BUTTER, BUTTER, BUTTER, BUTTER...but but but she can’t afford butter 
now she’ll never be able to eat her faves 
my heart is 
for poor Jackie
now she’ll never be able to eat her faves my heart is for poor Jackie
Jack Monroe #114 i, slopbot
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Go to bed, Jack.
Maybe she's staying up to vote in the sloppies
I wish she’d cook something so amazing that she takes the pan to bed with her. She’s been giddy for about 48 hours. Night night time lil’pixie.
@Switchstreetz The Sloppies <insert David Rose obsessed with this gif>
INCREDIBLE! I feel humble to be in the company of such creative, talented, funny human beings (no puppy hybrids here!)!
Also Jack, go the duck to sleep. You’re up early tomorrow!
INCREDIBLE! I feel humble to be in the company of such creative, talented, funny human beings (no puppy hybrids here!)!
Also Jack, go the duck to sleep. You’re up early tomorrow!
The new 9.30pm bed time lasted, what? A day?
That is a tiny portion! I thought that was a potato crisp on top of giant fusilli pasta but it's a slice of garlic on normal size fusilli on a Sophie conran portmeirion side plate.
ETA - saucer, not side plate
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I feel so sorry for her son if that streaking story is true.
Absolute tool.
Absolute tool.
Not a rewrite this time, and one of those things you regret ever starting as it turns out pretty cr@p, but .....
Devil Woman
Cliff Richard
I've had nothing but bad luck ( DKL, Hellmann's, Lingreenie, Cabal ..... )
Since the day I saw the cat at my door ( Pretzel )
So I came into you sweet lady ( Louisa )
Answering your mystical call ( Viv )
Crystal ball on the table ( Tennis players ..... tut )
Showing the future, the past ( Sentient Mirror )
Same cat with them evil eyes ( Cooper )
And I knew it was a spell she cast ( Kirsty )
She's just a devil woman ( Hmmm ..... )
With evil on her mind .....
Beware the devil woman .....
She's gonna get you .....
She's just a devil woman .....
With evil on her mind .....
Beware the devil woman .....
She's gonna get you from behind .....
Give me the ring on your finger ( SHE LEFT!! )
Let me see the lines on your hand ( Rough-hewn )
I can see me a tall dark stranger ( Marcus )
Giving you what you hadn't planned ( Muddy puddle )
I drank the potion she offered me ( Kombucha )
I found myself on the floor ( Clawing )
Then I looked in those big green eyes ( JO envy )
And I wondered what I'd came there for ( Facebook Live )
She's just a devil woman ( You know who ..... )
With evil on her mind .....
Beware the devil woman .....
She's gonna get you .....
She's just a devil woman .....
With evil on her mind .....
Beware the devil woman .....
She's gonna get you from behind .....
Stay away, look out .....
If you're out on a moonlit night ( Howling )
Be careful of them neighborhood strays ( Mr Fox )
Of a lady with long black hair ( Annunziata )
Tryin' to win you with her feminine ways ( Nigella )
..... Repeat .....
Honestly youre all so funny, i went back to some old edinburgh & black eye threads as part of making the quiz and it felt so nostalgic
Jack makes the chaos but you wonderful lot are the ones who turn it into comedy instead of being frustrating
Just found out about the scotsman article and im over the moon but also oops (whoopsyboo?
) on dropping the sloppies the same day - we're gonna get double the chaos now. My bad 
I imagine a new ring bound folder has been cracked open in the eaves of a crappy bungalow in Southend tonight
Such a great article! I like that it focused on the right things - grifting from those less well off - and didnt name names
We know very well she will vote and happily identify herself...unless she shan’tshe'd better not. she'll skew the result of the last question!
Oh! I thought it was a sliced carrot. Cos carrot pasta is a thing, amiright?
I'm guessing she's not moving house any time soon, as she alluded to a couple of weeks ago. Pickfords would tell her to shove that crockery up her arse
Holy tit squiggle! Someone has landed the article at her feet 
with massive side of sarcasm
with massive side of sarcasm Attachments
You are an absolute genius, The Sloppies are hella chef’s kiss AF! I cackled at “assassination attempt of @MancBee” and just all of it had me hooting. You deserve the ultimate maverick award for creating the awards ceremony we never knew we needed.Honestly youre all so funny, i went back to some old edinburgh & black eye threads as part of making the quiz and it felt so nostalgic
Jack makes the chaos but you wonderful lot are the ones who turn it into comedy instead of being frustrating
Just found out about the scotsman article and im over the moon but also oops (whoopsyboo?
I imagine a new ring bound folder has been cracked open in the eaves of a crappy bungalow in Southend tonight
Such a great article! I like that it focused on the right things - grifting from those less well off - and didnt name names
You are a bloody maverick genius!
The Sloppies! Amazing. I cannot believe how funny and clever our cabal is! I heart you all.
I had such a hard time casting my votes and have had tears of laughter remembering it all.
I have voted and now I shall absolutely get to duck(ing bed). It’s what Viv would have wanted.
I had such a hard time casting my votes and have had tears of laughter remembering it all.
I have voted and now I shall absolutely get to duck(ing bed). It’s what Viv would have wanted.
Thought I’d quickly cast my Sloppies votes before I turned in for the night, and now I’m hooting and fizzing far too much to get any dinosaur snores in.
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