Jack Monroe #102 Stop getting Bond wrong!

[discokebab]

On the morning Grunk and just to add my joy to those in favour of Enviro-Squiggle and how much of a rude berk JM was. I am involved in environmental causes because I'm bleeping terrified of the future and JM bringing up the "Do you drive?" was straight from the Gammon Playbook. Reserve the right to do whatever they want no matter because an eco-conscious person commits the sin of owning a car or not wearing sandals made from repurposed cork-board and discarded fishing twine.

Could have just skipped straight to the 'my friend did something nice for me' which is how I frame things that pain my tiny, stony, green corkboard heart and missed being v. rude.

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

Omg I couldnt believe the price of the buses where I am now. Proper rip off. Thank god for Oyster cards man!

I went to a wedding up north, it didn’t have parking, for the four of us it was cheaper to get a cab there from husband’s mum’s house & back than a bus!! And obviously saves you the faff of waiting 20+ minutes for a bus because they don’t get the same levels of service up there!

But the point being not everyone in this country has a homogenous experience and comrade Jackie should think about the barriers preventing some people from using public transport, comparatively it’s easy to not spend more money on out of season veg. Also hold up as a disabled activist herself surely Jackie should really understand the importance of having a car to some families?! Her politics are trash!

 

[bignose28]

As a frau-come-lately I've only ever been witness to distraught, abandoned, heartbroken Jack

Was preparing myself for loved-up-blissful-bubble Jack being insufferably smug at the privilege of a "lockdown" setup that enabled her to see so many of her nearest and dearest. Nervously (naively) bracing myself for Happy Jack to materialise and torment us.

What materialised? Atrociously miserable sore-finger Jack arseing about Bond movies and tanks and stepping on glass on Twitter.

Plus ca change...

 

[LavaFlake]

The do you drive isn’t the gotcha moment she thinks it is tbh, it just yet again shows how ignorant she is to anyone’s plight but her own fabricated one?

Maybe she should take some time to familiarise herself with Louisa’s back catalogue of work tbh. Ch4 news did a really interesting feature on kids in rural areas and how they were being excluded from further education & work because of a lack of affordable and reliable bus routes! Like one kid couldn’t go to college because there wasn’t a bus to take them there?!! Bus prices outside of London (can’t remember why but I think everything else was sold off?) can be shocking too, so many can’t afford it. If you’re working outside the home with kids having a car is likely cheaper than relying on public transport, and definitely easier.

If funds permitted she’d be in a Land Rover like mummy though and that’s where this resentment stems from!

Spot on! Plus, what about disabled people who cannot easily access public transport? My MIL had a motability car for years and it was her lifeline for getting around and living her life.

In an ideal situation we'd all get accessible, free public transport but at the moment its Rupert Murdoch's world and we're just living in it and that certainly isn't the priority of his organisation or relative governments.

I have a car because I live in a relatively rural area with poor public transport links. When COVID is over, if I want to get to the office it would take almost two hours. If I drive, it takes 30. No brainer. And I don't even drive a Ford Kia x

 

[Lumpyspaceprincess]

I didn’t think her twitter could get more dull... great job reeling all those TV producers in to your exciting content though...

 

[Veronicaaa]

The FANCY fridge has been noticed

Ah OK, I (foolishly) didn't realise that this was a double fronted fridge (not sure if that's the right term but whatever) when she posted the pic of it. So that means that when everyone was asking 'where's your other stuff' and she was answering 'in the door' she was again being completely disingenuous because the fact is, it's probably all in the second unit and she just didn't want to admit how large the fridge is! The way her photo is taken, too, is cropped so that you can't see the left hand bit of the fridge, because that would indicate it's just half of the unit itself.
ETA also the reason the fridge is in the hall / large foyer is not because of the temperature of the kitchen, is it? It's because it's too freaking HUGE to fit into her kitchen.

 

[GoLando]

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How can you be so sure something is infected which happened that day? I thought it would take a good few days to show proper signs of infection. More likely it hurts because she’s been digging at it all day.

