How much sex is "normal" in a relationship

[emm]

I'm intrigued with the period post. Is that common? I'm not sure I could do it.
Iv only commented on this post as we are moving house and when starting to pack at the weekend my husband seen I had a couple of sex toys. I have never hid them, they are just in my drawer, we've never used them together though or spoken about the.
At first he was shocked and asked if i wasn't satisfied with him, I definitely am but I'm quite sure he will "relieve himself" daily and don't see a problem with it.
We have a really good sex life and we have sex about 4 times a week.
Does anyone else have toys that they don't speak to their other halves about?

Such an interesting thread!
I have been with a couple of guys who like it, I don't really but have done it sometimes (in a long distance relationship when we only had a weekend together, for example) it feels really different somehow . Maybe overshare but I had an ex who liked going down on me when I had my period, the idea makes me feel

 

[Codiaeum]

I've had sex while on my period quite often with my boyfriend in the past. For some reason I was actually horny then these days I'm generally less often, which bothers me quite a lot.
My periods are 90% very light due to a hormonal IUD and I always told him before we got going. He said it doesn't bother him but I'm not comfortable with certain things while on my period and it would probably kill the mood if I stop him halfway....

I suspect that the IUD partially is the reason for my lower sex drive, but since it returns to a better level during a nice long vacation stress is a bigger factor than I thought. I'm changing jobs in a couple of weeks and I really hope that the new one will have a lower general stress level and maybe a higher general sex drive again in return.

 

[Niki14]

Such an interesting thread!
I have been with a couple of guys who like it, I don't really but have done it sometimes (in a long distance relationship when we only had a weekend together, for example) it feels really different somehow . Maybe overshare but I had an ex who liked going down on me when I had my period, the idea makes me feel

Oh wow!!!

 

[emm]

Oh wow!!!

so I have no idea how I know this, but there is a term for it, a "rainbow kiss", so apparently it is pretty common, I still feel
Not sure if this has been mentioned, I am catching up, but would people end a otherwise perfect relationship if the only issue was lack of sex?/bad sex? but when everything else was perfect? (a hypothetical for me, I just wonder what I would do - I have done the opposite in past relationships and stayed in bad ones because the sex was good )

 

[Niki14]

I don't think so, but I can't really say. I think I'd need the intimacy and to enjoy it.
A rainbow kiss. Jesus. Sounds awful but whatever floats his boat. We all have different things we like I suppose.
My friend who's male once said to me he loves it when his wife licks and fingers his hole. I just couldn't do it!!
I'm in no way a prude and am quite a sexual person but I couldn't go near.
So sorry if this is tmi ha

 

[BettyCrockerr]

I don't think so, but I can't really say. I think I'd need the intimacy and to enjoy it.
A rainbow kiss. Jesus. Sounds awful but whatever floats his boat. We all have different things we like I suppose.
My friend who's male once said to me he loves it when his wife licks and fingers his hole. I just couldn't do it!!
I'm in no way a prude and am quite a sexual person but I couldn't go near.
So sorry if this is tmi ha

I think that’s pretty common for men to enjoy a bit of bum action, it’s not especially sordid!!!!

period sex…… it’s just messy. I just don’t think it’s enjoyable.

 

[Niki14]

I think that’s pretty common for men to enjoy a bit of bum action, it’s not especially sordid!!!!

period sex…… it’s just messy. I just don’t think it’s enjoyable.

Oh no I'm not saying its bad at all. Just stating how we all like different things. Some will love it like the rainbow kiss and some won't. I find it really interesting

 

[emm]

I think that’s pretty common for men to enjoy a bit of bum action, it’s not especially sordid!!!!

period sex…… it’s just messy. I just don’t think it’s enjoyable.

SO messy! you have to just throw away the sheets tbh
The bum thing I thing lots of men are nervous about as they think it seems "gay" but I think most do like it

 

[Usagisakura90]

Me and my partner have it when we can, we don't live together and we see each other when we have days off or when I'm alone. So it's probably about a few times a month.

I have a higher sex drive than him and we have had a couple of issues with some things as he isn't as experienced as me like he doesn't want to go down on me and can only ever make himself finish which is annoying but it is what it is.

 

[Laur91]

Oh no I'm not saying its bad at all. Just stating how we all like different things. Some will love it like the rainbow kiss and some won't. I find it really interesting

calling it ‘rainbow’ kiss is giving me the ick. Just call it period head or period oral? it’s not a rainbow is it when it’s only one colour!

 

[emm]

Me and my partner have it when we can, we don't live together and we see each other when we have days off or when I'm alone. So it's probably about a few times a month.

I have a higher sex drive than him and we have had a couple of issues with some things as he isn't as experienced as me like he doesn't want to go down on me and can only ever make himself finish which is annoying but it is what it is.

I don't know what other people think, but if he doesn't go down on you, I woul never do the same for him.
him making himself finish.... I am not sure how old you are, but I know a lot of men like this from a younger generation due to watching porn are like this...maybe it is that? If so it is something you can change, I have managed to.... Have you tried asking exactly what he wants? But anyway what do other people think?

calling it ‘rainbow’ kiss is giving me the ick. Just call it period head or period oral? it’s not a rainbow is it when it’s only one colour!

gives me the ick either way!!! (also true, no idea why rainbow makes sense!)

