take it really seriously - even if she doesn't. If she really wants to commit to this lie I suggest she takes a good few weeks off to read the forums and then come back with something actually credible.

 

[blurstoftimes]

All of this. Perhaps she also read the detectives’ timelines here and thought, ‘Well, tit.’

Although if Louisa was hiding it from her bosses you'd think perhaps Jack would have been careful not to scamper around the bungalow naked like the adorable cheeky little pixie that she is (come to think of it - didn't naked scampering happen in the last 3 weeks? Doesn't sound very covid-y to me, unless she stripped because she was feverish)

 

[Tabitha D]

Have a look at thread 66 for glittery black eye
Thread 31 is also good craic

Worth a repost, I think.
Glittery!
And she only took herself off to hospital once it became clear that the squiggles weren’t buying it. For a while she even tried to convince people she might have a broken eye socket. (Spoiler: she didn’t. An excellent use of NHS services during a pandemic I think you’ll agree).

 

[Pocahontas]

oops - I just realised its Kirsty Strickland that's following her. I really shouldn't even bother trying to use twitter. I'll slink away and punish myself by looking at photos of Jack's slow cooker christmas dinner for a while.

Boomer

 

[blurstoftimes]

Boomer

I got excited OKAY?!

 

[MarmiteExtract]

Go on luv, flash us yer teeth.

@crystaleyesd off topic but are you still only chatty member? I feel like you’ve been around for ages

 

[Limey]

Worth a repost, I think.
Glittery!
And she only took herself off to hospital once it became clear that the squiggles weren’t buying it. For a while she even tried to convince people she might have a broken eye socket. (Spoiler: she didn’t. An excellent use of NHS services during a pandemic I think you’ll agree).

God, she's such a waster.

 

[colouredlines]

I...don't know quite how to say it, but I'm starting to suspect this tweet from September may not have been entirely true:

 

[Minky McMoneypenny]

No, not my beloved Klopp