Jack Monroe #106 She’s ‘aving a carafe

HotesTilaire · Nov 17, 2020

“Be-my-friend” chocolate bars going down well. Some positive twitter off the back. Imagine how much there will be when PATREONs start getting the postcards they’ve been expecting for 2-3 months

Shesaidwhat? · Nov 17, 2020

Silver Linings said:
View attachment 313663

For someone last night who was saying she fell off the wagon & encouraging people who are struggling to buy a picture. She’s coming thick and fast with the alcohol infused recipes today.

Marmalade Atkins · Nov 17, 2020

I just ended up on page 62 of a Louise Cooney (who?) thread by accident. SO CONFUSING.

ChampagneBox · Nov 17, 2020

Montrachet said:

‘I just thought if you saw me you’d see I’m the sort to cut your face off and wear it as a mask’

TurnedUpInTipp · Nov 17, 2020

Shesaidwhat? said:
For someone last night who was saying she fell off the wagon & encouraging people who are struggling to buy a picture. She’s coming thick and fast with the alcohol infused recipes today.

But she has a picture now and all her addictions are under control because she can look at it above her computer.

ChickenPorridge · Nov 17, 2020

He kinda looks like her. Are we sure it's not her brother

Emmapism · Nov 17, 2020

Now singing 'any herb will doooooo' to myself as I make my dinner

Shesaidwhat? · Nov 17, 2020

Montrachet said:

For some bizarre reason I had a look at his Twitter account and I’ll be honest I want my mum

. Jack if this messages pops up on your next Twitter grunk. DO NOT give him any personal details about you.

TheDragonWithAFlagon · Nov 17, 2020

Lumpyspaceprincess said:
Also why isn’t bubble buddy giving her any money staying with her 4 nights a week but is being fed. That’s kind of crappy. If bubble buddy can’t cook she must spend a fortune on food normally so why she staying and eating for free

(Insert Jimmy Nail obvs)

More than 3 nights a week. That's enough to start paying full Council Tax.

I wonder how long she can keep this up to force BB into buying her the house she's always felt entitled to?

After all, the lease ends soon. If it isn't a rolling tenancy and can be ended at any time.

Got to make it absolutely VITAL for her LITERAL SAFETY that the 'visitor'/member of her 'little family' (like tit is it a casual thing with comments like that) ties herself to Jack for the next 30 years without a moment to stop and think what the duck is going on.

ChickenPorridge · Nov 17, 2020

TheDragonWithAFlagon said:
More than 3 nights a week. That's enough to start paying full Council Tax.

I wonder how long she can keep this up to force BB into buying her the house she's always felt entitled to?

After all, the lease ends soon. If it isn't a rolling tenancy and can be ended at any time.

Got to make it absolutely VITAL for her LITERAL SAFETY that the 'visitor'/member of her 'little family' (like tit is it a casual thing with comments like that) ties herself to Jack for the next 30 years without a moment to stop and think what the duck is going on.

I clocked that as well. She's a guest staying 4 nights a week just for lockdown without being asked for a penny, next morning she's a member of her little family. Something really odd going on with the house situation etc, all in the name of Jack keeping up the pretence that she's skint

TheDragonWithAFlagon · Nov 17, 2020

Captainmouse said:
restaurants I have consulted for is there a chain of slop for you?

Probably told Allegra at great length where she was going wrong with her 'Not a chain yet' restaurant.

Switchstreetz said:
You've inspired me to write Jack and the amazing sentient mirror:

I facetuned eyes,
blamed soft pink curtains,
talked shite for certain, and the fraus all knew.

I banged my shin, was howling and weeping
Cause BB was sleeping
Any chaos will do

I wore my scarf, Burberry's finest
Its from a puddle, honest
And the sideboards too!

So in Southend, the dawn was breaking
And the blue ticks waking
Any sleb will do

A gnash of teeth! A spiteful tweet!
My tv screw ups on repeat!
But when i blamed louisa for them,
I was LEFT alooooone

My bungalow, its cold and crappy,
The lasagne's minty
Cause any herb will do

The squiggles eat
Their eucalyptus curry
Yes absolutely
Any herb will do

X

(You'll have to imagine the brambly mice as backing choir)

No need for imagination.

Silver Linings · Nov 17, 2020

Walkdengirl · Nov 17, 2020

FrumpyCat said:
18k emails? Is the fabled admin assistant still furloughed?

Jack, you do know you can import a csv document into excel (just select, er, commas to separate the values) Mailmerge from there, print labels. No special equipment needed.

My son does our Christmas card list up like this so I can print the addresses, as we send well over a 100 cards this is a huge time saver for us (me actually as I write them all!). It's time for seeing who is on and off the list in the next few days.

Come on jack! its dead easy

LennyBriscoe · Nov 17, 2020

PunkyMonkey said:
I really hope she's not engaging with him. He might be perfectly sincere and friendly but it's probably best not to encourage that kind of thing, particularly as he appears to have no concept of boundaries.

I think it’s weird that people give her their addresses because she’s bought them a bag of Monster Munch!

Just because someone lives their life on Twitter doesn’t mean we really know them...

ChickenPorridge · Nov 17, 2020

Does that say call Marcus?

Silver Linings · Nov 17, 2020

ChickenPorridge said:
Does that say call Marcus?

Hi Marcus. It’s Jack, Jack Monroe. Accidental conqueror of fears, activist, mother. Monroe? Monroe, Jack Monroe. Ha! That reminds me of a great twitter thread I did........Marcus? Hello?

Captainmouse · Nov 17, 2020

TheDragonWithAFlagon said:
More than 3 nights a week. That's enough to start paying full Council Tax.

I wonder how long she can keep this up to force BB into buying her the house she's always felt entitled to?

After all, the lease ends soon. If it isn't a rolling tenancy and can be ended at any time.

Got to make it absolutely VITAL for her LITERAL SAFETY that the 'visitor'/member of her 'little family' (like tit is it a casual thing with comments like that) ties herself to Jack for the next 30 years without a moment to stop and think what the duck is going on.

But if she declares buddle, she will lose her single person discount

Silver Linings · Nov 17, 2020

Oh please. Shut the bleep up. You’ve been asleep all day.

spirals · Nov 17, 2020

Well that desk makes my ADHD brain feel absolutely panic stricken. I wouldn't be able to concentrate on anything.

FlowerOfTheEast · Nov 17, 2020

She could have ticked a fair few things off the to do list in the time it took to make that beautiful chart. And I say that as a terrible procrastinator myself. I know bullshit busy work when I see it!