Jack Monroe #102 Stop getting Bond wrong!

[Ellabella]

I still don't understand why Dear Jack didn't do any cooking with 'BB' during the two years they lived together? I wonder if it was a condition of her moving back in? Louisa wanted them to do things together, didn't want Jack on Twitter all night (going well then). The skip was 100% part of it, the mess and utter crap Jack surrounds herself with makes my skin crawl.

 

[LavaFlake]

Yep! All of this! Jackie is SO lucky most of her work can be done remotely & if not, outside of peak commuting hours so she’s never had to think about these things? @discokebab said it perfectly, this is peak gammon discourse. No one can be 100% ~environmental 100% all of the time, but you do have to listen and work towards what you and your family can manage? I didn’t know that about asparagus so now it’s something I’ll bear in mind. It’s not a personal attack it’s a learning opportunity, she’s so weirdly vexed at everything? Like sorry you don’t have the fleet of vehicles you want sweetie but stop being mean to people

Also whilst we’re here she chooses to buy from fast fashion retailers who have appalling environmental and human track records! I would never usually point this out as it’s usually a classist af gammon statement and I appreciate that clothing is the lowest of priorities for families but if you’ve got £350 for a scarf you don’t need to be buying a mesh PLT dress to wear once to a virtual awards ceremony do you

She is clearly a massive consumer that buys "stuff" to fill the void. The cat gif mask from Amazon and that noise cancelling pillow thing (the og post of the JM threads) being key examples.

Honestly, it's so easy to engage in retail therapy when down. I think so many of us have done, and you have to unlearn being a rampant consumer. But for her to then say she's environmentalist? Lol ok.

 

[Captainmouse]

I am sure somebody posted a vegan society thing recently which stated they had removed her from their list as she’s not vegan, but I couldn’t find it

 

[Clarends]

On the morning Grunk and just to add my joy to those in favour of Enviro-Squiggle and how much of a rude berk JM was. I am involved in environmental causes because I'm bleeping terrified of the future and JM bringing up the "Do you drive?" was straight from the Gammon Playbook. Reserve the right to do whatever they want no matter because an eco-conscious person commits the sin of owning a car or not wearing sandals made from repurposed cork-board and discarded fishing twine.

Could have just skipped straight to the 'my friend did something nice for me' which is how I frame things that pain my tiny, stony, green corkboard heart and missed being v. rude.

Absobluddylutely. No blame no shame. Am also terrified for the future. Smug Jack hasn't a clue

 

[Mustard]

I just got a recipe from Mom into my inbox for Golden Egg Curry. She’s also given credit for it to someone else.

 

[lilamay]

I am sure somebody posted a vegan society thing recently which stated they had removed her from their list as she’s not vegan, but I couldn’t find it

I think that was Veganuary.

Ah - found it!

Thanks to @Bobtheknob

 

[Nottonightbabe]

The do you drive isn’t the gotcha moment she thinks it is tbh, it just yet again shows how ignorant she is to anyone’s plight but her own fabricated one?

Maybe she should take some time to familiarise herself with Louisa’s back catalogue of work tbh. Ch4 news did a really interesting feature on kids in rural areas and how they were being excluded from further education & work because of a lack of affordable and reliable bus routes! Like one kid couldn’t go to college because there wasn’t a bus to take them there?!! Bus prices outside of London (can’t remember why but I think everything else was sold off?) can be shocking too, so many can’t afford it. If you’re working outside the home with kids having a car is likely cheaper than relying on public transport, and definitely easier.

If funds permitted she’d be in a Land Rover like mummy though and that’s where this resentment stems from!

Oh transport in rural areas is a huge problem for young people trying to find work etc. Where I live, we had one remaining bus link which connected us to two of the nearest towns, ran once an hour. Did require walking down to, and crossing a very busy and dangerous dual carriageway but still it was there.

That has now been removed, so there's nothing here now. If you want to go into the nearest town, it would require a taxi there and back, which would set you back around 40 quid.

We have one shop here in walking distance, a nice but pricey farm shop. So all her woe is me, can't walk to Aldi it's too far blah blah doesn't bleeping wash tbh!

 

[HarderFaster]

Just trying to iron out the creases in the Jack-time continuum for my own sake, and as I’m feeling particularly schadenfreude-y this morning I’ll just remind you lovely frauen and herren, that in the 36 hours since she smugly tweeted about how unapologetically living one’s best life was the greatest way to stick it to us tragic trolls, she has done nothing but complain about incredibly minor-to-non-existent ailments, engage in futile Twitter arguments about James Bond and asparagus, and look for tank videos (?!) on YouTube.

If this is her living life to the full I’d really hate to see her at a low ebb.

