Ioan Gruffudd & Alice Evans #11 Never, ever, ever getting back together

[NorthernValkyrie]

Let's talk about the list of own-goals that have taken place between both of you, shall we?

#gonefishing. What company of 'colossal means' is doing such an amount of work for you if you have no money? If you're working tomorrow, shouldn't you be trying to sleep? Bog - is she a loo in UK slang, now? Not sure what BW's life has to do with your divorce case, but if it's keeping you occupied, amused, off the internet, focussed on the children...oh...wait....

 

[welp]

She is obviously doing an article about trolls with possibly the people who did her Mail interview, although surely any “credible” media would not go anywhere near at the moment. Mental health is a big topic these days and feeding someone’s paranoia to get an article out of her would be bad form.

If we dont get a mention I riot

 

[welp]

Alice is a text book Narc. They absolutely go nuts if their supply breaks free and cuts off contact. They will then try ANYTHING to change that, no matter whether it makes sense or not.

 

[MooBelle]

You guys move so fast!!! This thread is like a part time job for me at the moment...
Just wanted to say my bit on the cringey note left on the flowers from last September.
I don't think he wrote it. I'm even doubting he sent the flowers, if any flowers at all were sent.
Narcs plan ahead. They set stories for their own defence in future events. My mother is a Narc (haven't spoken to her in years) and through counselling I've learnt to recognise it.
My theory (fwiw) is that Alice knew the marriage was in trouble years ago. He'd had enough. She kept dragging him back through whatever tools she had. Most likely she'd threaten suicide. Maybe an intense dose of love bombing.
She then realised that this wasn't working so well, which would explain the harassment of directors/producers to let him leave the set to come home. She couldn't control him when he was away.
Last year she twigged it was a possibility he wouldn't come back so has been setting up 'proof' for what is going to be a very messy divorce.
Sending flowers to herself for example.
I believe that he has realised he is strong enough to leave and is being supported by a network of friends, lawyers and professionals.
An enraged Narc is a very scary thing. He won't have taken this action on a whim and he will be doing it because he is broken.
The girls have been separated into the Golden Child and the Scapegoat. Imo, in this situation the SG is the eldest girl. The Narc loves nothing more than goading the SG into a meltdown. Then they stand back and watch with their Narc Smirk. I really feel for the kid because that was me and yes it fucks you up, even decades later I'm still getting treatment for cPTSD.

Sorry for the essay and thank you for the part time job!!!

 

[IHateHadargoyle]

I think there is a fine line of commentary on the situation and just angling to create more hurt for AE, which filters down to the kids and others. I understand people wanting to tell Alice the truth or to get a grip etc but the mocking and antagonising is no different to the ‘supporters’ who are just riling her up whilst feeding her lies and false promises. It’s fuel to the fire of a human beings mental breakdown. Just my take on it.

I wanted to add I am in no way perfect and there may be times I’ve become carried away but I’m not chasing after her on her preferred social media.

I despise Alice but I have never ever and would never go to her Instagram or Twitter to antagonize her. In fact I wouldn’t do that to any human being because that’s against my moral code. Laugh at her on Tattlelife and criticize her? Yes.

 

[IHateHadargoyle]

Oh my gosh! Look at how fast this thread is going. I’ve never been so happy to be laid up recovering in my life.

 

[Almost Bianca]

Yeah this bothers me

Because he was under coercive control! It’s a terrible thing. It starts slowly and escalates like someone is being entwined in spider web before long the victim loses sense of self and just do as they are told. Not only to avoid conflict and because they lose a will to fight but because they begin to question their own sanity and judgement. Ive seen it happening to a friend and also I know that from my husband’s past experience. And they both are not weak people without willpower, oh no.

 

[PinkyWinky]

Alice is cheating by saying goodnight to her followers and exiting Twitter at just 08:00pm. We know that 08:00-10:00 is when she is shit-faced and unable to spell or hit the right keys on her phone.
Maybe her ambien walrus will wake her up. .

Edit - It’s 9:00 and she’s back on .. let the games begin.

 

[pommobear]

I think it was your post I read a few threads ago on narcs. I couldn't quote it because the thread had closed but every word you wrote rang so true for me and I wish we had a standing ovation emoji. The word narcissist gets thrown around a lot lately but I think a lot of people don't actually fully understand what narcs are really like and I felt like your post really did a great job of describing them.

Thank you! I know people like to give out stick to armchair psychologists but honestly AE is ticking off absolutely every narc trick in the book at the moment. People who have never had an intimate relationship with one (i.e. spouse, parent, sibling etc) won't realise how dangerous these individuals are. They can't be changed. They can't have therapy and suddenly get insight into themselves. They won't become a better person or mellow out. I cannot stress enough - they literally don't give a shit about ANYONE other than themselves. They'll relate to other people but it'll be in terms of what those other people represent for them and what they can do for them. As the child or spouse of a narc, if you aren't providing endless ego trips for them and agreeing with everything they say you are of no use whatsoever - you're an extension of them, that's your only purpose. They don't care about your individual thoughts or feelings or personality. What we're all witnessing right now from AE is pure narc rage. It's utterly textbook. These people absolutely cannot cope when their egos and behaviours are challenged. They completely lose their shit. Sometimes that's in a noisy, ranting way like AE and sometimes it's cold, quiet fury and underhand tactics (those narcs often don't get recognised as narcs by others because they're not as obviously batshit - it's very clever). Either way being around one is horrifically damaging and frankly the only way to deal with them is to cut them off completely and never have anything to do with them again. You can't have a dialogue with them. They will say ANYTHING to prove you wrong. They will exaggerate. They will twist the truth. They will point blank INVENT things to paint themselves as the victim.

