Is socking a verb?
No offense but I don’t think you’re really well qualified to comment on this topic as you rarely ever comment here. There’s an encyclopedia of information that you need to have read to understand the situation. Just sayin’.I think in this context it doesn’t look great.
Boundary setting is right but it’s just not the kind of thing you do over text with a child. A kid will interpret that as straight rejection.
Put the shoe on the other foot, if she’d have “hacked” into Alice’s IG account and posted tit about her mum and Alice straight out (over text no less) said she would not be taking her daughter anywhere or see her and guilted her about newspapers I think I’d be pretty taken aback. You don’t punish your children by refusing to see them. In fact, if you wanted to be the bigger parent you’d basically just say “you can hack into my Instagram, you can threaten what ever you want but I am your father and nothing will stop me loving you. I’m here. But we need to talk because what you did was serious and we can’t carry on like nothing happened, but let’s do it in person just you and me because I miss you and want to see you.” You still establish boundaries, you still discipline them but the aim is to establish trust and not break it, to build confidence and not shame. To be the reasonable parent who they can rely on, not the one that shuns them.
Like, he has to know that the children have been poisoned against him at this point and that their behaviour is a reflection of their mother and not them. Punish the mother, don’t punish the children.
If your children are still arseholes when they’re adults, by all means treat them like the adult arseholes they are, but while they’re minors they need unconditional love and security and it’s possible to do that AND discipline them and set boundaries. The minute you withdraw love you’re headed for disaster.
disclaimer: AE is 10x worse but it’s possible that he’s not acted in the best way as well, no one is perfect. Also, the messages Alice has released I’m sure are curated so I’m sure he’s not like that 100% of the time but the style of those messages just give me a few red flags.
It will be some version of a "romance" tape ( a la Kim Kardashian) and it will be dull.So her last little threat on the video about knowing so much more about Ioan that she doesn’t say is the awful thing we’ve said several times she’s going to pull?
Imagine holding that over someone.
Whomever’s car it is it’s waaaay nicer than mine! But I don’t have car payments at least.View attachment 1427001
Anyone recognise the car? Not the Prius right?
Maybe it's Gloria's car, which would support the video not being recorded yesterday but just released strategically.
Or maybe it is a Prius, I'm not a car person
the thing is she also threatened him with CPS, has a mom who told her "tell me if daddy is creepy", acted out terribly (likely coached) when in his custody that got immediately filmed by the mother. I honestly think he is not safe around her until a professional ensures that she is not getting coached, yknow?I think in this context it doesn’t look great.
Boundary setting is right but it’s just not the kind of thing you do over text with a child. A kid will interpret that as straight rejection.
Put the shoe on the other foot, if she’d have “hacked” into Alice’s IG account and posted tit about her mum and Alice straight out (over text no less) said she would not be taking her daughter anywhere or see her and guilted her about newspapers I think I’d be pretty taken aback. You don’t punish your children by refusing to see them. In fact, if you wanted to be the bigger parent you’d basically just say “you can hack into my Instagram, you can threaten what ever you want but I am your father and nothing will stop me loving you. I’m here. But we need to talk because what you did was serious and we can’t carry on like nothing happened, but let’s do it in person just you and me because I miss you and want to see you.” You still establish boundaries, you still discipline them but the aim is to establish trust and not break it, to build confidence and not shame. To be the reasonable parent who they can rely on, not the one that shuns them.
Like, he has to know that the children have been poisoned against him at this point and that their behaviour is a reflection of their mother and not them. Punish the mother, don’t punish the children.
If your children are still arseholes when they’re adults, by all means treat them like the adult arseholes they are, but while they’re minors they need unconditional love and security and it’s possible to do that AND discipline them and set boundaries. The minute you withdraw love you’re headed for disaster.
disclaimer: AE is 10x worse but it’s possible that he’s not acted in the best way as well, no one is perfect. Also, the messages Alice has released I’m sure are curated so I’m sure he’s not like that 100% of the time but the style of those messages just give me a few red flags.
But also saying he was the most wonderful husband/partner for 20 years and a brilliant father. If she goes there it will backfire on her big time. Ioan needs to stand his ground and not be intimidated.So her last little threat on the video about knowing so much more about Ioan that she doesn’t say is the awful thing we’ve said several times she’s going to pull?
Imagine holding that over someone.
That's because she can't actually decide what her story IS...They’re not letting her tell her story!
If you want nuance, I suggest you read through the 113 page request for the restraining order and then the 71 page request for custody. No, it's not straightforward so you might want to delve deeper before jumping to conclusions.The longer message to the older one indicated he was refusing?
I don’t know why people never have any nuance. Why must one party always be BAD and the other GOOD. It was the same with the Johnny Depp/Amber Hurd threads. Johnny good, Amber bad. One was clearly worse than the other but neither were blameless. It’s like being on AITA on Reddit. Alice is clearly the worst, but that doesn’t make Ioan father of the year either and certainly doesn’t mean he’s unable to make mistakes in what is clearly a very charged situation.
