If I pull a muscle laughing too hard at one of these one day God help me I will triangulate and sue you a la Monroe
this is bloody hilarious 
Jack Monroe #102 Stop getting Bond wrong!
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this is bloody hilarious 
Sorry to go back to earlier today, but isn’t this carefully worded in a way that suggests that she made the pizza base? Cos I have a feeling it was purchased...
That Twitter handle mooted to be her, crysanth0s, did it disappear very soon after it was called out? Can’t find it on Twitter now. Nice use of a Greek name too...
ETA it looks like a Greek speaker used that handle until 2011, she signed up with it April 2020, I wonder how many more alt Twitter accounts will come out of the woodwork...
That Twitter handle mooted to be her, crysanth0s, did it disappear very soon after it was called out? Can’t find it on Twitter now. Nice use of a Greek name too...
ETA it looks like a Greek speaker used that handle until 2011, she signed up with it April 2020, I wonder how many more alt Twitter accounts will come out of the woodwork...
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We should probably come up with some new injuries for her to fake, keep things exciting. I'm going for the following:
1. Hit by a stray tennis ball.
2. Bitten by a mad horse.
3. Trips and lands headfirst in a skip.
4. Unspecified boating incident
5. Steps on a mousetrap.
6. Flattened by a runaway trampoline.
7. Slips on a giant grape.
8. Is accidentally catapulted from a see saw
9. Punched by Judith Chalmers
10. Stubs toe on a hibernating tortoise.
Trapped under dead cow thrown off a bridge by angry farmers.
Piercing her foot on a spiiiiiike.
Unspecified damage inflicted by a cup o beans.
I honestly want to break into a football style chant. Go away go away go away.
repeat
why can’t she just step away from twitter and realise what an annoyance she is.
who cares! Who cares about the slop!
who cares about mushroom dust
who cares about her ex
who cares about her denim shirt
Just stay off Twitter for a day!
repeat
why can’t she just step away from twitter and realise what an annoyance she is.
who cares! Who cares about the slop!
who cares about mushroom dust
who cares about her ex
who cares about her denim shirt
Just stay off Twitter for a day!
Burns tongue off on a scalding peach chunk
Traps top lip in a jar of Nutella
Bruises Mediterranean arse with post office door
Loses toes in freak field mouse attack
Snarls her nose out of place
Traps top lip in a jar of Nutella
Bruises Mediterranean arse with post office door
Loses toes in freak field mouse attack
Snarls her nose out of place
Pissing myself at "Do you drive, Amanda?"
Is the fact she doesn't drive her get out of jail free card that means she is untouchable in her environmental credentials?
Fuckkkkkkkkk Offfffffffffffffffffffff you haughty witch, it's none of your bleeping business how Amanda gets around! Respond to her point, or just ignore it! Stop attempting to personalise it and start a pile on.
Love that no-one has leapt to her defence, usually there's a least a few JM cultists to hand.
Also, when she says that Mickey Bubbles has seen the tweet about the asparagus food miles, I sooooo wish squiggle had replied with AlanPartridgeShrugging.gif
Is the fact she doesn't drive her get out of jail free card that means she is untouchable in her environmental credentials?
Fuckkkkkkkkk Offfffffffffffffffffffff you haughty witch, it's none of your bleeping business how Amanda gets around! Respond to her point, or just ignore it! Stop attempting to personalise it and start a pile on.
Love that no-one has leapt to her defence, usually there's a least a few JM cultists to hand.
Also, when she says that Mickey Bubbles has seen the tweet about the asparagus food miles, I sooooo wish squiggle had replied with AlanPartridgeShrugging.gif
Honestly, her twitter feed is like a live action Alan Partridge.
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She really needs to learn to deal with her emotions. Her reactions are completely knee-jerk and melodramatic, and have the opposite effect of what she’s hoping for (confusion, indignation and amusement rather than pity). It’s not working, and it’ll only become more ineffectual as time goes on and squiggles grow wise(r) to it
The glass chaos is just pathetic. Eco-warrior squiggle (hopefully) doesn’t give a toss, and won’t see a connection with the criticism because there isn’t one (except in Jack’s maverick brain). She reminds me so much of a narcissist I know, faking medical stuff all the time. For people who consider themselves so special, they are all the bloody same
The glass chaos is just pathetic. Eco-warrior squiggle (hopefully) doesn’t give a toss, and won’t see a connection with the criticism because there isn’t one (except in Jack’s maverick brain). She reminds me so much of a narcissist I know, faking medical stuff all the time. For people who consider themselves so special, they are all the bloody same
I am so sick of reading about BB getting taught new (cookery) tricks. It reminds me of MJ's chimp.
Edit to say now duck off and good night!
Edit to say now duck off and good night!
Punched by Judith Chalmers! Superb! HAHAHA!
Given all the drama over her ouchy finger - mixing, kneading and rolling a pizza base? As likely as Jack being named the new 007... (plus, she now has a free photographer in the form of Buddle (
) and she wouldn't miss the opportunity to wax lyrical about her new found Italian rootsMy sincere hope is that Eco-Squiggle is a Greta Thunberg alt!
She could totally pull off that ‘do.
You know who else has a lower carbon footprint? Vegans lol
What time is this Guardian thing being cancelled for tomorrow
What time is this Guardian thing being cancelled for tomorrow
And she “swept and mopped thoroughly last night” and still a mysterious rough piece of broken glass materialised from nowhere? Chinny reckon.
At least we’ve been spared the gory photos this time!
Thunderberg v Thundercunt would be amazing. 2020 has been a shite year in many ways but if it ends with Greta staging a rooftop protest at the crappy Bungalow it would more than take the sting out of it.
Lordy, coven keeping me up again with all that laughter...
It is a bit like school days when the whole class would know that you will be calling in sick before the teacher knows.
JM is very professional.
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