Ioan Gruffudd & Alice Evans #121 She's just the bargain basement Meghan Markle

[House of Tea]

Yeah she keeps hinting at having some absolute bombshell but doesn't want to destroy him - sure Jan... If she had a smoking gun she'd have played that card by now because we all know she has absolutely cannot hold her tongue.

Or her drink

 

[marjorytrashheap]

I think in this context it doesn’t look great.

Boundary setting is right but it’s just not the kind of thing you do over text with a child. A kid will interpret that as straight rejection.

Put the shoe on the other foot, if she’d have “hacked” into Alice’s IG account and posted tit about her mum and Alice straight out (over text no less) said she would not be taking her daughter anywhere or see her and guilted her about newspapers I think I’d be pretty taken aback. You don’t punish your children by refusing to see them. In fact, if you wanted to be the bigger parent you’d basically just say “you can hack into my Instagram, you can threaten what ever you want but I am your father and nothing will stop me loving you. I’m here. But we need to talk because what you did was serious and we can’t carry on like nothing happened, but let’s do it in person just you and me because I miss you and want to see you.” You still establish boundaries, you still discipline them but the aim is to establish trust and not break it, to build confidence and not shame. To be the reasonable parent who they can rely on, not the one that shuns them.

Like, he has to know that the children have been poisoned against him at this point and that their behaviour is a reflection of their mother and not them. Punish the mother, don’t punish the children.

If your children are still arseholes when they’re adults, by all means treat them like the adult arseholes they are, but while they’re minors they need unconditional love and security and it’s possible to do that AND discipline them and set boundaries. The minute you withdraw love you’re headed for disaster.

disclaimer: AE is 10x worse but it’s possible that he’s not acted in the best way as well, no one is perfect. Also, the messages Alice has released I’m sure are curated so I’m sure he’s not like that 100% of the time but the style of those messages just give me a few red flags.

She threatened to call CPS on him. She hacked his instagram (which is illegal btw), posted slurs. She stole $400 from him. If he does anything she doesn't like, she screams and calls her mother who records the whole thing. She refuses to see him in person unless it's for an expensive event which isn't safe for him to attend. How on earth is he supposed to navigate this without setting boundaries over text? And you don't actually know that he didn't say any of those other things you think he should have! All you have is one carefully curated text message that Alice has chosen to make him look as bad as possible.

I don't see anything shaming in his text. Ella's behaviour is really, really bad and she should know that. Lying, stealing, illegally hacking, issuing threats and attempting blackmail. This is shocking behaviour. Her mother probably rewarded her and told her she was great.

 

[ButterTart]

Oh I’m certain she cut off contextual information.

I think my question is around whether it even was the child who hacked it. Those text messages don’t even look written by a child.

I worry that he’s shunning his daughter who’s been manipulated and isn’t responsible for any of this.

I'm not talking about the messages. She hacked into his Instagram in February and posted anti-gay slurs he supposedly made. So yes, she bears responsibility for that, and for spending $400 on his Amazon account without his permission in December.

 

[House of Tea]

She threatened to call CPS on him. She hacked his instagram (which is illegal btw), posted slurs. She stole $400 from him. If he does anything she doesn't like, she screams and calls her mother who records the whole thing. She refuses to see him in person unless it's for an expensive event which isn't safe for him to attend. How on earth is he supposed to navigate this without setting boundaries over text? And you don't actually know that he didn't say any of those other things you think he should have! All you have is one carefully curated text message that Alice has chosen to make him look as bad as possible.

I don't see anything shaming in his text. Ella's behaviour is really, really bad and she should know that. Lying, stealing, illegally hacking, issuing threads and attempting blackmail. This is shocking behaviour. Her mother probably rewarded her and told her she was great.

Spot on.Ioan loves his daughters. He knows they are as much of a victim of Alice as he is. He is wary of Ella, and why wouldn’t he be.

 

[Feather fans]

I might be in minority here but I really think its very possible that Gloria is indeed on Alice’s side. We know nothing of the woman apart that she looks lovely and kind and according to Alice had horrible relationship break up and was either cheated on or left destitute or both by ex husband. She probably not met Ioan anywhere near as much as she did Alice due to the fact she was mostly at house when he was working away, it is my understanding she speaks little english (does Yo speak spanish? And Alice does, makes a difference even if its a little bit) and so probably everything she knows of the situation is via - guess who? Im sure she is a nice person and is attached to the girls, but at the end of the day she is paid help who at best would not want to get involved (who would hire a nanny/ maid who testified against employer?) or at worst was taken over by mAlice and her lies and fake weeping

 

[Hiraeth]

*waves to fellow Libras on the thread*

Surely Leon would have had a duty of care to report anything untoward?