 

[jenny2603]

What always baffles me is why the fook can't she get the three trains of whatever it is to the drs and get sorted rather than moan to twitter. I mean what else has she got to do. She could tweet from the train. Look a sheep?! Look another sheep?! Look a man on the train who looks like an asshole. It could be alittle adventure.

Ah but remember that time she fell under a train, with Jacks luck she's probably safer howling in the crappy bungalow.

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

Spot on! Plus, what about disabled people who cannot easily access public transport? My MIL had a motability car for years and it was her lifeline for getting around and living her life.

In an ideal situation we'd all get accessible, free public transport but at the moment its Rupert Murdoch's world and we're just living in it and that certainly isn't the priority of his organisation or relative governments.

I have a car because I live in a relatively rural area with poor public transport links. When COVID is over, if I want to get to the office it would take almost two hours. If I drive, it takes 30. No brainer. And I don't even drive a Ford Kia x

Yep! All of this! Jackie is SO lucky most of her work can be done remotely & if not, outside of peak commuting hours so she’s never had to think about these things? @discokebab said it perfectly, this is peak gammon discourse. No one can be 100% ~environmental 100% all of the time, but you do have to listen and work towards what you and your family can manage? I didn’t know that about asparagus so now it’s something I’ll bear in mind. It’s not a personal attack it’s a learning opportunity, she’s so weirdly vexed at everything? Like sorry you don’t have the fleet of vehicles you want sweetie but stop being mean to people

Also whilst we’re here she chooses to buy from fast fashion retailers who have appalling environmental and human track records! I would never usually point this out as it’s usually a classist af gammon statement and I appreciate that clothing is the lowest of priorities for families but if you’ve got £350 for a scarf you don’t need to be buying a mesh PLT dress to wear once to a virtual awards ceremony do you

 

[Charitas]

New thread so can’t quote but dearheart Frau @Charitas has suggested ‘looking up a proper recipe’ for buerre blanc and therefore missed the idea that when we non squiggles cook one of Jack’s recipes it is not because we want a proper version; it’s because we are intrigued about whether her abomination of one could possibly work.

I am newish please forgive my transgressions. For scientific rigour however, I recommend making Jack's version and a more traditional one so as to have something to compare it too

 

[Fruitjack]

Quoting myself here to call out my own fake news. I just went back to the Vegan Society to see which recipes they'd used and they've gone. They were definitely there though. So I wonder if they have been called out and removed because they have a policy of posting recipes only from vegan cooks? (I don't know that they do, I am guessing, all the others they highlight are from vegans).

Can anyone point me to the receipt from when she said what she earned from Hellman’s?

incidentally I notice the vegan society have been showcasing some of her recipes over the last few weeks so that’s another source of income alongside the Guardian and Express articles, the patreon, the website adverts etc

 

[Themaninblack]

Oh god, also who describes themselves as a 'talking head'?? The CRINGE is real!

Someone who doesn't want to be accused of talking out of their arse?

Pedantic English teacher MIB adds: If there is an infection (which is not entirely certain) it's her finger, not the splinter, which is infected.

 

[discokebab]

Yep! All of this! Jackie is SO lucky most of her work can be done remotely & if not, outside of peak commuting hours so she’s never had to think about these things? @discokebab said it perfectly, this is peak gammon discourse. No one can be 100% ~environmental 100% all of the time, but you do have to listen and work towards what you and your family can manage? I didn’t know that about asparagus so now it’s something I’ll bear in mind. It’s not a personal attack it’s a learning opportunity, she’s so weirdly vexed at everything? Like sorry you don’t have the fleet of vehicles you want sweetie but stop being mean to people

Also whilst we’re here she chooses to buy from fast fashion retailers who have appalling environmental and human track records! I would never usually point this out as it’s usually a classist af gammon statement and I appreciate that clothing is the lowest of priorities for families but if you’ve got £350 for a scarf you don’t need to be buying a mesh PLT dress to wear once to a virtual awards ceremony do you

Bueno.

