I'm on a six month trial with these. Im gonna bring it up when I see GP. Everything else is great though its just that one thing
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I really feel for you, and totally understand. I have bad endometriosis and was taking the combined pill back to back to control my pain. I finally had a laparoscopy last year to remove endo adhesions, and have the mirena coil now instead of the pill. But several years of hormonal control have left me with ZERO sex drive - it’s been 2 years since we last had sexI'm on a six month trial with these. Im gonna bring it up when I see GP. Everything else is great though its just that one thing
and I hate the hormones for this however I just can’t live with the pain otherwise. I’ve also ‘joked’ the same to my husband before, that he should find someone else on the side to satisfy himself 
I'm no longer in a relationship however there were many times where I did it just because he wanted it, otherwise I'd be made to feel bad. If I tried to stand my ground, he'd say I made him feel unattractive or he'd moan at me so much I'd just give in. Sexual intimacy is very important for me in a relationship, I enjoy sex and I have quite a high sex drive usually, he just wasn't the right person in the end and all of his flaws made me dislike him in many ways which is why I didn't really want it. However, I also understand that men and women have needs. What I'm curious about here is the people who have low sex drives and no longer enjoy sex, would you be upset with your partner if they pleasured themselves by watching porn instead? I ask because I had a debate with my friends over it so I'm genuinely curious as to how others feel about it.
I have no issue with my partner masturbating. Its a healthy and normal thing to do.
If they didnt want to have sex at all and were solely self pleasuring then no Id not like that.
For me I cant even compare the two, sometimes Im exhausted and I just need a release before I sleep. My partner if I told them would always want sex but sometimes I dont need that.
I dont think its an issue unless it is impacting on sex you have together.
Also in your first point, sexual coercion is rape. If you have sex when you don't want to because of the other persons reaction if you dont = extremely wrong.
Also noone wants to have sex with a tantruming, whingy adult.
Thank you for your response. I also feel that masturbation is healthy & is something that is acceptable for everyone to do, as long as you're not choosing porn over your partner as I feel that's when it becomes a problem.
A friend of mine doesn't like to sleep with her partner but also says that him watching porn is cheating. However I explain it, she doesn't agree. I feel that if someone in a relationship isn't getting that release through sex with their partner then it's totally normal to find a release from other avenues as long as it doesn't involve sleeping with or sexual relations with someone else. As for sexual coercion, you're definitely right. I wouldn't go as far as saying I felt I was raped however many women or men would probably feel that way. I just know that isn't something I'd ever allow to happen in a relationship again.
Yeah thats extremely unfair to the partner. Isnt having sex but can't masturbate? I cant see that ending well at all.
I know. I think it's very unfair to force someone to practically become celibate. We all have needs. I know from my own perspective that if I was in a sexless relationship, I couldn't possibly cope well with no masturbation on top.
I think it’s outrageous to expect a man not to masturbate if there’s no sex. and I’d bet money he was still doing it regardless of what she says. You can’t dominate someone else’s body like that imo. Is it the porn part she has an issue with or the whole thing?
I agree. My friendship group have all told her this but her view on it is that he should love her enough to be able to be able to cope without. She feels its cheating for him to masturbate over another womans body, and gets very upset when she finds out he's done it. They have many arguments over it. She will just not listen to any other view and feels her view is the right one. Poor sod. If she's not willing to give him any, porn is pretty much his only option other than physically cheating on her.
I have a kinda related but unrelated answer sorry 
I just wanted some advice.
Been with my partner five years (I’m 21) sex has just like left (purely my choice), but he still asks for it multiple times a day. - These days it’s like once a month, but honestly I could never do it again and I wouldn’t notice (even though I think/fantasise about it practically constantly lol)
At the start sex was constant after we lost our virginity to each other, maybe 4 or 5 times a day whenever we’d see each other. I’m just not interested anymore. I still think about sex constantly and fantasise, but it just never really involves him (I hate myself ik).
I just didn’t know if maybe I’m asexual, maybe my hormones are wacky, maybe we’re just not compatible (I love him but I do hold resentment for him for a lot of reasons), or maybe it’s because we’ve only been with each other and humans just naturally try to think about the grass being greener.
If anyone did have advice or perspective I’d really appreciate it. It’s been 5 years and I really don’t want to break mine and anyone else’s heart and lose my like best and in some ways only friend. But I also can’t survive like this and keep hoping that it’ll randomly make sense one day.
