I nearly fell over when Jack posted the picture addressing @ Yel to prove it was actually her.
Jack Monroe #105 The slop thickens
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Eurgh I forgot that stupid ‘as a mod you should know from my email address’ tit. Anybody can open an email account. twit.
ah, such fond memories. although i was a mere lurker at the time. I was alone in the office, idly scrolling and I jumped out of my skin when she turned up all "THAT'S LIBEL!"
I've been, well not quite Grunka-ing because there's not a hope in hell of me catching up at the rate I'm reading, but plowing through the Jack threads since I discovered Tattle during the Jack in Edinburgh saga, and now that I'm at the point in my catch up where Jack has just arrived in Edinburgh, I figured it was a good and symbolic time to make the leap into another timeline and introduce myself here in the present. Thank you for entertaining me on my journey during these long lockdown evenings, may all of you be blessed with a Smeg of mysterious provenance and a DM slide from Matt and his forearms, you lovely and hilarious lot.
The thing that absolutely blew my mind was when I realised how much had happened in such a short space of time. It was when someone mentioned that Jack had only had that poor kitten for one or two weeks that I thought "I'm sorry? What?!" I thought those threads had covered at least a month or more! Then I went back and chose random pages on random previous threads and took note of the dates, and was shocked to discover that things that I had assumed to have happened months apart had actually happened weeks or even DAYS apart. I can't get over how utterly exhausting it must be to be or know Jack. More has happened to Jack in the few months between Daily Kitchen starting and setting up her tripod in Edinburgh than I think has happened in my entire life!
The thing that absolutely blew my mind was when I realised how much had happened in such a short space of time. It was when someone mentioned that Jack had only had that poor kitten for one or two weeks that I thought "I'm sorry? What?!" I thought those threads had covered at least a month or more! Then I went back and chose random pages on random previous threads and took note of the dates, and was shocked to discover that things that I had assumed to have happened months apart had actually happened weeks or even DAYS apart. I can't get over how utterly exhausting it must be to be or know Jack. More has happened to Jack in the few months between Daily Kitchen starting and setting up her tripod in Edinburgh than I think has happened in my entire life!
Plus we know she *literally* can’t go for a piss and a sandwich without announcing it so there’s no way she’d keep quiet about anything she was working on that would get her likes and publicity
“went for a piss before my sandwich, realised after sitting down there was no loo roll because I’m SUCH a chaos! So I shouted to BB (did I mention I have a housemate currently see I have friends and people like me and want to live with me), I shouted that I had no loo roll and BB was like ha! Classic Jack!”
then follows a thread about whether her followers use 2 or 3-ply toilet paper, stand or sit to wipe, whether they only pull their traaazers to the knee or all the way to the ankle etc etc until we all die of eye rolls. Fin.
OMG, the nails, even there!
The hum dinking nails are the only thing she's consistent with!OMG, the nails, even there!
She looks so pleased with herself in this photo. Obviously thought she was about to destroy us all with her rapier wit and truthbombs. Instead we got 'piss and a sandwich' and 'my phones are charging in the hall, ACTUALLY!'
Then squiggles fall over themselves to paypal her money for loo roll, and a mysterious stranger leaves a packet of Andrex on her door step.
Awwww, fun times.
My favourite part of thread 31 is the bit where she says you’re all ‘mithering on about stuff you know duck all about’ (she was posting on a laptop don’t you know). A bit harsh because you were talking about ice lollies at the time and your lolly opinions were really quite sound.
I know loads of people who set up emails addresses that had nothing to do with their name. [email protected] etc by the way fictional email.
I'm a shortarse according to my father (5'3" in a family of tall people) and I spend my life fetching steps to get things out of wall cupboards. However, while I may be covered in bruises and walk into things all the time, it's mainly a result of my diagnosed dyspraxia rather than my height, and I would argue that falling off said steps is a product of both.
Oh gods, I've just given twit another neuro-diversive thing to claim haven't I?
Marcus should be applauded for how he's spending his money. When you know your career window will be short (and 1 bad tackle could end it tomorrow) it pays to be careful, no matter how much you have coming in today. Something Jack should have thought of before begging for money from people on benefits.
That 2 million wouldn't buy too many crappy bungalows though.
That 2 million wouldn't buy too many crappy bungalows though.
Even then she filtered her face (look at the glow on her eye). Raging narc!
What’s THIS?!?!?!?!???
I really must make a will too, primarily to settle my dogs and cats. The only time I've ever made one was a battlefield will, made during a mobilisation exercise as a reservist but that does concentrate ones mind wonderfully.
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