Man City were training up the local rec, and I was in the long stay car park with my mum but I really needed a piss (always risky business in dreamworld) but she didn’t want the woman next to us in the smart car to see me wee so I crouched down and did the longest wee known to man it was like Noah needed to build an ark but thankfully I only peed in my dream. Anyway I couldn’t waste time pissing cos I needed to get up the other end of town to see bae in his lil vest, but no one could drive me up there
time was running away in chunks and I couldn’t be late cos they wouldn’t let me in past the chicken wire fence that Jack was training behind. I went up to the top of the junction at the bypass to hitchhike and tried to entice people with a chocolate wreath that I had suddenly made. A bunch of yobbos came and kept pratting about by the town sign so I pushed one down the hill because they wouldn’t feck off, and he died or something but I didn’t care because I only had my mind on one thing. A taxi driver said he would drive us all up the bypass but I still needed to walk 11 miles on the other end, which I then did in a pair of black Jesus sandles thru the mud. I was literally chomping through the scenery I was eating grass like a sheep. I was possessed. I had mouthfuls of grass being spat on the side of the country lane. There was some news coverage of ‘the woman who walked 11 miles in sandles to see Jack grealish’. I FINALLY got up the rec and Pep was rolling around on the floor in some baby blue tissue paper so we had a quick chat, which ended with him laughing and saying ‘I have so much fuckin money’ and I said ‘and don’t I know it’. And then I woke up cos I had to go to a bootsale.