Jack Monroe #110 Hands up, who likes me?

[Into_the_tunnel]

Does anyone think she might have meant to use a word other than lascivious? Voracious maybe, I don’t know? But literally any other word? I’m just trying to help myself get over the visuals her description conjures up and it’s hurting my head

I agree.

Maybe she was thinking of lavish and voracious and was trying to think of some clever “in between word”, typed something in and that came up.

Lascivious should not be used when describing yourself eating mussel slop.

 

[HotesTilaire]

As you were all talking about what narcs think earlier, whether they know they are lying etc, would you all like to know an account from the other side? I had a lot of narc traits as a teenager, and Jack reminds me of me when I was about 14. I think I can answer some of your questions. But I'm asking first as it would be supremely narc of me to derail the thread talking about myself and assume you're interested!

Hello and welcome. Thank you for the offer however, fo me, I am quite clear on the difference between a person with NPD which is a “dark triad” diagnosed personality disorder-and narc traits- which anyone can have, we all do, so for me it’s a no. But perhaps you could put something behind a spoiler?

 

[Gentlemensrelish]

Since some of you were interested in the nutrition of Jack's slop, I put the tin bolognese into cronometer. It

Science Frau is now my thread highlight. Absolutely love this.

Can I do some nice but off topic life news? It's just been me and Fraulein Relish for 14 weeks (she is 16 weeks old) but Herr Relish (I'll stop...) arrived back with us Monday. It's all been a bit fraught because it's a quite confusing to go from child-free couple to couple with 4 month old without middle steps, also she's not been that impressed with the random, strange man in our house. ANYWAY, this morning, she's beamed at him when she woke up, gone happily with him and I can hear him talking to her and I just heard him say 'it's ok, I knew we'd be best friends, we're going to have so much fun' But most of all, MY SHIFT IS OVER. Someone get me a glass of wine and a warm bed, I'm going to sleep for a year.

And on topic, what a legend! A cookery writer (she's not a chef, she'll thankyou to remember) who cooked something without a recipe. How does she do it?!

 

[Silver Linings]

 

[Captainmouse]

Mr D hovers in the background whenever I'm cooking because he knows anything related to jars or tins is going to get passed to him without a word. There is no way on earth I can do them, even when armed with various gadgets, a strong tablespoon, rubber gloves and 40 years of experience. As for still sealed jars, duck that forever - the only way I've ever got them open in the last 15 years is by stabbing the fuckers with a pointy knife (and only then if he's still nearby to open them and not hiding from my arthritis induced rage).

I find this helps me with ring pulls, obviously I don’t know if appropriate for yourself, but maybe?

Magipull Tin Can Ring Pull Opener

Magipull Tin or Can Ring Pull Opener. Open all your food and drink cans quickly & easily & without breaking any nails! Dishwasher safe. Shop online or in-store.

www.lakeland.co.uk

 

[colouredlines]

I am being 100% sincere when I say I would rather eat a raw steak carved from the body of the recently deceased Diego Armando Maradona than Jack's mussels.

I love mussels. I genuinely think moules frites with lard instead of (fancy expensive) butter would have been more palatable.

PS been grunking, and I have to say that chair is just so odd. Her house is like if you described fancy decor to a martian and left him to it.

 

[Smeghead]

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Exploding nutribullets? *inserts Surejan.gif*

 

[Nottonightbabe]

Trans hyenas? How unruly were their labia?

Hyena labia are actually very unruly. Their birth canal is on the outside, as a pseudo penis, which makes their mating and birthing very difficult . Their labia are fused together and look like a scrotum. So definitely 3 pairs of pants territory in terms of unruliness.

 

[Into_the_tunnel]

Squiggle has kindly pointed out that the costings don’t work out for bread (if it serves 6).

What are we more excited about.....

1. Matt Hancock being told to answer to his mate getting covid test job?

2. Finding out which tier we are in?

3.The likelihood of her answering squiggle?

4. VIRAL HEEL DANCING THING?

 

[Nottonightbabe]

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She has managed to blow up 2 nutribullets? Kinda suggests she doesn't use them properly then? People really shouldn't follow her cooking instructions, she doesn't know what the hell she's doing.

 

[ReginaPhalangee]

As you were all talking about what narcs think earlier, whether they know they are lying etc, would you all like to know an account from the other side? I had a lot of narc traits as a teenager, and Jack reminds me of me when I was about 14. I think I can answer some of your questions. But I'm asking first as it would be supremely narc of me to derail the thread talking about myself and assume you're interested!

thank you but no thank you

 

[Captainmouse]

How many spare slices of bread were there fraus?

That is the most disgusting thing she has ever cooked (and that's saying something). Just looking at it makes me feel sick.

Why did she have to eat it out of a pan? I've never eaten straight out of a pan like that, even when camping.

She truly is the Mrs cropley of Southend
She really cannot cook can she?

Wasn’t someone assigned slice counting duty?

 

[Cookiecookie]

That's ace news about Mr Relish and Baby Relish becoming besties @Gentlemensrelish

In other news - it's Thursday!!!

 

[Lumpyspaceprincess]

Mussels have broken me. And I don’t even eat seafood.

I need to see viral video to cheer me up

 

[ReginaPhalangee]

Hyena labia are actually very unruly. Their birth canal is on the outside, as a pseudo penis, which makes their mating and birthing very difficult . Their labia are fused together and look like a scrotum. So definitely 3 pairs of pants territory in terms of unruliness.

I learn SO MUCH from here

 

[Gentlemensrelish]

I had a lot of narc traits as a teenager, and Jack reminds me of me when I was about 14. I think I can answer some of your questions.

I think a lot of her behaviour is fairly normal in a teenager, isn't it? Extravagant lying and being self-centred seem unremarkable in an 11-16 year old. I think a lot of people see their teenage self or teenagers they've known in her. Just unfortunate that she's 32.

 

[Oofadoofa]

I agree.

Maybe she was thinking of lavish and voracious and was trying to think of some clever “in between word”, typed something in and that came up.

Lascivious should not be used when describing yourself eating mussel slop.

Am imagining that it's all one big lie, she made that monstrosity, took one mouthful and threw it in the bin. Everything she said after this turn of events is a sad attempt to seem like a food genius, but in reality we all know that not even Monroe would be able to tackle that plate of pure mess.

 

[Gentlemensrelish]

Hyena labia are actually very unruly. Their birth canal is on the outside, as a pseudo penis, which makes their mating and birthing very difficult . Their labia are fused together and look like a scrotum. So definitely 3 pairs of pants territory in terms of unruliness.

My god, the late risers are in for a shock when they get here.

And to think I was worried my cute kid news was too far off topic.

 

[Captainmouse]

It was back in red day green day. My pal lost 3 stones and I swear all she ate was boil in the bag beef and mashed tattles.

I was stuck with that and cheese ravioli. Back in the days I was veggie and not vegan.

It was grim. Took me about ten months to lose ten pounds. Not worth the crap I ate at that point

And in those days they used to announce your weight to the whole class and whether you had gained or lost.

bib was that autocarrot? serious eye wets here

 

[Flivver]

It’s 07.47 GMT. Has she gone viral yet?