First time posting here. I had heard of IG though not aware of his personal life and not a follower or fan. I took notice of this not-so-conscious uncoupling due to the press attention. I think I'm in a tiny if existent minority who feels some sympathy or empathy for AE. I thought I might post some thoughts here with reasoning. I scrolled through AE's instagram before posting here. What struck me was how happy the family seemed and how it seemed to me that IG and AE loved one another. I don't think that you can pretend for 21 years. Although I don't believe anyone should be forced to stay in a relationship they don't want to be in, it is not so long ago that 'no cause' divorce didn't exist. Divorce is now a contract which you are signing (a supposed commitment for lifetime - unless you stipulate otherwise I guess), and which there are no exit fees. I don't think it's that fair. Why shouldn't the person who wants to exit the contract pay as a consequence? I doubt there's many business partner contracts which allow for one to exit without considering the effects on the remaining partner.
I just wondered if Ioan couldn't have tried to make some acknowledgements. Like, ofc I loved you, I still do (if he does), but feel we are better off apart. It also doesn't seem very, idk, helpful? fair? kind? to have been completely quiet about all the pain he was in, if that's what he is now saying. Telling your wife how much you love them, and how wonderful they are, to suddenly returning from a trip and being 'cold' does smack of an affair to me. Don't many therapists and women say that a lot of men don't ever leave until they have a new woman lined up? I think that may be the case here.
In one of AE's instagram posts IG is singing. He has a really great voice and honestly I think he could make music and it'd sell. In another post AE has drawn a sketch of their daughters. It's really good too. AE speaks a number of languages, and in the youtubes I've seen of her speaking French, she has a great voice. Personally, I find quite a few of her humorous posts funny. She is often self-deprecating, talking about fine hair, or joking about her enhanced mouth. In an interview about Harvey Weinstein she came across as insightful and honest.
It's a real shame to see how things have gone. I've been in relationships where the men have lied. The lying actually hurt me almost as much as the cheating ('it's not the crime it's the cover-up). One relationship was with a man I believe would be assessed as having NPD. I had never heard of this until afterwards in therapy. I've seen in many posts here that it doesn't matter if IG was cheating. It's not illegal and so on. I just wondered if anyone else felt that it would be important to them to know the truth and for their partners/spouse's to tell them the truth. Including what happened and when.
I just don't see this evil horror who made IG's life hell (he was away a lot of the time surely?). In so many posts AE is complimenting him and saying how lucky she is etc. Whilst at times putting herself down. It seems a bit more like she was a bit insecure, rather than she was full of confidence, in control, bossing him. I can't recall whether in court docs or here but didn't she say he said 'I didn't sign up for this' about her fibromyalgia? What if that's true? What if AE does have poor health? No spouse has to tolerate things they don't like, especially with no fault divorces now common. But maybe IG struggles with admitting to himself or others that his reasons are things like 'intolerance' or 'boredom', or 'feeling like starting over and wanting to have young kids again'. Idk, I would find it incredibly difficult to interact with the person who I thought had lied to me possibly for years or who was exploiting that men can 'start over' in their 50's, 60's and 79 for Robert De Niro.