Unfortunately, in California lawyers can only breach the duty of confidentiality/attorney-client privilege if a crime is about to be committed. :/

 

[Nixlondon]

I hope the DM publish her deleted video. Despite 2 takes it was still a piece of bad acting and lies.

I don't think she cares about the PRO as she has no job prospects (and doesn't want a job anyway) and no reputation to lose.

She is seriously rattled about the custody hearing though. The children are her hostages, meal ticket and prized possessions. She really does have something to lose here.

Yu, 50% custody means 50% less money to her to drink with - she is crapping herself

 

[Endora]

She should have at least shaved the beard. Tsk.

I must say I was gratified to see that I am not the only one who suffers from the occasional wild eyebrow hair.

 

[Mad Betty]

*waves to fellow Libras on the thread*


Unfortunately, in California lawyers can only breach the duty of confidentiality/attorney-client privilege if a crime is about to be committed. :/

Fellow Libra waves back.

I hope Gloria is secretly documenting all of Alice's drunken rages and abuse. She's seen it all. She knows. And like Ioan, I think she says what she needs to to Alice to keep herself and those girls safe.

 

[Squittel]

I'm not talking about the messages. She hacked into his Instagram in February and posted anti-gay slurs he supposedly made. So yes, she bears responsibility for that, and for spending $400 on his Amazon account without his permission in December.

Yes but she’s literally 12 and for the last 18 months+ has had her unstable whack job mother poisoning her and goading her against him and alienating him. She’s a kid in a horrible horrible situation.

 

[TheNotoriousManzana]

She looks like a middle aged man in that photo, fcuk what is she on?????

Hold on - I'm 38 and I look a LOT prettier than that!

 

[IHateHadargoyle]

But also saying he was the most wonderful husband/partner for 20 years and a brilliant father. If she goes there it will backfire on her big time. Ioan needs to stand his ground and not be intimidated.

Ioan was the perfect man until he left. Then he became a tit father, tit friend, rotten lover, cheat, failure, mama’s boy, coward, has addictions, has an Oedipus complex, possibly looked at CASM, was gone all the time”Malice greatly exaggerates this and someone had to work,”abandoned his kids, doesn’t pay child and spousal support, and more. Malice is a pathological liar and the biggest most narcissistic bleep I have ever seen in my entire life, and I have had a narcissist sibling, boss, and also a husband with those tendencies. None of them have ever come close to Malice and the sibling was awful. She’s a bleeping monster! If anyone comes close to her it’s Donald Trump and imho he’s a criminal.

 

[Loveu2]

Today's Tattle ad.

 

[Marjoried]

You have to remember that you are seeing only one message in the exchange. The way I read it is that he was refusing to take her to an expensive concert as not to reward her bad behaviour. I agree with you that the girls cannot help, but to interpret this as abandonment especially since it's clear that they know that he knows the kind of crazy they are living with. However, I feel like the only way out of this IS what he is suggesting and that is therapy.

It’s almost impossible in his situation thanks to Alice, but someone has to try to parent that child and draw lines in the sand. You don’t realise it until your are an adult, but sometimes discipline is love. I know Alice thinks parenting is all cackling laughter and trying to be down with the kids, but those girls are doomed if they are aren’t taught anything besides mucking around and having fun. In isolation Ioan’s text is a chilly response but it’s coming from a good place and in the grander scheme of everything else that’s been thrown at Ioan, remarkably restrained and kind. Therapy for him is a good idea to separate Ella’s reactions from Alice though, as Alice has done her utmost to make Ella a mini me.

 

[House of Tea]

Yes but she’s literally 12 and for the last 18 months+ has had her unstable whack job mother poisoning her and goading her against him and alienating him. She’s a kid in a horrible horrible situation.

You don’t say?

 

[ButterTart]

Yes but she’s literally 12 and for the last 18 months+ has had her unstable whack job mother poisoning her and goading her against him and alienating him. She’s a kid in a horrible horrible situation.

Of course she is. It's awful for her, and it's awful for her relationship with both parents. But under the circumstances, I still see nothing wrong with his messages to her, even as they have been presented by Alice. She is now a weaponized child who has made up and and can make up very harmful stories about him, so I can see where he would have to be very careful in what he says and does around her. Which is one of the reasons he is asking for the children to go back to therapy - to help them, and to rebuild their relationship. The texts also line up with what he put into his sworn statement so I trust them more than what she is saying.

