Jack Monroe #110 Hands up, who likes me?

[jenny2603]

I think that book should have had a footnote - “I want to be a star...but only if someone else makes me one”. Because if I wanted something really badly, I would do everything I could to get there. But she wouldn’t prepare for the Hellman’s live, she couldn’t even pre-boil the pasta for the lingereenie and had all manner of tech problems for a prime slot on BBC1. The sense of entitlement with her is astounding.

The pasta thing was especially infuriating. Would it have killed her to cook it the night before, dress it in a bit of oil and then brought it from the fridge ready to heat through for the show, freeing her up to deal with the other bits of the dish. There's a certain arrogance about thinking you're so fascinating that a live TV show has time to wait about whilst you're waiting to boil bloody pasta. I haven't managed more than fifteen seconds of the Hellmans debacle. Watching her gives me major anxiety.

 

[LavaFlake]

The pasta thing was especially infuriating. Would have killed her to cook it the night before, dress it in a bit of oil and then brought it from the fridge ready to heat through for the show, freeing her up to deal with the other bits of the dish. There's a certain arrogance about thinking you're so fascinating that a live TV show has time to wait about whilst you're waiting to boil bloody pasta. I haven't managed more than fifteen seconds of the Hellmans debacle. Watching her gives me major anxiety.

That's it! If I wanted to watch something awkward and cringe inducing I'd put on Peep Show or even a bad episode of Masterchef.

 

[FrumpyCat]

That toastie just looks so bad. Dry yet sloppy. Crazy how she manages that really.

You could almost get away with it, using regular bread, not the seeded stuff she appears to have used, and buttering the outside. Definitely no cheese though, some people have that with fruit cake, but not mince pies. I have seen people using pastry in their toastie machine, but never tried that personally, but that would be more pie like.

Toasties were definitely a big feature growing up. My mother had a food repertoire of about 12 things on repeat (we ate a lot of Angel Delight, put it that way) and they were one of them.

Seeded bread? I thought her famous £20 shop was cheap white bread?

Both my parents were dreadful at cooking. I am sure my father's camping holiday signature dish of corned beef hash is the reason why I am a vegetarian who doesn't camp.

 

[crystaleyesd]

Lmao did she draw those onions and carton of basics passata? Amazed she didn't sign her name in the corner and give it a name like 'passata, spare bedroom'. Worthy of van Gogh they are.

 

[Smeghead]

Omg send out your fifty shades of shite crap instead of trying to muscle in on other people's ideas!

ETA more patreon postcards. No evidence of beige slop recipe cards yet.

View attachment 323400

Some bayleaf and parsnips. Something to frame and put up in the lounge maybe?

 

[Captainmouse]

I do wonder just how many Twitter accounts McJackie has. For someone who seems to be unnaturally obsessed with Twitter, I would say she has dozens.

Most probably all the ones that say "you are amazing" and " thank you for my postcards".

these we know about

What is it with people having multiple accounts? Someone on Twitter had @Peeky_Mink for their secret Ocado shopping, @Chaz35903310 for following
@TattleLife
accounts on here, and
@DannyDinner
for sending messages and images by proxy. not to mention @Chrysanth0s
It's almost as if they have something to hide.
couple more are due to be revealed, but no doubt there are dozens more, I think in the court case she admitted 9

 

[matchakitkat]

That's it! If I wanted to watch something awkward and cringe inducing I'd put on Peep Show or even a bad episode of Masterchef.

Finally watching DKL (apologies as I know you’ll have masterfully reviewed already) but good grief, you’d think someone/agent/a kind friend would tell her ‘get to the point.’ She’s just not built for presenting.

 

[jenny2603]

I'd honestly be delighted to be corrected here if someone wants to highlight some nice photo prints of food that'd be good to frame and put up at home but in general who other than supermarkets puts big colour photos of food up on the walls? Is having a home that looks like the fresh produce aisle in Morrisons a thing? I realise half the Patreons are probably sympathy purchases but what are these perks intended to be for.

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

Dear Patrons, please make sure you tweet photos of the postcards so the nasty canal of hausfrau ninnies see that I've actually sent them, love J xoxox

 

[Smeghead]

I'd honestly be delighted to be corrected here if someone wants to highlight some nice photo prints of food that'd be good to frame and put up at home but in general who other than supermarkets puts big colour photos of food up on the walls? Is having a home that looks like the fresh produce aisle in Morrisons a thing? I realise half the Patreons are probably sympathy purchases but what are these perks intended to be for.

Parsnips are for life, not just for Christmas

 

[Minky McMoneypenny]

Whenever a squiggle is effusive with their praise, I think about sock puppet accounts. Obviously this couldn’t apply to all positive comments but it does cross my mind.

'Planetary friend' seems to be on the case of two more sock puppet accounts.

 

[Pixieboots]

I'd honestly be delighted to be corrected here if someone wants to highlight some nice photo prints of food that'd be good to frame and put up at home but in general who other than supermarkets puts big colour photos of food up on the walls? Is having a home that looks like the fresh produce aisle in Morrisons a thing? I realise half the Patreons are probably sympathy purchases but what are these perks intended to be for.

Suppose they might be okay in a kitchen. Maybe.

I don't know, I'm grasping at straws.

