I've been there and have the t shirt - and the t shirt reads "my therapists are called Ben and Jerry".I've also gone through multiple IVF rounds, and yes I'm well aware of my BMI, trying to maintain a healthy weight and eating healthy. But everyone's body's are different and some find it harder to lose weight than others. I've beat myself up enough over my body and it's infertility. But sometimes going through another fail/miscarriage/failed transfer etc that's effects my mental health and sometimes I turn to junk food. It doesn't mean I want a baby any less than someone who strictly sticks to their diet etc.
i wouldn't think you wanted a baby any less than someone else, you have insight into yourself, your mental health and what you're going through. You're not rejecting medical advice and complaining about guidelines.
sometimes the fertility hunz can be a total head wreck as it's so easy to watch and think that whatever woo woo, supplement, pilgrimage or diet they've used for the cycle that worked is the key. A lot of it is just luck (and remembering to take the meds as they've been prescribed).
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