 

[Niki14]

I don't know what other people think, but if he doesn't go down on you, I woul never do the same for him.
him making himself finish.... I am not sure how old you are, but I know a lot of men like this from a younger generation due to watching porn are like this...maybe it is that? If so it is something you can change, I have managed to.... Have you tried asking exactly what he wants? But anyway what do other people think?


gives me the ick either way!!! (also true, no idea why rainbow makes sense!)

Haha I only said it because someone said that was its name..Iv no idea what I'd call it.

 

[Kim Mild]

Not sure if this has been mentioned, I am catching up, but would people end a otherwise perfect relationship if the only issue was lack of sex?/bad sex? but when everything else was perfect? (a hypothetical for me, I just wonder what I would do - I have done the opposite in past relationships and stayed in bad ones because the sex was good )

It would depend on the reason for the bad sex / lack of sex . Sometimes life gets in the way ,and there isn't time for sex . If sex was bad , could it be improved as the partners learn what each other likes?

Sex on my period doesn't appeal to me cos I get painful periods.

Edited - my ex was crap in bed and I was with him a while haha

 

[yeoooo]

so im into my third month without sex with my husband
i dont initiate and never had but literally when his head hits the pillow he is out of it
he and i would joke about inneudos during the day
we never kiss and its at the point i dont want to

im seriously reevaluating everything based on it

 

[BettyCrockerr]

so im into my third month without sex with my husband
i dont initiate and never had but literally when his head hits the pillow he is out of it
he and i would joke about inneudos during the day
we never kiss and its at the point i dont want to

im seriously reevaluating everything based on it

Why don’t you ever initiate it? Have you let him know you are missing it? Has something happened 3 months ago to cause it to stop?

 

[yeoooo]

Why don’t you ever initiate it? Have you let him know you are missing it? Has something happened 3 months ago to cause it to stop?

thanks for your response ive never (and i had partners before) done it - always feel so vunerable and scared of rejection (probably something i should hve addressed)
tbh i havent verbalised it. i was ill for a period then covid etc but we would have been once a month for a few years but previously a lot
if i was an outsider looking in i would say open your mouth ffs but he is the type of all talk and no action
tbh i dont think im in love with him anymore and its just groundhog day but im afraid - i find the lack of sex not just a physical rejection but an emotional and overall rejection as a person. sorry for going on - i just dont know. also i found put this week that im permi-menopausal even though relatively young so its probably a lot of emotions atm

thank you for your reply xxx

 

[Shinythings]

Sorry to be blunt about it but you do need to put your big girl pants on and talk about it. I completely understand the feelings it creates in you, but by not talking about it, you're dooming the relationship to not work. If your house was on fire, would you just not mention it and watch it burn to the ground? Do you think your feelings towards him are caused by the lack of sex or they came first?

 

[Lara98]

Dunno if this is the right thread but here we go:

Need some help on how to get into the mood, my partner has an extremely higher sex drive than I and I struggle to keep up. He could do it everyday where as I can go weeks without it. I just struggle to mentally get into it and I don't know what to do to tryvhelp. I had an op 2 weeks ago so I've been recovering but now I'm feeling better and over the worst part, I want to start exploring and getting in the mood again.

He also says I rarely initiate it however I think my ways are less direct than his, any tips on this and how to make it more obvious I want it!

I dunno I just find it hard to show I want it when I do and also increase my drive!!

 

[BettyCrockerr]

Dunno if this is the right thread but here we go:

Need some help on how to get into the mood, my partner has an extremely higher sex drive than I and I struggle to keep up. He could do it everyday where as I can go weeks without it. I just struggle to mentally get into it and I don't know what to do to tryvhelp. I had an op 2 weeks ago so I've been recovering but now I'm feeling better and over the worst part, I want to start exploring and getting in the mood again.

He also says I rarely initiate it however I think my ways are less direct than his, any tips on this and how to make it more obvious I want it!

I dunno I just find it hard to show I want it when I do and also increase my drive!!

Have you tried experimenting with toys together or solo? Watching porn or reading porn? Sending eachother dirty messages or emails during the day?

 

[Crazymummy]

Dunno if this is the right thread but here we go:

Need some help on how to get into the mood, my partner has an extremely higher sex drive than I and I struggle to keep up. He could do it everyday where as I can go weeks without it. I just struggle to mentally get into it and I don't know what to do to tryvhelp. I had an op 2 weeks ago so I've been recovering but now I'm feeling better and over the worst part, I want to start exploring and getting in the mood again.

He also says I rarely initiate it however I think my ways are less direct than his, any tips on this and how to make it more obvious I want it!

I dunno I just find it hard to show I want it when I do and also increase my drive!!

My partner says he knows I’m in the mood from the way I can kiss him when I get home.

We also send dirty messages during the day of what we want that evening… it’s not for everyone but it does hit a spot if I get a text saying that as soon as I’m home he wants xyz!