 

[plinky2]

I might be in minority here but I really think its very possible that Gloria is indeed on Alice’s side. We know nothing of the woman apart that she looks lovely and kind and according to Alice had horrible relationship break up and was either cheated on or left destitute or both by ex husband. She probably not met Ioan anywhere near as much as she did Alice due to the fact she was mostly at house when he was working away, it is my understanding she speaks little english (does Yo speak spanish? And Alice does, makes a difference even if its a little bit) and so probably everything she knows of the situation is via - guess who? Im sure she is a nice person and is attached to the girls, but at the end of the day she is paid help who at best would not want to get involved (who would hire a nanny/ maid who testified against employer?) or at worst was taken over by mAlice and her lies and fake weeping

I agree with you, it’s really hard for Gloria. All she will want is the best for the kids really and an easy life for herself

 

[Knitwit]

I haven’t read through this whole thread (this thread always goes so quickly) but I thought Ioan’s long message to his daughter was a bit odd? As in, clearly AE was involved with the daughter hacking into his account, alienating daughter further will only play into AE’s narrative? I mean, I don’t know what I would do in his situation, it’s a tit show over all but I’m not sure he’s helping himself at this point.

The children are the most important in all of this and alienating them further and speaking to them in that strange formal way is just going to push them further away. I think they just need a load of love thrown their way and to know their father’s love is not conditional. Stop revolving every conversation around Bianca, their mum has already poisoned them to believe Bianca is the most important thing and the messages just play into that narrative.

Starting to believe that the lot of them are mental.

The first text that was posted is formal because Ioan was in a dangerous position and had to place strict boundaries. Alice had told him she was going to make up false stories that he had abused her and the children. She was already priming Ella to make false complaints 'Tell me if daddy has said anything weird or creepy to you', 'Is he hurting you?" and Ella was responding with 'Can't wait for the lawyers to hear this mummy'. When Ioan reprimanded Ella for spending $400 on his Amazon account at Christmas, Ella called him 'abusive', when Ioan told Ella in February he couldn't afford to pay for her school Ella threatened to call Child Protective Services. When Ella hacked his Instagram she posted that he was spending her school money on his girlfriend (Alice's narrative) and that he hated gays it was incredibly damaging professionally. It simply wasn't safe for Ioan to see Ella until she started therapy which her mother was refusing to facilitate. Ioan is upset, angry, and frightened but even then this is a reasonable explanation to his daughter of cause and effect and what needs to happen moving forward.

With the second text, I am going to guess that Alice was aware that Bianca was receiving treatment and planted a seed knowing it would fail "I think on reflection you should see your daddy, why don't you ask your daddy to take you to Universal Studios?', so Ella did. Ella had likely been manipulated, but in this instance, I think Ioan was clumsy. Ella didn't understand why he was bringing up Bianca or why just seeing her and her sister would compromise Bianca. Ideally, Ioan would be the one coming up with alternative suggestions to Ella as he is the one who knows what Bianca can medically tolerate, not Ella, like a hike or a trip to the beach and it would show Ella that he did want to see her. Either way, neither text is abusive as Alice claims. The first was a necessity and the second was a bit clumsy on Ioan's part and I can see how it would have wounded Ella but it was not done with intent nor was it abusive as Alice would have us believe - unlike calling your daughter a 'bleeping witch' on her birthday or threatening a 'new daddy'.

 

[Hiraeth]

To the legal bods @Hiraeth and @ButterTart - you mentioned before about doing due diligence, can’t remember if you called it “searches” or something, but Ioan would have been checked out thoroughly by his legal team right? So they would know of any skeletons in his closet, should they in fact exist??

If that’s the case Alice has nothing, unless she fakes a claim.

Yes, especially in a case with high-powered lawyers like these. You never want ANY surprises when it comes to representing a client and he would have been checked out as well as encouraged to be fully forthcoming with his attorneys (as I just mentioned, this info would be covered by attorney-client privilege).

It really gets me that he's being accused of lying in the court documents by Alice and her dimwitted followers. Not only is the client responsible for their representations in court, but so is the attorney. You really think that Anne Kiley is going to risk her law license by filing false documents? I don't think so.

 

[House of Tea]

Ioan wants his kids to be okay at the end of this. He wants Bianca and him to be okay too. Hell, he even wants Alice to be okay too. He is having therapy. He wants his kids to get help. He would be highly delighted if Alice got help. Giving into Ella is not helping anybody.