In Alice's mind "her husband" / "her man" (urgh) has been stolen away by a mistress (aka Bogan Ho) - but! good men are supposed to pledge to care for their wives and children. Forever. (in Alice's mind).
Alice, he is divorcing you yet you still can't bring yourself to say the word ex. Imagine telling someone they'd rather be dead than be with you (to me, that actually suggests that Ioan's mental health was suffering, is that just my interpretation?). How upsetting is that? How damning about how little that person values you? Surely that is a huge wake up call.
Like it or not, we have no obligation or duty to anyone - other than our children, pets or other cast in stone responsibilities. We are allowed to fall out of love or emotionally detach. It's tit, but it's life. Love dies. Relationships can do a full 360° and we have to confront the truth.
Alice sounds so exhausting and horrific I'm surprised he hung around longer than a few days, never mind years. Surely it must have crossed his mind that she would retaliate and her behaviour would escalate in an attempt to bring him down in flames? She already meddled in his career and with his online fanbase before they split for good - I don't blame him for being disgusted with her.
The only way Alice will move on is if she can face the fact Ioan is in the rear window of her life, to stop obsessing about the whys and wherefores and to wish him well in his new life (and genuinely mean it) and create her OWN life. For God's sake, Alice, you are more than just Ioan's wife. Stop talking about him all the time. You are your own person. You have so much and you're refusing to see it. I wish she'd stop acting like a bleeping victim.
That bitterness, nastiness and refusal to face reality will hurt her - it already is. It's tragic. Her refusal to let go and that white-hot rage after all this time, makes me wonder just how much therapy will help her (she talked about having a few therapists at one point?). The first thing she should do is stop drinking.
I hope Ioan gets full custody - those two girls deserve far better. Her bitterness and chaotic lifestyle (you can just tell she's focussed on numero uno and barely makes any effort) - they need to get away from her toxicity, or they'll be parenting her soon, if they aren't already.