Jack Monroe #114 i, slopbot

[Alansbigplate]

View attachment 335309View attachment 335310the back doesn’t look quite right?

How is each one always the freakiest so far?!
Not even a face-tuned-but-weirdly-attractive-Matt cameo to take the edge off tho, terrible.

whoops bad timing

Loves her a platform shoe doesn’t she

 

[Veronicaaa]

I can’t imagine how I would get my loved ones to do this for me without telling them what it was for!!

Jack: Hi everyone, can you fill out two sheets of A4 paper, outlining your feelings about ME, please?
Everyone: <sighs> Not *again*, Jack.

 

[Emmapism]

Who diagnosed you?

'A really good and qualified and definitely real psychiatrist'



Anyone struggle to believe a single word or is it just me? #scepticalfrau

 

[Smeghead]

Early thread suggestion
Jack Monroe #115 The Scotsman’s got your number

 

[discokebab]

I'm like 20 pages behind so hope this isn't a weird time to come in but:

THE SLOPPIES ARE NOW LIVE
(At least I think, hope and pray they are anyway)

Spoiler: the link

please tell me if it doesn't work

I've tried it on a laptop and an android smartphone and it seems to be working!

Winners will go up on Tattle, not sure of date yet but im thinking close submissions Tuesday 15th Dec & announce on thread Sunday 20th? (Taking feedback on this though, obviously we need to pick a specific time and then be about half an hour late as well, in true JM fashion)

Sleeping was a mistake! I missed so much. But what I must say, is the Sloppies as a whole...I remember when I de-lurked in thread #100 and rattled my loneliness jar, how the personalities of the cabal made me feel a little less like I was drifting in my new lockdown job (I love the job itself, FWIW). The Sloppies is the culmination - the gifs, the presenters of awards on top of the actual content *chefs kiss* it is just so perfect. As well as being funny, there is a real compassion behind it, our collective desire to see Terminator Squiggle win, to get back winter fuel money, to expose those who seek to exploit others whilst they scamper in the nuddy pants with mummified dildos festering amongst rusty spoons.

I have to go do some fucking WORK now

 

[HarderFaster]

Puking at the sycophantic replies and pervy blokes telling her how gorgeous she is. So weird that she actively chases it.

Rolled my eyeballs out of their sockets when I read this. Slagging off Angelina Jolie’s natural face to suck up to a lesbian who’s actually had filler, are we? Fucking incel pricks.

Big vibes here.

Edit - sorry this looks like I’m saying they shouldn’t be praising a lesbian but I just mean it in a “she’s not gonna shag you, mate” way. Anger makes me careless with phrasing. But honestly, fuck Jack and all the centrist dads who sail in her.

 

[Droosie123]

The ADHD stuff irritates me too...I concur with what’s already been said and I can’t improve upon it.
i have ADHD but being in my 50s i approach the idea of medication with extreme caution . I’ve tried the medication and it’s amazing, my brain becomes so focused and alert ....it’s like the medication “tunes the fuzzy TV” if that makes sense.
However I am aware these drugs are stimulants and so I tend not to use them..in fact haven’t taken any for the past year.
I am aware of the drawbacks of ADHD but I also have amazing abilities which o wouldn’t have without it. I’m a very creative thinker for example and good at thinking sideways and seeing stuff others don’t.
I have an irrational fear of being late so am always stupidly early....I also found myself nodding in understanding about the person described who always gave in course work early. That’s me too.

Tbh I am not sure if Jack has ADHD (I can see traits in her) or some kind of personality disorder. There’s definitely something there though which makes her pretty much unemployable.

oh and GQ magazine...Jack is NOT and never has been “a chef”. You insult every single trained chef out there by describing her as such. Also the only actisim she indulges in is feathering her rented nest by outright lies designed to manipulate people into giving her money,

 

[Mel Donte]

I do. I think it’s someone who’s been on here twice.

Will the stench of ham never leave?!

 

[colouredlines]

The Conroe thing just makes me think of the person who kept trying to make Cack Monroe happen.

The Smeg tweet suggests that it's someone who's been following these threads for a while.

Honestly, these single issue Twitter accounts do more harm than good. They give fuel to the pursued-by-trolls narrative (see also: Denim Sue, that Coven Convenor person, this new one that's Pfestis or something, that human centipede weirdo who was at it for a while, and many more).

 

[Silver Linings]

She’s sat on her phone fuming that we’re taking the piss out of her Face Off prison shoes.

 

[jenny2603]

Ha! BB should stick her head around the door and say she was just checking if Jack was OK after the Scotsman expose. That'd put the streaking slopgibbon back in her fucking box.

 

[Ladderedtights]

A couple of quid it all adds up doesn’t it?
Also really enjoying a clothes warehouse in Bangladesh tweeting Jack pairs of really boring trousers to Jack with no context

 

[jenny2603]

View attachment 334744

"I AM FUCKING BRICKING IT BUT I HOPE BY ACTING LIKE I'M REALLY HAPPY YOU DUMB SQUIGGLES WON'T GO GOOGLING ME"

 

[Smeghead]

"Jack, darling, do you think you can get off your phone for juuuuuuust five minutes while we take your photo? We're not getting paid overtime you know."

"SHAN'T. I need at least 500 likes on Twitter before I allow myself to be photographed. You're going to make me look like my latest selfie right??"

"That's not possible - it's a camera, not a time machine."

"I want to speak to the manager!!"

Etc etc

Jack later this evening or tomorrow: the production team said I was a joy to work with, they’d never worked with anyone as easy going as me. We were crying with laughter. One of the best shoots I’ve ever been on. Etc etc

 

[Silver Linings]

 

[Ladderedtights]

Laura replied to Terminator Squiggle. If only it was in Jack’s nature to be compassionate instead of a thieving puppy human white as mayo hybrid.

 

[Montrachet]

Assuming this is terminator squiggle, i both love and fear* them and hope their determination pays off!

It is not 'Terminator Squiggle'. It was someone else - this is another entirely different person too.

 

[Begborrowsteal]

This nice act of hers is sickening.

 

[Satisfying Click]

It's the uprising of the squiggles

 

[ReginaPhalangee]

This thread in particular is incredibly screen shot heavy (for my part in that I apologise), without those it’d be near impossible to follow.

never apologise for the screen shots!