How is she softening onions in 5 minutes? My chef skills are limited but it takes me a good 10 minutes to get onions soft and translucent.Fear not ive discovered the perfect apology meal for you
(http://imgur.com/a/vyX0Zbz)
Idk why the 4th page is now the first (imgurs done a chaos) but feast your eyes on this monstrosity
Also yes I can quite see her as a judge on GBM, she does fit the sort of person they have, could the tall man be Oliver Peyton? Not quite sure how she’d stick to her staunchly moralistic 90% vegan though so she could have turned it down on ethical grounds like the gigs with Unilever or the column in the Express.I've actually got some tinned peaches in my cupboard at the moment (not bought in a £20 shop x) but the only problem is, I love having tinned peaches with vanilla ice cream as it's my favourite cheap pud! It's a shame when a tin of sliced peaches and Green and Black's vanilla ice cream trumps someone's supposed best dish
In all seriousness though, has anyone ever tried the peach curry? I am a huge fan of fruit in savoury food, so out of all of the Jack recipes, that is the one I would be most tempted to make. I think it's the photo that lets it down, I like to be enticed by the professional, could eat it off of the page/lick the screen photos and the one on the blog...underwhelms me, personally.
That definitely needs the Alan treatmentI love how she thinks she needs to apologise to Natalia, for the mountains of fan mail she’s about to be drowned in! Does she think she’s some kind of rock star?
https://giphy.com/UJS4fUKBaTc8o
Thanks, great forensic skills. Great that the truth is always out thereFound the answer to your question @Readingismyhobby !
View attachment 323118
She answered it in a comment on this article of hers:
View attachment 323119
Having seen her foodDredging up something which has potentially been discussed before but I don't get the appeal in fibbing. The GoHenry thing for example just seems absolutely wild to me. In fact, that situation is so ridiculous because 1) The '£20 shop' isn't even a £20 shop. I could say I did a £1.50 shop because I bought a 4-pinter of skimmed milk the other day. 2) Why does it matter if you paid with a GoHenry card, a Monzo card, cash, shrapnel from your purse or wallet or used your AmEx? It's hilarious because the greater level of detail she sinks into with all of her activities, the more she opens herself up to criticism and potential gaps in the overall picture - like the whole Visa/MasterCard thing. It's just unnecessary to divulge how you pay for a shop. It wouldn't even be an issue anyway if the 'shopping to a strict budget' was done properly and wasn't just a mirror image of how most people shop in a mindful, resourceful and NORMAL way.
I think the thing that Jack needs is just someone to do the tweeting for her, to give her more of a professional/slick PR veneer. I feel like her account is perilously close to discussing which brand of toilet roll is her favourite when she's having a shit for God's sake. For me, that's why I had to unfollow. When you follow a personality, especially a cook or a chef, you expect certain things. Links to recipes, updates on work, hints and tips, pleasant engagement with fans (don't know if anyone here loves Ottolenghi like I do, but even he and his development chefs/colleagues share recreations of his work by Otto fans on their instagram stories etc/give praise) and then, once in a while, knowing when to break silence on important issues.
Postcards done...and the weekly recipe cards?
I bow in the presence of utter greatness and geniusIs this my real life? Is it just fantasy?
Caught out on my lies, my escape from reality
Urban Decayed Eyes, look up to the skies and see-eeee
I'm just a poor girl, from a rich family
Because I'm
Easy come, easy go
Sometimes high, sometime low
Any way the Cabal knows
Doesn't really matter
To me
Give to meeeeeee
[plinky plonky piano intro in the style of Les Dawson]
MAMA! I need more jam
Put a Smeg up in my hall, pretend it's not really there at all
MAMA! I neeeeeeed some cash
Gotta spend it all to make myself feel flash
MAMA! Ooo-oo-ooo-oooh (Any lies, then we know)
Now you've made me cry
Clawing, screaming out there -WHY??????
Carry on, carry on, as if I don't have arthritis
Too late, I neeeed some fun
Sunbathing, I'm just fine
BUT MY BODY'S ACHING ALL THE TIME
Goodbye, everybody, I've got to go
Gotta piss and eat and try to hide the truth
MAMA! Oooo-oo-ooo-oooh (All your lies, the Fraus know)
I hate being caught on lies
I sometimes wish I'd never been caught at allll
[JM hurls herself around with a Burberry scarf wrapped around her sports bra, teething rings rattling on her wrists in a disconcerting version of Kate Bush doing Wuthering Heights - possibly retitled Fifty Slops of Shite]
I see a little dusty husk of a girl
Where's my shoes, where's my dress, gonna do the Fandango
Viviennes and Emins ,very, very precious to me
(Where'd your cash go?) How the fuck would I know?, (On a sideboard?) Oh, no, no, no, magnifico-o-o-o
I'm just a poor girl, nobody loves me
She's just a poor girl from a rich family
Give her some cash so she can buy SB's tea
Easy come, easy go, won't you let it go?
Like fuck, bitch! No, we will not let it go. (Let me go!)
Like fuck, no! We will not let it go. (Let mebreathego!)
Oh, heck, no! We will not let it go. (Let me go!)
Will not let it go. (Let me go!)
Will not let it go
Never let lies go, oh
No, no, no, no, no, no, no
Oh, mama, jam now, mama bread now (Mama JESUS, let it go!)
The Cotswolds has a fancy newer sideboard for me, for me, for meeeeeeeeeeeeeee
So you think you can catch me and laugh at my eye?
So you think you can leave me and not live my lies?
Oh, BB, can't do this to me, BB
You'll never get out, you'll never get right outta here
(Ooooh, yeah, oooooh yeah)
Money only matters
Anyone can see
Money only matters
Money only matters to meeeeeeeeeeeeee
Anyway, the Tattlers know.
[gong] (£2479.99 of Patreon donations, now please put a tenner in my butter bowl, thankyou and fuck off)
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