I just wanted some advice.Been with my partner five years (I’m 21) sex has just like left (purely my choice), but he still asks for it multiple times a day. - These days it’s like once a month, but honestly I could never do it again and I wouldn’t notice (even though I think/fantasise about it practically constantly lol)
At the start sex was constant after we lost our virginity to each other, maybe 4 or 5 times a day whenever we’d see each other. I’m just not interested anymore. I still think about sex constantly and fantasise, but it just never really involves him (I hate myself ik).
I just didn’t know if maybe I’m asexual, maybe my hormones are wacky, maybe we’re just not compatible (I love him but I do hold resentment for him for a lot of reasons), or maybe it’s because we’ve only been with each other and humans just naturally try to think about the grass being greener.
If anyone did have advice or perspective I’d really appreciate it. It’s been 5 years and I really don’t want to break mine and anyone else’s heart and lose my like best and in some ways only friend. But I also can’t survive like this and keep hoping that it’ll randomly make sense one day.
Well, no. It's not his only other option, and we should not accepting that this is the only other option. Stop giving men excuses for getting their rocks off. Plenty of men can and will masturbate without porn. They don't need it, and it's not their only other option.
I have a huge problem with the porn industry and its treatment and portrayal of women, so it wouldn't be about a man perving over another woman, it would be using this method to do it. I can't support what the porn industry does to women every single day, and I would have trouble with a man supporting that, too.
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You are only 21 years old!!!!!!! You are only at the very beginning of your romantic and sexual life. It’s clear from your post that you are just simply not sexually attracted to this particular person. Trust me, find the right person and it will all click.I have a kinda related but unrelated answer sorry
Been with my partner five years (I’m 21) sex has just like left (purely my choice), but he still asks for it multiple times a day. - These days it’s like once a month, but honestly I could never do it again and I wouldn’t notice (even though I think/fantasise about it practically constantly lol)
At the start sex was constant after we lost our virginity to each other, maybe 4 or 5 times a day whenever we’d see each other. I’m just not interested anymore. I still think about sex constantly and fantasise, but it just never really involves him (I hate myself ik).
I just didn’t know if maybe I’m asexual, maybe my hormones are wacky, maybe we’re just not compatible (I love him but I do hold resentment for him for a lot of reasons), or maybe it’s because we’ve only been with each other and humans just naturally try to think about the grass being greener.
If anyone did have advice or perspective I’d really appreciate it. It’s been 5 years and I really don’t want to break mine and anyone else’s heart and lose my like best and in some ways only friend. But I also can’t survive like this and keep hoping that it’ll randomly make sense one day.
you are far too young to be in any relationship and far less a relationship that’s gone stale and is already sexless!!
The relationship has simply run its course. Ditch him, get out into the world and enjoy yourself, you are 21!!! The world is your oyster!!!
I think you've answered your own question. You've said it's because you resent him. You're 21. You said you can't go on like this. You know deep down this has run it's course.I have a kinda related but unrelated answer sorry
Been with my partner five years (I’m 21) sex has just like left (purely my choice), but he still asks for it multiple times a day. - These days it’s like once a month, but honestly I could never do it again and I wouldn’t notice (even though I think/fantasise about it practically constantly lol)
At the start sex was constant after we lost our virginity to each other, maybe 4 or 5 times a day whenever we’d see each other. I’m just not interested anymore. I still think about sex constantly and fantasise, but it just never really involves him (I hate myself ik).
I just didn’t know if maybe I’m asexual, maybe my hormones are wacky, maybe we’re just not compatible (I love him but I do hold resentment for him for a lot of reasons), or maybe it’s because we’ve only been with each other and humans just naturally try to think about the grass being greener.
If anyone did have advice or perspective I’d really appreciate it. It’s been 5 years and I really don’t want to break mine and anyone else’s heart and lose my like best and in some ways only friend. But I also can’t survive like this and keep hoping that it’ll randomly make sense one day.
Men will do this regardless of porn or not. It's natural, I don't see it as cheating, it's merely a visual/audio to speed things up.
All men do it even the ones who say they don't.
