The sad thing is she didnāt see it coming, or didnāt care. You know look what is cute at 21 wonāt be at 51; she isnāt daft so did she just hope she had Ioan hooked in for life because of a couple of children? I donāt think itās overly easy to be fair, but for your own sake you have to know when itās time to change and contribute somehow when your kids get beyond the being tiny phase. I liked being with my children when they were young but I was starting to mentally struggle a bit at home tbh, Alice must have been so bored with a nanny to do the chores too. She has spark and should use it to earn a living but also feel alive again. It would truly be good for her.
I'm saying this as my own personal experience but I might not connect here, not sure. But being an older mother, especially Alice in her 50s, I would have thought (given all you are going through hormonally too) it must contradict the daughter relationship. I had most my children young, oldest for my youngest I was 31, nothing compared to the 40+ that Alice was. The changes you go through physically, emotionally, mentally as a woman are quite a shock. Or it might just be me! It's a new identity you are grasping with, together with being a mum to daughters. What was cute, and you were everything one time does now no longer apply. It's quite a process to navigate. I feel that, what I'm failing to say! Is..Alice has tried to keep hold of her youth and at the same time, keep a firm hold of her daughter's, because she is scared that soon they'll be seeking company they want- and it won't be her. She thinks her 'babies' are forever, but I'd put money on it that they will hate this pretty soon. They will crave their own friends and why shouldn't they, thus is the natural progression. Then what will Alice have.?
And I agreeāAlice playing āfun parentā isnāt going to do her any favors for much longer.
Iām worried about how the children will grow up out in the world if theyāre overexposed to Aliceās fixation on limiting rules and being constantly lovable.
Everyone knows Iām not a parent but I have experience in having been a child at some point, and Iām now grateful for my mama having played the ānot-so-niceā parent at times, as āwickedā as I swore she was during those instances.
The world doesnāt prepare you for its trials and tumultāyour guardians and the environment in which youāre raised do. Having your children walk away from your home with a minimal sense of boundaries, maybe even a problematic understanding of responsibility, and an assumption that the world outside your home will be consistently easy and enjoyable is a hefty price to pay for being the āfun parent.ā
I hated when Alice knocked Ioan for being āboringā in the TRO docs. She actually believes that he is the poorer guardian. I donāt know the man but I imagine heās very loving and fun enough, and, what I admire most, willing to hold the girls accountable when they falter. Thatās an A+ daddy in my book.
What a terrible ethos to try and teach your children (I'm being very serious here) that life must be fun. No room for upset, disappointment. How the hell does that help? Life is full of the negative and most people I'll dare to speculate, suffer every day in their own unique ways. And some people cope better than others. So many factors at play. To say to your girls, 'you must be happy'...'you are special and deserve anything' ok I'm elaborating on the latter but it's no good. To imagine life is going to be one juicy slice of melon is cruel. You have to disappoint your children, be their first experience that parents are not perfect, though in general most parents love their children, they
duck up too. And life is going to let you down. Enjoy the highs, but prepare for the down times also. This mix shapes you, you learn from it, but life is a big bowl of cherries? Nothing gained here. Pain - as horrible as it is, reminds us to appreciate the good that comes our way. For a 50+ woman to express to her daughter's they must have fun and happiness only, is such an insane, immature and damaging concept. Totally unrealistic, and when they do have problems or internal battles they won't be able to vent in her presence because they won't feel safe to do so. I had an emotionally distant mother, she wasn't an Alice but she never allowed me to be me. It creates a person who learns to deceive, to hide, to lack confidence. I genuinely fear for the well-being of the girls. Apologies for waffling on and the over use of fruit analogies. It's been a very long working day, and silence or not, Alice still really irks me.
but it wouldāve been ace my version ha ha ha xx
š„¹ Love you, trope, diolch.
lol
