Jack Monroe #11 Look for the bare depressipes, the simple bare depressipes, forget about the tattlers and your wife

[Flumps]

Hooray, my plants are here @heretoreaditall2019 ... am going to unpack, then will provide photo.

I also have a hedge to trim (not a euphemism), and a cake to bake if I feel constructive enough, so must stop bitching on the internet.

Have a lovely day you awful people.

 

[MarmiteExtract]

12: Honest, m’lud it wasn’t tort — but the Sad Little Hausfrauen are off to court

 

[LennyBriscoe]

Super mega late to this party but I'd like to be played by Claire Danes, please.

Happy we're probably not being sued as individuals but will still plan court outfit just in case.

You’ll look “grate” in that costume I’m so sorry

 

[Ellabella]

As Saturday Kitchen ended I just noticed that Matt didn’t have his note cards that he needed when he did the daily show, main reason I noticed was because he had nothing to slam onto the bench with a huge sigh when the show ended!

Probably because he also needed to have Jack's lines in front of him to prompt her! "Jack, what's that Jack, Jack you next, JACK..."

 

[Nottonightbabe]

How much would that have costed to print off at home?!

I think she said she'd saved it to Google docs... Though before that she threatened 'us' that she'd printed the lot. Who knows with her

 

[OhhBacon]

Probably because he also needed to have Jack's lines in front of him to prompt her! "Jack, what's that Jack, Jack you next, JACK..."

That’s exactly what I thought! My opinion, your honour, I haven’t contacted any of the production team to ask them...but I assume that they will be called as witnesses.

 

[PennyLoafer]

I'm off for a walk in the sunshine then I'm going to make lasagne. But I don't have any lasagne sheets. Tattlers, could I use printer paper instead? x

 

[PoorPatrol]

Hooray, my plants are here @heretoreaditall2019 ... am going to unpack, then will provide photo.

I also have a hedge to trim (not a euphemism), and a cake to bake if I feel constructive enough, so must stop bitching on the internet.

Have a lovely day you awful people.

We’ve no doubt ALL got a hedge to trim. When that’s read out, your honour, it needs to be accompanied by cymbals, FYI.

 

[MarmiteExtract]

I'm off for a walk in the sunshine then I'm going to make lasagne. But I don't have any lasagne sheets. Tattlers, could I use printer paper instead? x

Yes absolutely x

 

[Excuse Me Laydeh!]

I think she said she'd saved it to Google docs... Though before that she threatened 'us' that she'd printed the lot. Who knows with her

Exactly....MORE lies!
And she has the audacity to accuse us tattlers of making things up!
Look love, NOTHING you say adds up what so ever!
Everything's constantly for dramatic effect.

 

[Miss Anne Thrope]

The very interesting word in that tweet from big Momma is KH made a mistake.

Oh my gosh, I didn't spot that the fan was her actual mother! Hmm, this explains a lot.

 

[PoorPatrol]

I'm off for a walk in the sunshine then I'm going to make lasagne. But I don't have any lasagne sheets. Tattlers, could I use printer paper instead? x

Yes, but you’ll need 8,000 sheets and some spunk. Substitute with actual posh béchamel if you must, but I’ve never tried it so

 

[Ellabella]

I'm off for a walk in the sunshine then I'm going to make lasagne. But I don't have any lasagne sheets. Tattlers, could I use printer paper instead? x

Yes definitely! And wallpaper paste in place of milk and flour.

 

[Excuse Me Laydeh!]

Oh my gosh, I didn't spot that the fan was her actual mother! Hmm, this explains a lot.

Lets not go down the mother route my loves. Jack's already gunning for us. We don't want to add fuel to the fire.

 

[PoorPatrol]

Yes definitely! And wallpaper paste in place of milk and flour.

Who has wallpaper paste, though? Jack is accessible to all doncha know. You get some wallpaper out of a skip, then paste it onto your crappy bungalow walls with tinned carrots mixed with oats. Bosh!

 

[princesssparklepants]

I'm off for a walk in the sunshine then I'm going to make lasagne. But I don't have any lasagne sheets. Tattlers, could I use printer paper instead? x

As long as you grate it

 

[emm]

Is that just ink?! Not even paper?! I’d sooner a pair of Gucci loafers tbh

I guess this is why she cannot afford fresh lemons

 

[Saint_clemmie]

I hope her lawyers are having the time of their lives reading through these threads. So pleased we can provide some lols for them during this time.

 

[Excuse Me Laydeh!]

I'm currently in a state of panic tattlers!
I don't know how to start a new thread and feel like we're breaking every tattle.life violation there is to break by posting here now!
Somebody release me from this hell, I'm begging of you!

 

[LennyBriscoe]

I’ve loved the Scottish food chatter! I read Deborah Orr’s book and found out what a piece and jam is.

Does anyone eat / enjoy black pudding or is that old school now? One of my earliest memories (and first of Ireland tbh) is crying in a butcher’s shop when an uncle was buying some and explained to me what it was, I was bleeping terrified of it!

When I was at primary school we took a “play piece” to have at break but I don’t know if that’s a regional thing.

I don’t like black pudding but my husband does. If we were having a full breakfast somewhere and he didn’t get black pudding, he’d be miffed. I like a tattie scone though