 

[jenny2603]

Parsnips are for life, not just for Christmas

Parsnips: Essex, her finest work since Celery:Edinburgh. A work so powerful I have to stifle a giggle every time I so much as hear celery mentioned

 

[ScamSandwich]

I also need to add that my last narc was then busy sueing her ex-partner, a massive red flag for me today but something I was unable to see back then...Surely the ex must have been really really awful to them!
She also did not work and always tried to get a career via her partners. She tried the same with me but I kept her at a distance from my professional life and that is when she started to go in fully blown narc rage.
The crushing thing was that she probably was never in love with me (ah well, narcs never really are) and never even fancied me but that she thought I could get her into employment. I felt so used and cheated on.

I'd honestly be delighted to be corrected here if someone wants to highlight some nice photo prints of food that'd be good to frame and put up at home but in general who other than supermarkets puts big colour photos of food up on the walls? Is having a home that looks like the fresh produce aisle in Morrisons a thing? I realise half the Patreons are probably sympathy purchases but what are these perks intended to be for.

There are many people like that!! They have food themes in kitchens. Someone I knew had the entire kitchen in a lemon theme.
Aisle of Morrison's

 

[Blurp]

I outed myself on a previous thread buttttt I like putting banana slices on top of my curry (the sweetness of the bananas go so well with a spicy curry) my family always have since I was a child.

Another tattler informed me that this is actually a Somali tradition.

I think I may have said this before but I grew up in the Middle East with Indian cooks. Curry was always served with small side dishes of sliced tomato, chutney, banana, desiccated coconut etc to add. My parents had a sort of stationary carousel of the dishes which I still have.

Nadiya has also said that her grandmother made an awesome chickpea and pineapple curry. However, I'll happily lay bets that her grandmother was 100 times better at cooking than Slopslinger.

 

[Captainmouse]

This reads like she's fundamentally misunderstood where the butter goes in a toastie. It goes on the outside of the slop container (bread) to make it crispy. Not on the inside to make it sloppier. She needs to urgently refamiliarise herself with butter. Or give it a go with (don't have nightmares) lard.

How can you not know how to make a toastie? I mean how hard is it? Jeez

 

[girolle]

I'd honestly be delighted to be corrected here if someone wants to highlight some nice photo prints of food that'd be good to frame and put up at home but in general who other than supermarkets puts big colour photos of food up on the walls? Is having a home that looks like the fresh produce aisle in Morrisons a thing? I realise half the Patreons are probably sympathy purchases but what are these perks intended to be for.

This is entirely my own view on the matter but I think that is such a rubbish Patreon reward. I am sure it takes time to take the photos, get them printed and organised etc but they look like the stock/default photos that come in frames you can buy from IKEA. My point is, I don't think that's really *special*, is it? She markets herself as a cook, so why not have *personal* touches to your rewards like cook-a-long masterclasses, Q and As, a recipe designed especially for you etc? There is the potential for the Patreon to be so much better and, yes, it would be a lot of work. In my opinion, I get the feeling she wants to send out postcards because if she spills all her secrets and ideas, it wouldn't take much for a normal person to do what she does and probably be better.

 

[ScamSandwich]

I think I may have said this before but I grew up in the Middle East with Indian cooks. Curry was always served with small side dishes of sliced tomato, chutney, banana, desiccated coconut etc to add. My parents had a sort of stationary carousel of the dishes which I still have.

Nadiya has also said that her grandmother made an awesome chickpea and pineapple curry. However, I'll happily lay bets that her grandmother was 100 times better at cooking than Slopslinger.

I also mentioned it before-Persian cuisine exquisitely combines fruit with savoury dishes. Absolutely divine. But then, one needs to be able to cook, which applies to all food..*whistling*...

This is entirely my own view on the matter but I think that is such a rubbish Patreon reward. I am sure it takes time to take the photos, get them printed and organised etc but they look like the stock/default photos that come in frames you can buy from IKEA. My point is, I don't think that's really *special*, is it? She markets herself as a cook, so why not have *personal* touches to your rewards like cook-a-long masterclasses, Q and As, a recipe designed especially for you etc? There is the potential for the Patreon to be so much better and, yes, it would be a lot of work. In my opinion, I get the feeling she wants to send out postcards because if she spills all her secrets and ideas, it wouldn't take much for a normal person to do what she does and probably be better.

She also thinks she is a really good photographer.

 

[Harrybosch]

Omg send out your fifty shades of shite crap instead of trying to muscle in on other people's ideas!

ETA more patreon postcards. No evidence of beige slop recipe cards yet.

View attachment 323400

Is that a drawing of a rat smashing into a wall?

 

[LittleMissMuffet]

I think I may have said this before but I grew up in the Middle East with Indian cooks. Curry was always served with small side dishes of sliced tomato, chutney, banana, desiccated coconut etc to add. My parents had a sort of stationary carousel of the dishes which I still have.

Nadiya has also said that her grandmother made an awesome chickpea and pineapple curry. However, I'll happily lay bets that her grandmother was 100 times better at cooking than Slopslinger.

Yes I remember! My dad would have chopped tomato and raw white onion (we wouldn’t touch that) and the other bowls would be banana and coconut. Happy memories

I also need to add that my last narc was then busy sueing her ex-partner, a massive red flag for me today but something I was unable to see back then...Surely the ex must have been really really awful to them!
She also did not work and always tried to get a career via her partners. She tried the same with me but I kept her at a distance from my professional life and that is when she started to go in fully blown narc rage.
The crushing thing was that she probably was never in love with me (ah well, narcs never really are) and never even fancied me but that she thought I could get her into employment. I felt so used and cheated on.


There are many people like that!! They have food themes in kitchens. Someone I knew had the entire kitchen in a lemon theme.
Aisle of Morrison's

Louisa...is that you...?