Luckily (or unluckily!) I can spot one a mile off but I can see why some people are getting sucked into all this on social media with her, and why some others recognise she's not behaving well but think that it's because she's mentally unwell or very, very heartbroken, and if she had a bit of therapy she would be OK. Nope.

 

[CookieMonsta]

If this is true, especially the 10 years thing, why on earth did he go through the IVF for their second child. Why bring another child into the madness. And if she is known to be ill, because she absolutely is, why leave the kids with her. I hope with the benefit of distance he can come back full of resolve and sort the kids out.

Domestic abuse is as much mental and emotional abuse as it can be physical. Even without narcissism an abuser is very good at making their victim believe the abuse is all their fault, that there is something wrong with them, that everything will be perfect if only the victim can do and be what the abuser wants. Many will be too scared to leave because their abuser has convinced them they are so useless and helpless that they won't be able to survive in the real world without the abuser. They break their victim down over time. Some victims will even come to believe that not only is the abuse their fault, but that it's exactly what they deserve. And eventually for many victims, the abuse becomes so normalized, especially if it isn't physical, that they lose sight of reality, they don't realize just how abusive and wrong and abnormal their situation is.

 

[Almost Bianca]

This whole situation has really escalated and is worrying for all her immediate family. I’m not even sure if it’s morally OK to watch at this point?

Im feeling increasingly uncomfortable. It’s not just nastiness, she seems to have disintegrated into full blown Bedlam-like victorian insanity now. Im quite uneasy now and seriously think something bad might happen!

 

[Penguin86]

Thank you Alice for making me realise how Toxic twitter is. Just deleted my account. It's a nope from me.

 

[ReturningthePearls]

Do any of you ever sleep?!

I do. And I regret it.

 

[Lorelei1976]

He needs to go for full custody. The eldest child looks haunted and has done for a long time. She may have her own issues but seeing your mum unravel, your dad with a new woman, how is she supposed to cope. Out of all of them Ella is the one that causes me the most concern.

Totally agree, she has been at home with mum with dad coming back intermittently when not working. She's become a parental figure while Gloria is not there. That child looks as though she has the weight of the world on her shoulders and like she hasn't had a decent nights sleep in months. You don't get eye bags like that at 12 yrs old for nothing....

 

[ZipSilver]

What really puzzles me is why he stayed with her for so long. I am genuinely interested. Yes she was very attractive before the drink and drugs took their toll on her, but looks only goes so far in keeping couples together. She has mentioned in her tweets etc that he has pulled her up on her behaviour over the years but I do wonder why he didn't leave her earlier.

Yes she is truly manic now and I don't say that in jest, she really is reaching mania. But overall these aren't new behaviours they are just escalated now due to her stress levels and fears of abandonment. I genuinely do wonder why he stayed with her.

I thankfully haven't been in an abusive relationship before, but I've been privy to a few where I've been close with either the abused partner or both partners.

Often it's fear for the person's safety. People don't leave because they're terrified to leave. Leaving, and pregnancy, are the two times where you're most likely to be killed by an abusive partner. It's difficult with kids and property to up and leave into a refuge in the night and so the abuser will always know where to find you.

It's also fear for the kids. Better to be there in the house with the abuser than to separate and have them alone with the abuser half of the time. At least when you're there you can try and protect them.

There's every chance that he's wanted to leave for years and only finally now found a way to do it safely or got to breaking point where it was worth the risk to leave because life in the relationship wasn't worth living.

People on the outside often wonder why the victim doesn't walk away, overlooking the reality that the kind of person to be abusive isn't the kind to let you go with a 'farewell, we had a good run, I wish you all the best'. It's absolutely tragic, and a situation that almost all of us could find ourselves in.

 

[Anj4444]

Yep and that she is a horse face, attacking another woman’s looks for me is the lowest of the low. BW is clearly beautiful and shame on AE for such a low blow.

people in glass houses n all that.....

 

[everfair]

I think it’s safe to say that none of those mysterious anon accounts have anything to do with Bianca. What would she have to gain by sending abuse to Alice when she looks infinitely more graceful by saying nothing? It’s almost certainly Alice herself or genuine trolls winding her up, and if it’s the latter it’s very unfair to play into her paranoia and try and smear Bianca like that.

 

[Amanda Lin]

I have to say, I don't think Alice was being racist or offensive when she said she would have to live in a flat "north of Arleta".

If you look at a map, Arleta is on the outskirts of LA, and it seems she was making a comment about how far away she would be from the centre of LA, and everything hip and cool. Like someone who lived in London bemoaning the fact they could only afford to buy a flat "north of Watford".

Oh yeah, Alice is so superior I hope she never has to live anywhere like “Watford” and mix with people who don’t even have Hollywood husbands! Quelle Horror!

 

[ktjd]

Once anyone starts actively engaging (taunting) with the soul purpose of winding her up - you lose any moral high ground. TBH, given what we know of her, even trying to offer helpful advice is totally pointless, and actually feeds into her victim narrative.

 

[Ena Sharples]

I wonder if the situation with her Dad and his second wife was to do with them putting boundaries in place with Alice? She sure hates those pesky little things called boundaries. New wife comes along and maybe says to the Dad: 'you really don't have to accept all of her histronics you know, you can tell her what is and what isn't acceptable.' Alice refuses to accept the boundaries and has never spoken to them since.