Ioan Gruffudd & Alice Evans #121 She's just the bargain basement Meghan Markle

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I think in this context it doesn’t look great.

Boundary setting is right but it’s just not the kind of thing you do over text with a child. A kid will interpret that as straight rejection.

Put the shoe on the other foot, if she’d have “hacked” into Alice’s IG account and posted tit about her mum and Alice straight out (over text no less) said she would not be taking her daughter anywhere or see her and guilted her about newspapers I think I’d be pretty taken aback. You don’t punish your children by refusing to see them. In fact, if you wanted to be the bigger parent you’d basically just say “you can hack into my Instagram, you can threaten what ever you want but I am your father and nothing will stop me loving you. I’m here. But we need to talk because what you did was serious and we can’t carry on like nothing happened, but let’s do it in person just you and me because I miss you and want to see you.” You still establish boundaries, you still discipline them but the aim is to establish trust and not break it, to build confidence and not shame. To be the reasonable parent who they can rely on, not the one that shuns them.

Like, he has to know that the children have been poisoned against him at this point and that their behaviour is a reflection of their mother and not them. Punish the mother, don’t punish the children.

If your children are still arseholes when they’re adults, by all means treat them like the adult arseholes they are, but while they’re minors they need unconditional love and security and it’s possible to do that AND discipline them and set boundaries. The minute you withdraw love you’re headed for disaster.

disclaimer: AE is 10x worse but it’s possible that he’s not acted in the best way as well, no one is perfect. Also, the messages Alice has released I’m sure are curated so I’m sure he’s not like that 100% of the time but the style of those messages just give me a few red flags.
No offense but I don’t think you’re really well qualified to comment on this topic as you rarely ever comment here. There’s an encyclopedia of information that you need to have read to understand the situation. Just sayin’.
 
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So her last little threat on the video about knowing so much more about Ioan that she doesn’t say is the awful thing we’ve said several times she’s going to pull?
Imagine holding that over someone.
It will be some version of a "romance" tape ( a la Kim Kardashian) and it will be dull.

Book it
 
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Praise be to the baby cheeses. I have caught up. It’s taken since 7am. Damn you sleep and damn you work.

I can’t add anything to the great stuff you’ve already talked about. Ioan’s response whilst possibly a little chilly for a 12 year old was perfectly ok for someone communicating via text. He knows If he had called her Alice would’ve jumped into the conversation.

This is not proof of his “abuse”. She still has nothing.

To the legal bods @Hiraeth and @ButterTart - you mentioned before about doing due diligence, can’t remember if you called it “searches” or something, but Ioan would have been checked out thoroughly by his legal team right? So they would know of any skeletons in his closet, should they in fact exist??

If that’s the case Alice has nothing, unless she fakes a claim.
 
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I sent a friend of mine, a child psychologists, earlier today those messages and explained a bit the background. For those who are interested, her response:
-She thinks they are unlikely to be written by a 12 year old, especially in the alleged scenario, but can't rule it out obviously (tbh I think no one of us thinks that Alice isnt glued next to them whenever they write with him lol)
-Ioan's messages are fine for boundary setting and to discipline her
-she also think it's good to teach kids that the needs of other parties have to be considered in life
-if the kids do think that his partner is responsible for the parents' seperation it can be slightly problematic to bring them up in this context, sometimes a little lie helps
-she thinks the "this is not a kind and loving relationship" bit was unfortunate choice of words, if recent he should contact her asap to clarify what he means and that everything will be fine
-her biggest issue is that they communicate over text, kids dont have the ability yet to understand that there are limitations re: tone
-she obviously also thinks Alice is a bleep for making this a public show (probably every professional thinks that lol)

I think in this context it doesn’t look great.

Boundary setting is right but it’s just not the kind of thing you do over text with a child. A kid will interpret that as straight rejection.

