Jack Monroe #103 Take her as she is or leave her be

[People-huv-tae-know]

Jack is in annoying goblin mode. She just keeps digging that hole deeper. I really hope SB has a fantastic life with his dad and siblings.

Fauna. Omg I hadn't spotted that. Maybe it was a tiny little deer

Or a tiny little dear hart

 

[Puddy Muddle]

I'm late joining you all today but this is the book Jack wants to write and it's already been done.
So, back in your box, Jack. There is no niche here for you.

Thread title contender? Jack Monroe: Back-in-ya-box!

Not only where we'd like to put her/her manic tendency to leap up and do a chaos before disappearing I WAS NEVER HERE NOTHING TO SEE THAT TWEET NEVER EVEN EXISTED-style, but also vague allusions to Bubble Buddy?

Don't mind me. I never met a good metaphor I couldn't beat to within an inch of its life.

 

[Themaninblack]

Fauna. Omg I hadn't spotted that. Maybe it was a tiny little deer

Or perhaps Dr Jackenstein's experiments with pistachio milk have borne an awful fruit? Book number something: Cooking with Triffids (forthcoming).

 

[Charitas]

Vlad has suggested via an audible ad that I listen to personality disorders for dummies and how Women can stop drinking. Am mortally offended! Stop drinking I work nights, I barely get to start and the PPE gets in the way.

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

She is truly awful about her child. Just awful. She ought to be grateful for a healthy child
So many of us have children that were not born healthy. So many people struggle to conceive and yearn to have a child but never do have one.

For a long time I have felt she is a truly crappy mother who is not above verbal abuse and manipulation of her child. Of course I have no proof, just a gut feeling based on her horrible tweets about her beautiful wee boy. She never hid his face in tabloid publications either and has subjected him to all the drama and upheaval her failed relationships over the years.

Yep, all of this. The way she speaks about this poor child actually boils my blood on a level with what she did to that poor terminally ill kitten. A happy healthy pregnancy & birth is a blessing beyond words, I don’t think for a minute women should not discuss their ailments and side effects and tbh a huge failing in post natal care is they tend to focus 100% on baby and very little on mum so there is value in discussing this stuff, but not in the context of depriving your child of nice things as you’re still resentful a decade on...? Yet again she misses the mark.

Sorry to repeat it but she is truly demonic. Probably eligible for an exorcism. She makes me want to wake my baby up for a massive cuddle, it upsets me that not every baby in the world will be made to feel like a little superstar

 

[ChickenPorridge]

I read this article this morning, wondered how long it would take her to wade in with 'corrections'. Loads of her recipes say they serve 4+.

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

ETA sorry to duplicate @ChickenPorridge x

Is there anything she won’t try and claim? Let the poor bleeping bloke and his article exist in peace ffs. This is also around 2.40am, another night on the dib dabs ey

 

[ChickenPorridge]

Lifted these from the last 3 recipes she's posted today alone, lol

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

For those who don’t want to read it, this is where she’s mentioned. Ahead of the JM reference he does refer to those god awful ~savvy mum feeds family of 6 on £30 a week~ articles you see doing the rounds, which much like JM’s £20 for 70 frozen meals, just confound the idea those suffering from food poverty brought it on themselves by not being as good as these good poorsTM Which is obviously abhorrent and entirely false before JM print screens this for her own ends, but it’s a shame the author didn’t note she is just as guilty of perpetuating these right wing myths as the sun etc!

 

[Puddy Muddle]

If something has already been commissioned, in book parlance does that mean she’s been paid some kind of retainer? Or advance or whatever?

Professional writer here, fiction rather than n-f, Australia rather than the UK, but I've published hither and yon and am pretty sure this means she's signed a contract and been paid an advance. Advances here are usually split into two parts - half on signing, half on delivery of final manuscript, final ms meaning something essentially publication-ready, not some bs notes you've scratched out on your Nokia. If you fail to deliver, publisher can require you to return the first part of the advance. Size of advance is usually a function of projected sales, which would be calculated with some reference to sales of previous work as well as other market conditions & general blah blah.

 

[lilamay]

If the poverty porn opus has been canned, I sincerely bleeping hope she compensates the people who were good enough to share their stories with her.

Reminds me - I wonder what happened to all the people she apparently commissioned for the never-heard-of-again Healthy on a Bootstrap. Hope they didn't waste too much of their time. I imagine she got lots of ideas from their initial contributions for free though.

 

[Oofadoofa]

ETA sorry to duplicate @ChickenPorridge x



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Is there anything she won’t try and claim? Let the poor bleeping bloke and his article exist in peace ffs. This is also around 2.40am, another night on the dib dabs ey

She's trying to get a gig on Unherd.

 

[Harrybosch]

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Fauna??? What the duck was in her finger?

ETA I'm behind. Of course you spotted this already.

 

[Boyo]

She loses her temper when anyone comments that something she's tweeted about isn't ethically sourced/plastic free/whatever so between that and her general, eh, output, it's difficult to imagine her writing an ethical consumer book that's properly researched unless it's a Veganish style nod to the lifestyle cash grab.

Book 9: Ethical-ish.

Hi James. Absolutely not nitpicking but you appear to not have mentioned me at all, so that scraping sound you can hear is me crowbarring myself into the exact middle of what you’re doing. You’re welcome. X

 

[Dogmuck]

Jack dealing with the remnants of the splinter extraction
#lumberjack

 

[Silver Linings]

 

[lilamay]

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Surely you'd finish decorating them before you took the main photo? And why has she put an asterisk in the word 'Tarts'?

 

[Into_the_tunnel]

She's trying to get a gig on Unherd.

I’m not going to go too much into this article because he talks a lot about a lot of things and bounces all over the place with his points.

All I can say is that when I was on my knees with teaching I was either self-medicating with alcohol (many moons ago) or with junk food (more recently). When my life fell apart a year ago, I was not able to cook, only eat what can be described as shite in plastic. I am paying for it now.

It is reductive and patronising to say that a lack of food education is the reason why poverty results in poor food choices.

 

[GoLando]

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Rarely seen anything so joyless.

 

[PunkyMonkey]

OT but can I just apologise in case my post about maternal aftercare came off as flippant or dismissive?

(I am AUTISTIC though so it's not my fault.)

I did not mean to imply that C-sections are a piece of cake, I was responding to the comment about "severed abdominal muscles" ten years ago because (as a midwife has already said) that never happened.

What I meant to get across was how much better things are NOW because back THEN my mother had an emergency op to get me out due to pesky heart stoppages and it really did permanently damage her. I did not mean that birth is a walk in the park and I know that there are huge issues around aftercare, so I'm very sorry.

I heartily agree with the Pilates suggestions, all mums should (in an ideal world) have physio for abs and pelvic floor because it makes a world of difference and "women's" physiotherapists are lifechangers.

Now I shall duck off and abuse some kale.