 

[Veronicaaa]

Yep! All of this! Jackie is SO lucky most of her work can be done remotely & if not, outside of peak commuting hours so she’s never had to think about these things? @discokebab said it perfectly, this is peak gammon discourse. No one can be 100% ~environmental 100% all of the time, but you do have to listen and work towards what you and your family can manage? I didn’t know that about asparagus so now it’s something I’ll bear in mind. It’s not a personal attack it’s a learning opportunity, she’s so weirdly vexed at everything? Like sorry you don’t have the fleet of vehicles you want sweetie but stop being mean to people

Also whilst we’re here she chooses to buy from fast fashion retailers who have appalling environmental and human track records! I would never usually point this out as it’s usually a classist af gammon statement and I appreciate that clothing is the lowest of priorities for families but if you’ve got £350 for a scarf you don’t need to be buying a mesh PLT dress to wear once to a virtual awards ceremony do you

I also wonder about the environmental impact of her many fridges / freezers / microwaves etc.

 

[Emmapism]

I didn’t think her twitter could get more dull... great job reeling all those TV producers in to your exciting content though...

 

[Alansbigplate]

Spot on! Plus, what about disabled people who cannot easily access public transport? My MIL had a motability car for years and it was her lifeline for getting around and living her life.

In an ideal situation we'd all get accessible, free public transport but at the moment its Rupert Murdoch's world and we're just living in it and that certainly isn't the priority of his organisation or relative governments.

I have a car because I live in a relatively rural area with poor public transport links. When COVID is over, if I want to get to the office it would take almost two hours. If I drive, it takes 30. No brainer. And I don't even drive a Ford Kia x

 

[ReginaPhalangee]

I was doubting her tales of extreme poverty already, but today has really made me think she’s made most of it up and once 10 years ago only had £50 to last her to the end of the week or something. She’s got 2 very minor and possibly fake injuries, been told that a vegetable she’s using has a high carbon footprint this time of year...and she’s written the day off and acting like her life is over? If she had actually been so destitute that she’d had to sell her lightbulbs and turn to sex work then I think she would have literally died.

 

[MancBee]

Nice to see some separate elements on the plate, and tbf this recipe seems OK, but god the photo's awfully pixelated. She's credited it to a photographer called Susan Bell, whose other photography looks great quality, so one can only assume it's Jack's doing. I reckon that while adding on the text, she saved it as a much lower quality file. The photographer must have cringed when she saw it.

How she overlooks something so important is beyond me. She's been doing this for years now and her output is still more amateur than a food tech student's.

View attachment 304276

That looks dryer than a nun's chuff. Where's the (non rinsed) beans, or tomatoes?

I like a bit of what was known in our house as "wet" with my meals! No peas, no gravy, no curry sauce? Have they nowt moist? (Thanks to Peter Kay for that one)

 

[colouredlines]

Ah OK, I (foolishly) didn't realise that this was a double fronted fridge (not sure if that's the right term but whatever) when she posted the pic of it. So that means that when everyone was asking 'where's your other stuff' and she was answering 'in the door' she was again being completely disingenuous because the fact is, it's probably all in the second unit and she just didn't want to admit how large the fridge is! The way her photo is taken, too, is cropped so that you can't see the left hand bit of the fridge, because that would indicate it's just half of the unit itself.
ETA also the reason the fridge is in the hall / large foyer is not because of the temperature of the kitchen, is it? It's because it's too freaking HUGE to fit into her kitchen.

Yeah, I didn't realise it was a double fridge either. bleeping hell!

PS what about the environmental impact of all her stuff? It's been noted here before that she uses non-recyclable jiffy bags. If the beige recipe cards existed, they'd be needless crap. She hoardes a huge amount of junk, too, which is all unnecessary.

 

[lilamay]

That looks dryer than a nun's chuff. Where's the (non rinsed) beans, or tomatoes?

I like a bit of what was known in our house as "wet" with my meals! No peas, no gravy, no curry sauce? Have they nowt moist? (Thanks to Peter Kay for that one)

Maybe one's supposed to pour the cup of tea over it?