Jack Monroe #106 She’s ‘aving a carafe

[Switchstreetz]

Hi Jack I've got some garlic, spices and a smudge of mustard downstairs, what type of vampire repellent can i make?

Should i be sprinkling it in a circle around me, do I bung the crucifix in a curry?? #lockyourdoorsandwindowslarder

(But seriously do not interact with that fan anymore have you not SEEN a daytime thriller movie?? Broad rule for twitter: if you suspect there's a non-zero percent chance that someone may wish to wear your skin as a hat, do not engage)

 

[TriviaNewtonJohn]

So she's not poor but living frugally. Why is she buying so much stuff then? How can life be such a performance.

 

[Scarletfever]

Her to do list from hell hasn't received a huge amount of likes.

I wonder if squiggles were shocked to see the rampant consumerism on display when they've been taken in by the £20 shop grift?

She's got enough stationery there to kit out an entire school year group.

Realistically she needs a pen, a laptop, a whiteboard, and a note book. All the rest is pure wastefulness.

 

[FeelingGroovy]

18,000 unread emails? Assuming that’s true (who knows), there could be offers of work that she’s now missed out on among that lot. She really is hopelessly unprofessional.

Yeah but 16,000 of those are receipts from Cotswold furniture purchases and the follow up marketing ones.

 

[ScamSandwich]

Just casually saying that it is so handy to accuse someone of a crime (!) if you think that your own unethical (at the least) dealings are to be unveiled...

So she's not poor but living frugally. Why is she buying so much stuff then? How can life be such a performance.

I find that hard to believe, too. And looking at the Mac, furniture etc...frugal means something else in my book.

 

[Minky McMoneypenny]

I'm working from home during lockdown (PA/office admin) and I very rarely even pick up a pen these days. Everything is on my pc. 'To do' items go in outlook calendar slots (don't even use tasks) and meetings via zoom or teams get notes typed up in real time in teams chat. It's marvellous!

 

[DinosaurSenior]

Re the impending court case:. Judge Judy always says " you have to come here with Clean. Hands. "

No feckin chance, on so many levels

 

[Lumpyspaceprincess]

So she's not poor but living frugally. Why is she buying so much stuff then? How can life be such a performance.

Most of the food isn’t even on the stupid £20 shop.
Was non vegan cheese on this weeks shop?

 

[Lanie]

What I don't get it people like nigella state.

Guys I am.... * Insert job description* then that's it from her until it needs advertising or she pops a wee tasty recipie on there as a teaser. She's doesn't write her life story on there and then moan
... People don't respect my privacy.

I can tell you thing, if she does make it big no one will want her autobiography because she's already told her life story enough times that people will be able to memorise it.

 

[Walkdengirl]

Please may I lounge in the hammock on moving day?

I've never successfully lain in a hammock. I tried to make one out of broom handles and macrame many years ago, and tied it to 2 metal clothes poles. It just kept spinning around and tipping me out, then I uprooted one of the poles.

I bought a hammock a similar time to her, however mine was much cheaper, and it's been packed away since the end of September as I don't want to spoil it

 

[ChickenPorridge]

That's the thing, she was outright asked by a squiggle if she was just doing the £20 shop as a job/research and she denied it. She went even further and made sad little comments about not being able to afford butter (I'm fine, don't worry about me). That's why we're here Jack, because it's deceptive and it's dishonest and you do it all publically and people have the right to call out things that are wrong. You're mad because you can't delete and block our comments and questions here.

 

[TurnedUpInTipp]

What I don't get it people like nigella state.

Guys I am.... * Insert job description* then that's it from her until it needs advertising or she pops a wee tasty recipie on there as a teaser. She's doesn't write her life story on there and then moan
... People don't respect my privacy.

I can tell you thing, if she does make it big no one will want her autobiography because she's already told her life story enough times that people will be able to memorise it.

There is never any deviation from 'The Story', she even uses almost precisely the same language with every telling.
It's because it's learned. It's lies.

 

[Incywincy]

I am CRYING at @blurstoftimes using "moist swine" to spoil the ol' CWH back in #95.... have tears rolling down my cheeks

 

[jenny2603]

What I don't get it people like nigella state.

Guys I am.... * Insert job description* then that's it from her until it needs advertising or she pops a wee tasty recipie on there as a teaser. She's doesn't write her life story on there and then moan
... People don't respect my privacy.

I can tell you thing, if she does make it big no one will want her autobiography because she's already told her life story enough times that people will be able to memorise it.

Oh that won't be a problem for our Jack, she'll simply invent some new anecdotes for the book "I was born with scales covering my body", " I lived under a skateboard until I was 7", "I invented the Welfare state", "An Ancestry DNA test reveals I am part octopus", "I lived in a communal skip on the driveway of a crappy bungalow", "I married a vampire I met online". The possibilities are limitless.

 

[ScamSandwich]

How does the all of a sudden statement of simply living frugally, not poor, fit in with her very recent publicly proclaimed fear that she might get her water turned off?Was that with the water a lie then?

Why does the bubble buddy not pay for food and why does she feed three people on 20£ a week? My friends do contribute when they know I don't have any money but they like to visit and have me cook for them, because I cook well. And if I have money but am simply being frugal I would either not go frugal on my friends but spend money for nice food for them or, if being frugal is more important than anything else, I would plan meals only for myself.

 

[Emmapism]

Every time she pleads poverty we have an awesome receipt. Jack saying truthfully that she does it for 'work'

Again it's work nobody wants her to do but still.

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

View attachment 314191

Where's sponsorbot gone? (£100 commission)

 

[TurnedUpInTipp]

Where's sponsorbot gone? (£100 commission)

Blended it and made Kombucha from it.

 

[HotesTilaire]

The thing with professional liars and a particular personality disorder is that everything is a lie. Of course the three of them aren’t living on £20 a week for food. And why believe BB isn’t contributing. Quite honestly at this point I’m willing to doubt whether she lives in Southend!

 

[ScamSandwich]

I'll let the lovely coven and everyone else in on some information why I am a bit scarred in regards to JMs behaviour.
I watched a few people over a few years never having any money or not enough money to spend it on...whatever. One was a friend of mine. Back then I earned a full time wage, not much but I could pay my bills, my rent for a room (!) go on holidays, mostly visiting relatives abroad though. I did not have any savings and often spent money on my friend who never seemed to have money, poor thing. Later, she was able to put a huge deposit forward to the apartment she bought. I RENT! Turned out she 'didn't have' money because she saved it all.

At the moment I am by definition poor. And while I had nearly no money at all I even contemplated donating into JMs tip jar. Nobody forced me but with all she said she very very much came across as someone who had even less to eat. I am not naive. But she nearly got me.

This is why I am here.