We all know that this is the Texan's modus operandi of overblown internet posturing and it's endlessly amusing.
Besides, I'd hate to be the poor lawyer.
Tex: "I am SUING the anonymous Internet user that made this statement about me!1!1!!"
Attorney: "Ma'am, there are obvious free speech issues here and actually finding the user would cost thousands of dollars that you don't have. Plus truth is an ultimate defense to slander allegations."
Tex: *froths* "How DARE you!"
Attorney: "Ma'am, do you rescue dogs?"
Tex: "Yes."
Attorney: "And are you famous, something to write home about?"
Tex: "I'm big in Japan!"
Attorney: "Um, okay... regardless, you do know that the statement that you're nothing to write home about is an opinion and not at all actionable?"
Tex: "FINE! What about the last bit, then?!?"
Attorney: "Have you SEEN the screenshots of your own internet posts? I can't reasonably argue the falsity of that statement. This concludes our consultation. That will be $600. Have a nice day."