Not all relationships are forever and it does sound like this relationship has run its course.I have a kinda related but unrelated answer sorry
Been with my partner five years (I’m 21) sex has just like left (purely my choice), but he still asks for it multiple times a day. - These days it’s like once a month, but honestly I could never do it again and I wouldn’t notice (even though I think/fantasise about it practically constantly lol)
At the start sex was constant after we lost our virginity to each other, maybe 4 or 5 times a day whenever we’d see each other. I’m just not interested anymore. I still think about sex constantly and fantasise, but it just never really involves him (I hate myself ik).
I just didn’t know if maybe I’m asexual, maybe my hormones are wacky, maybe we’re just not compatible (I love him but I do hold resentment for him for a lot of reasons), or maybe it’s because we’ve only been with each other and humans just naturally try to think about the grass being greener.
If anyone did have advice or perspective I’d really appreciate it. It’s been 5 years and I really don’t want to break mine and anyone else’s heart and lose my like best and in some ways only friend. But I also can’t survive like this and keep hoping that it’ll randomly make sense one day.
Youre only 21, dont waste your life and your partners by sticking with this.
The fact you think you might be asexual but also state that you still think about sex constantly indicates you just dont want to have sex with him.
Move on, enjoy yourself.
The resentment is the biggest hurdle, speaking from experience (currently) once its there it only grows then you get to the point of no return.I have a kinda related but unrelated answer sorry
Been with my partner five years (I’m 21) sex has just like left (purely my choice), but he still asks for it multiple times a day. - These days it’s like once a month, but honestly I could never do it again and I wouldn’t notice (even though I think/fantasise about it practically constantly lol)
At the start sex was constant after we lost our virginity to each other, maybe 4 or 5 times a day whenever we’d see each other. I’m just not interested anymore. I still think about sex constantly and fantasise, but it just never really involves him (I hate myself ik).
I just didn’t know if maybe I’m asexual, maybe my hormones are wacky, maybe we’re just not compatible (I love him but I do hold resentment for him for a lot of reasons), or maybe it’s because we’ve only been with each other and humans just naturally try to think about the grass being greener.
If anyone did have advice or perspective I’d really appreciate it. It’s been 5 years and I really don’t want to break mine and anyone else’s heart and lose my like best and in some ways only friend. But I also can’t survive like this and keep hoping that it’ll randomly make sense one day.
You are very young and have plenty of time to get over the heartbreak and move on. First relationships are hard but a relationship isn't suppose to be like this.
Your friend is being completely ridiculous. And I’m afraid it’s nothing to do with her if her husband has a wank - or indeed what he watches while doing so. She can’t dictate what he does with his own body.
Thank you for the advice everyone that replied to me, I really appreciate it. 
I will definitely start making some better choices for my future
I will definitely start making some better choices for my future
I was in a really similar situation, the relationship was around the same length and we are the same age. We lost our v to each other too. I resented him for a lot of things which made me want to not have any sort of sexual intimacy with him. We broke up last summer and I realised we definitely just were not compatible which was one of the main reasons why. It is important to do what is best for you xI have a kinda related but unrelated answer sorry
Been with my partner five years (I’m 21) sex has just like left (purely my choice), but he still asks for it multiple times a day. - These days it’s like once a month, but honestly I could never do it again and I wouldn’t notice (even though I think/fantasise about it practically constantly lol)
could’ve written this myself!!! 21 year old here too, started dating at 18, i feel youI have a kinda related but unrelated answer sorry
Been with my partner five years (I’m 21) sex has just like left (purely my choice), but he still asks for it multiple times a day. - These days it’s like once a month, but honestly I could never do it again and I wouldn’t notice (even though I think/fantasise about it practically constantly lol)
At the start sex was constant after we lost our virginity to each other, maybe 4 or 5 times a day whenever we’d see each other. I’m just not interested anymore. I still think about sex constantly and fantasise, but it just never really involves him (I hate myself ik).
I just didn’t know if maybe I’m asexual, maybe my hormones are wacky, maybe we’re just not compatible (I love him but I do hold resentment for him for a lot of reasons), or maybe it’s because we’ve only been with each other and humans just naturally try to think about the grass being greener.
If anyone did have advice or perspective I’d really appreciate it. It’s been 5 years and I really don’t want to break mine and anyone else’s heart and lose my like best and in some ways only friend. But I also can’t survive like this and keep hoping that it’ll randomly make sense one day.