Put the shoe on the other foot, if she’d have “hacked” into Alice’s IG account and posted tit about her mum and Alice straight out (over text no less) said she would not be taking her daughter anywhere or see her and guilted her about newspapers I think I’d be pretty taken aback. You don’t punish your children by refusing to see them. In fact, if you wanted to be the bigger parent you’d basically just say “you can hack into my Instagram, you can threaten what ever you want but I am your father and nothing will stop me loving you. I’m here. But we need to talk because what you did was serious and we can’t carry on like nothing happened, but let’s do it in person just you and me because I miss you and want to see you.” You still establish boundaries, you still discipline them but the aim is to establish trust and not break it, to build confidence and not shame. To be the reasonable parent who they can rely on, not the one that shuns them.

Like, he has to know that the children have been poisoned against him at this point and that their behaviour is a reflection of their mother and not them. Punish the mother, don’t punish the children.

If your children are still arseholes when they’re adults, by all means treat them like the adult arseholes they are, but while they’re minors they need unconditional love and security and it’s possible to do that AND discipline them and set boundaries. The minute you withdraw love you’re headed for disaster.

disclaimer: AE is 10x worse but it’s possible that he’s not acted in the best way as well, no one is perfect. Also, the messages Alice has released I’m sure are curated so I’m sure he’s not like that 100% of the time but the style of those messages just give me a few red flags.
the thing is she also threatened him with CPS, has a mom who told her "tell me if daddy is creepy", acted out terribly (likely coached) when in his custody that got immediately filmed by the mother. I honestly think he is not safe around her until a professional ensures that she is not getting coached, yknow?

We've also been told that they dont take his phone calls, so it may not be as easy as we think.
 
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So her last little threat on the video about knowing so much more about Ioan that she doesn’t say is the awful thing we’ve said several times she’s going to pull?
Imagine holding that over someone.
But also saying he was the most wonderful husband/partner for 20 years and a brilliant father. If she goes there it will backfire on her big time. Ioan needs to stand his ground and not be intimidated.
 
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The longer message to the older one indicated he was refusing?

I don’t know why people never have any nuance. Why must one party always be BAD and the other GOOD. It was the same with the Johnny Depp/Amber Hurd threads. Johnny good, Amber bad. One was clearly worse than the other but neither were blameless. It’s like being on AITA on Reddit. Alice is clearly the worst, but that doesn’t make Ioan father of the year either and certainly doesn’t mean he’s unable to make mistakes in what is clearly a very charged situation.
If you want nuance, I suggest you read through the 113 page request for the restraining order and then the 71 page request for custody. No, it's not straightforward so you might want to delve deeper before jumping to conclusions.
 
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No offense but I don’t think you’re really well qualified to comment on this topic as you rarely ever comment here. There’s an encyclopedia of information that you need to have read to understand the situation. Just sayin’.
Tattle does not really require a qualification and I have read the court papers etc in full and firmly side with Ioan. His ex wife is awful and has alienated him from his children, she’s poisoned them. She’s made this whole sorry saga needlessly public and has made it her life’s ambition to make his life hell. She’s hounded, harassed and abused him.

That still doesn’t make him father of the year.

The two things are separate.

If you want nuance, I suggest you read through the 113 page request for the restraining order and then the 71 page request for custody. No, it's not straightforward so you might want to delve deeper before jumping to conclusions.
I did that months ago when it came out. It’s bleeping terrible. She’s a witch.
 
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Ella got to go to the concert though didn’t she? Alice went and that’s what that performative nonsense was when they had covid?
 
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Tattle does not really require a qualification and I have read the court papers etc in full and firmly side with Ioan. His ex wife is awful and has alienated him from his children, she’s poisoned them. She’s made this whole sorry saga needlessly public and has made it her life’s ambition to make his life hell. She’s hounded, harassed and abused him.

That still doesn’t make him father of the year.

The two things are separate.


I did that months ago when it came out. It’s bleeping terrible. She’s a witch.
I have come to a different conclusion, having read the documents. I don't think his texts were inappropriate, and I also believe she cut off contextual information.

When a child has stolen from you and hacked into your email, with public and potentially professional consequences, there need to be boundaries. It's not always, awwww but I wuv you. I don't fault him for the way he has handled this.
 
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Are these people actually stupid? Or do they think divorce is genuinely worse than kids being abused by their own mother?

Screenshot_20220718-170534_Twitter.jpg
 
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I have come to a different conclusion, having read the documents. I don't think his texts were inappropriate, and I also believe she cut off contextual information.

