Why is it that I can only imagine her ranting and raving in french?It makes me wonder how she used to react after getting rejected at auditions, and who would bear the brunt of her anger (her agent, Ioan etc.).
It’s an overcast day in London. Quiet, for a change.
Suddenly, a phone call.
The silence is no more.
A groan. It’s Alice.
“Hey Alice, glad you could call. How did the audition go? I heard that-”
“Mais c’est pas POSSIBLE! Il m’a dit que j’étais la PLUS PIRE ACTRICE il a jamais vu ! Comment ? Je te demande: COMMENT?! Qu’est-ce que tu l’as dis??”
(But it’s not possible! He said that I was the WORST ACTRESS he had ever seen! How? I ask you: HOW?! What did you say to him??)
“Alice? Hello? We’ve been through this, I don’t speak French, I-”
“Et après, devine! DEVINE ce qu’il m’a appelé?”
(And after, guess! GUESS what he called me?)
“Alice, I don’t… I have no idea what’s going on, if you could just-”
“NON!!! Il faut m’écoutez! Je sais TOUS dans cet environnement- t’es qui? MONTREZ VOUS-MÊME, FUCKO!!!”
(No! You must listen to me! I know EVERYTHING in this environment- who are you? SHOW YOURSELF, FUCKO!!!)
Thé agent winces as her client slams the phone down. Silence once more. Until… wait. What is that? Broken bottles, car screeching, a foghorn somehow going “SKKKKRRRRRR!” No… please, no… it can’t be her…
The agent takes a deep breath and goes to her window. There, from her 6th floor office, sheer terror eclipses her eyes, as Alice descends on a parachute. The parachute glints as multiple severed doll’s heads eyes catch the sunlight. She can’t hear the growls escaping her, but she doesn’t need to. She knows what she’s saying.
“I said show yourself, FUCKO.”
The scene cuts to black.
FIN
Suddenly, a phone call.
The silence is no more.
A groan. It’s Alice.
“Hey Alice, glad you could call. How did the audition go? I heard that-”
“Mais c’est pas POSSIBLE! Il m’a dit que j’étais la PLUS PIRE ACTRICE il a jamais vu ! Comment ? Je te demande: COMMENT?! Qu’est-ce que tu l’as dis??”
(But it’s not possible! He said that I was the WORST ACTRESS he had ever seen! How? I ask you: HOW?! What did you say to him??)
“Alice? Hello? We’ve been through this, I don’t speak French, I-”
“Et après, devine! DEVINE ce qu’il m’a appelé?”
(And after, guess! GUESS what he called me?)
“Alice, I don’t… I have no idea what’s going on, if you could just-”
“NON!!! Il faut m’écoutez! Je sais TOUS dans cet environnement- t’es qui? MONTREZ VOUS-MÊME, FUCKO!!!”
(No! You must listen to me! I know EVERYTHING in this environment- who are you? SHOW YOURSELF, FUCKO!!!)
Thé agent winces as her client slams the phone down. Silence once more. Until… wait. What is that? Broken bottles, car screeching, a foghorn somehow going “SKKKKRRRRRR!” No… please, no… it can’t be her…
The agent takes a deep breath and goes to her window. There, from her 6th floor office, sheer terror eclipses her eyes, as Alice descends on a parachute. The parachute glints as multiple severed doll’s heads eyes catch the sunlight. She can’t hear the growls escaping her, but she doesn’t need to. She knows what she’s saying.
“I said show yourself, FUCKO.”
The scene cuts to black.
FIN