 

[Nottonightbabe]

I was doubting her tales of extreme poverty already, but today has really made me think she’s made most of it up and once 10 years ago only had £50 to last her to the end of the week or something. She’s got 2 very minor and possibly fake injuries, been told that a vegetable she’s using has a high carbon footprint this time of year...and she’s written the day off and acting like her life is over? If she had actually been so destitute that she’d had to sell her lightbulbs and turn to sex work then I think she would have literally died.

Totally agree with this. I think with everything Jack says, every single tale of woe, you have to dial it right down a good few notches to get an accurate picture of what actually happened. She clearly can't help but exaggerate even the tiniest of things that happen to her.

 

[JoyceDivision]

Totally agree with this. I think with everything Jack says, every single tale of woe, you have to dial it right down a good few notches to get an accurate picture of what actually happened. She clearly can't help but exaggerate even the tiniest of things that happen to her.

She is exceptionally talented...

at making the truth sound like a lie.

 

[Into_the_tunnel]

I agree with all your comments on bus services... where I am there is plenty of provision but go 20 minutes outside the town into the villages and it is like you fall off a cliff with the numbers of buses available per day.

However, surely she is in a pretty well-provided for area? Please can southerners correct me if I am wrong, I haven’t been south of Wetherby services in a while.

A bit of Monday googling has also shown that the nearest urgent care centre to her is 8 miles not 18.

 

[Veronicaaa]

Just trying to iron out the creases in the Jack-time continuum for my own sake, and as I’m feeling particularly schadenfreude-y this morning I’ll just remind you lovely frauen and herren, that in the 36 hours since she smugly tweeted about how unapologetically living one’s best life was the greatest way to stick it to us tragic trolls, she has done nothing but complain about incredibly minor-to-non-existent ailments, engage in futile Twitter arguments about James Bond and asparagus, and look for tank videos (?!) on YouTube.

If this is her living life to the full I’d really hate to see her at a low ebb.

Fully expect us to be staring down the barrel of day 2 of #splintergate as well.

 

[blurstoftimes]

I am so glad that Alan is finally in one of the thread titles but i can hardly take credit! i think @Alansbigplate summoned this Bond chaos with the power of her gifs.

After her cuntiness yesterday (poor asparagus squiggle - wtf) i'm going to enjoy her inevitably terrible performance on the guardian even more. It amazes me how someone's complete lack of charisma and likability can just ooze through the screen. Her natural disposition makes me itch, she even makes me cringe when she's just standing there. But sadly She'll probably cancel for an emergency trip to have her splintered finger amputated.

 

[Veronicaaa]

@kachoochoo one for the list! This was on the sweet and sour soup insta post.

 

[Captainmouse]

I think that was Veganuary.

Ah - found it!
View attachment 304323

Thanks to @Bobtheknob

Thanks also nice to know I didn’t imagine it

 

[ScamSandwich]

Yeah, I didn't realise it was a double fridge either. bleeping hell!

PS what about the environmental impact of all her stuff? It's been noted here before that she uses non-recyclable jiffy bags. If the beige recipe cards existed, they'd be needless crap. She hoardes a huge amount of junk, too, which is all unnecessary.

Just looking at MY fridge...I inherited it from the previous tenant (I RENT) when I moved in 15 years ago. Even the lovely and compassionate Frauen would have a laugh looking at it, I would , too.

Also, those aluminium containers she uses !!

 

[xoxo]

I do wonder sometimes if Jack has confused a bin with a letterbox, maybe she has been merrily posting all her packages for her adoring fans directly into a dustbin? Cos it seems like A LOT of stuff goes missing, and I doubt the postal workers can be arsed to pinch umpteen copies of her book/postcards/random chocolate bars.

Anyway, I hope squiggle gets their postcards soon, they should get the items they've paid for.

 

[Veronicaaa]

View attachment 304367
View attachment 304368

I do wonder sometimes if Jack has confused a bin with a letterbox, maybe she has been merrily posting all her packages for her adoring fans directly into a dustbin? Cos it seems like A LOT of stuff goes missing, and I doubt the postal workers can be arsed to pinch umpteen copies of her book/postcards/random chocolate bars.

Anyway, I hope squiggle gets their postcards soon, they should get the items they've paid for.

Didn't squiggle get the patreon memo that the first rule of missing postcards is you do not talk about missing postcards?

 

[xoxo]

Didn't squiggle get the patreon memo that the first rule of missing postcards is you do not talk about missing postcards?

We need our Patreon spy to update us with any histrionics that happen over there...

 

[Minky McMoneypenny]

What always baffles me is why the fook can't she get the three trains of whatever it is to the drs and get sorted rather than moan to twitter. I mean what else has she got to do. She could tweet from the train. Look a sheep?! Look another sheep?! Look a man on the train who looks like an asshole. It could be alittle adventure.

Or she could ask her dad/brother/friends/buddle for a lift?