When a child has stolen from you and hacked into your email, with public and potentially professional consequences, there need to be boundaries. It's not always, awwww but I wuv you. I don't fault him for the way he has handled this.
Oh I’m certain she cut off contextual information.

I think my question is around whether it even was the child who hacked it. Those text messages don’t even look written by a child.

I worry that he’s shunning his daughter who’s been manipulated and isn’t responsible for any of this.
 
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I think in this context it doesn’t look great.

Boundary setting is right but it’s just not the kind of thing you do over text with a child. A kid will interpret that as straight rejection.

Put the shoe on the other foot, if she’d have “hacked” into Alice’s IG account and posted tit about her mum and Alice straight out (over text no less) said she would not be taking her daughter anywhere or see her and guilted her about newspapers I think I’d be pretty taken aback. You don’t punish your children by refusing to see them. In fact, if you wanted to be the bigger parent you’d basically just say “you can hack into my Instagram, you can threaten what ever you want but I am your father and nothing will stop me loving you. I’m here. But we need to talk because what you did was serious and we can’t carry on like nothing happened, but let’s do it in person just you and me because I miss you and want to see you.” You still establish boundaries, you still discipline them but the aim is to establish trust and not break it, to build confidence and not shame. To be the reasonable parent who they can rely on, not the one that shuns them.

Like, he has to know that the children have been poisoned against him at this point and that their behaviour is a reflection of their mother and not them. Punish the mother, don’t punish the children.

If your children are still arseholes when they’re adults, by all means treat them like the adult arseholes they are, but while they’re minors they need unconditional love and security and it’s possible to do that AND discipline them and set boundaries. The minute you withdraw love you’re headed for disaster.

disclaimer: AE is 10x worse but it’s possible that he’s not acted in the best way as well, no one is perfect. Also, the messages Alice has released I’m sure are curated so I’m sure he’s not like that 100% of the time but the style of those messages just give me a few red flags.
100% agree with this. I think both have acted poorly to be honest but AE takes the cake when you compare them both.
 
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The longer message to the older one indicated he was refusing?

I don’t know why people never have any nuance. Why must one party always be BAD and the other GOOD. It was the same with the Johnny Depp/Amber Hurd threads. Johnny good, Amber bad. One was clearly worse than the other but neither were blameless. It’s like being on AITA on Reddit. Alice is clearly the worst, but that doesn’t make Ioan father of the year either and certainly doesn’t mean he’s unable to make mistakes in what is clearly a very charged situation.
You have to remember that you are seeing only one message in the exchange. The way I read it is that he was refusing to take her to an expensive concert as not to reward her bad behaviour. I agree with you that the girls cannot help, but to interpret this as abandonment especially since it's clear that they know that he knows the kind of crazy they are living with. However, I feel like the only way out of this IS what he is suggesting and that is therapy.
 
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Alice thrives on conflict. She lives for the fight. This morning after her TRO breaking performance, and after she'd sold the story to the UK papers, she is probably licking her overly inflated sticky dry lips and salivating like a dog with a fresh new bone. She just had her Narc feed AND got to abuse Ioan while pulling out all the tricks, including carefully cropped texts and a terrible dry eyed one woman woe-is-me show. That witch is full up.

There is a special place in hell for Alice Evans. I hope the Devil she keeps referring to rises up and finds her soon. Absolute shell of a human.

 
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No offense but I don’t think you’re really well qualified to comment on this topic as you rarely ever comment here. There’s an encyclopedia of information that you need to have read to understand the situation. Just sayin’.
I don’t entirely disagree. It’s hard to read tone over written message, this is why it can look cold or unfeeling and these kind of things can be interpreted differently. We all misjudge things sometimes, he’s in a rock and a hard place but I get what she saying and I agree. Ella may have found this hard to read and perhaps take this in a cold unfeeling way, which Ioan may or may not have intended.
 
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I predict a few years of anger and abuse from those kids before that particular lightbulb goes off, but when it does mAlice is in severe danger of pushing those girls away permanently.
So do I. And I'm here for it. :cool: I think the girls will eventually go NC/grey rock on mAlice. It will serve her right too.
 
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