Tattle does not really require a qualification and I have read the court papers etc in full and firmly side with Ioan. His ex wife is awful and has alienated him from his children, she’s poisoned them. She’s made this whole sorry saga needlessly public and has made it her life’s ambition to make his life hell. She’s hounded, harassed and abused him.No offense but I don’t think you’re really well qualified to comment on this topic as you rarely ever comment here. There’s an encyclopedia of information that you need to have read to understand the situation. Just sayin’.
I did that months ago when it came out. It’s bleeping terrible. She’s a witch.If you want nuance, I suggest you read through the 113 page request for the restraining order and then the 71 page request for custody. No, it's not straightforward so you might want to delve deeper before jumping to conclusions.
I have come to a different conclusion, having read the documents. I don't think his texts were inappropriate, and I also believe she cut off contextual information.Tattle does not really require a qualification and I have read the court papers etc in full and firmly side with Ioan. His ex wife is awful and has alienated him from his children, she’s poisoned them. She’s made this whole sorry saga needlessly public and has made it her life’s ambition to make his life hell. She’s hounded, harassed and abused him.
That still doesn’t make him father of the year.
The two things are separate.
I did that months ago when it came out. It’s bleeping terrible. She’s a witch.
Oh I’m certain she cut off contextual information.I have come to a different conclusion, having read the documents. I don't think his texts were inappropriate, and I also believe she cut off contextual information.
When a child has stolen from you and hacked into your email, with public and potentially professional consequences, there need to be boundaries. It's not always, awwww but I wuv you. I don't fault him for the way he has handled this.
100% agree with this. I think both have acted poorly to be honest but AE takes the cake when you compare them both.I think in this context it doesn’t look great.
Boundary setting is right but it’s just not the kind of thing you do over text with a child. A kid will interpret that as straight rejection.
Put the shoe on the other foot, if she’d have “hacked” into Alice’s IG account and posted tit about her mum and Alice straight out (over text no less) said she would not be taking her daughter anywhere or see her and guilted her about newspapers I think I’d be pretty taken aback. You don’t punish your children by refusing to see them. In fact, if you wanted to be the bigger parent you’d basically just say “you can hack into my Instagram, you can threaten what ever you want but I am your father and nothing will stop me loving you. I’m here. But we need to talk because what you did was serious and we can’t carry on like nothing happened, but let’s do it in person just you and me because I miss you and want to see you.” You still establish boundaries, you still discipline them but the aim is to establish trust and not break it, to build confidence and not shame. To be the reasonable parent who they can rely on, not the one that shuns them.
Like, he has to know that the children have been poisoned against him at this point and that their behaviour is a reflection of their mother and not them. Punish the mother, don’t punish the children.
If your children are still arseholes when they’re adults, by all means treat them like the adult arseholes they are, but while they’re minors they need unconditional love and security and it’s possible to do that AND discipline them and set boundaries. The minute you withdraw love you’re headed for disaster.
disclaimer: AE is 10x worse but it’s possible that he’s not acted in the best way as well, no one is perfect. Also, the messages Alice has released I’m sure are curated so I’m sure he’s not like that 100% of the time but the style of those messages just give me a few red flags.
That flower looks a bit like a....pineapple ring....
You have to remember that you are seeing only one message in the exchange. The way I read it is that he was refusing to take her to an expensive concert as not to reward her bad behaviour. I agree with you that the girls cannot help, but to interpret this as abandonment especially since it's clear that they know that he knows the kind of crazy they are living with. However, I feel like the only way out of this IS what he is suggesting and that is therapy.The longer message to the older one indicated he was refusing?
I don’t know why people never have any nuance. Why must one party always be BAD and the other GOOD. It was the same with the Johnny Depp/Amber Hurd threads. Johnny good, Amber bad. One was clearly worse than the other but neither were blameless. It’s like being on AITA on Reddit. Alice is clearly the worst, but that doesn’t make Ioan father of the year either and certainly doesn’t mean he’s unable to make mistakes in what is clearly a very charged situation.
I don’t entirely disagree. It’s hard to read tone over written message, this is why it can look cold or unfeeling and these kind of things can be interpreted differently. We all misjudge things sometimes, he’s in a rock and a hard place but I get what she saying and I agree. Ella may have found this hard to read and perhaps take this in a cold unfeeling way, which Ioan may or may not have intended.No offense but I don’t think you’re really well qualified to comment on this topic as you rarely ever comment here. There’s an encyclopedia of information that you need to have read to understand the situation. Just sayin’.
So do I. And I'm here for it. I think the girls will eventually go NC/grey rock on mAlice. It will serve her right too.I predict a few years of anger and abuse from those kids before that particular lightbulb goes off, but when it does mAlice is in severe danger of pushing those girls away permanently.