HomewithShan #6 Still ignores her kids & asks ‘why does George scream at me?’, would take a poke in eye for free

[shoppingismycardio]

What has she got against putting him to bed early? When my little one dropped her nap she would go to bed as early as 6pm most nights for a while, even 5.30pm if she’d been awake early.
Why is she trying to make him stretch to a “normal” bedtime if he’s not had a nap. He’s clearly exhausted.
I have absolutely zero time for people like her who moan and moan about their kids sleep (or lack of) and never actually do anything usual to address it

 

[Dramallama2]

Pretty sure she stopped George's naps months ago so it's not even relevant

Exactly, he’s nearly 4 surely he should be well past the naps by now anyway?! He probably would be if she had an actual routine for him, kids need routine and he’s got none whatsoever.

Halle is constantly left to cry it out, so many videos of hers I’ve seen where she’s just dumped her in bed and left to sort herself out and is crying in the background while Shans rambling on about absolute shite I feel like shouting to see to your bloody child! She’s absolutely awful. It’s like she just totally blocks out the sound of her crying. She’s such a tit show of a mother.

I am horrified that he’s been to nursery all day and then slept in the same clothes he’s been wearing all day that’s absolutely beyond filthy! not only can’t she be arsed to get him into bed but the fact she also can’t be arsed to get him into some clean pjs is below the belt.

 

[rainbowunicorn9]

I watched her latest vlog, she was trying to get him dressed for the day and he was wearing clothes from the day before. She's letting him fall asleep and putting him to bed in his clothes instead of getting him ready properly and putting pjs on. He's probably been at nursery, playing outside and picking up germs, then sleeping in his dirty clothes

that’s close enough to neglect letting him slee an entire night in dirty clothes.

he clearly has sleep issues because he has no routine or structure with bedtime (or in general). Surprises me with how strict she was with him as a newborn

 

[Dramallama2]

I would 1000% class it as neglect.

 

[Puffin_island]

It can't have been "carnage" if George managed to fall asleep on the sofa. She's obviously just out an overstimulating tv programme on to occupy him theb he falls asleep. If it was carnage, she could have added getting changed and ready for bed into that then if he starts getting tired then literally just go to bed with him. Job done!

I know every child is different but my LG is 6 months younger than George. Around September last year, we noticed if she was napping, bedtimes were such a battle and getting later and later so we began cutting out her nap. It was tough as she'd start flagging around 4/5pm but I'd seen a video by Sarah Ockwell-Smith (love her) that said to basically make that time super energetic as possible and they'll battle through it and to then do your bedtime routine. We did that and now we have no naps and start out bedtime routine around 6.15. I shared her video to others who have practiced it and they've found it so helpful too so I know it's not just a one off but if advice. Occasionally we see her flagging around 5pm but we have a wild half hour then start bedtime routine a bit earlier. Since then, it's all been so much easier. If she goes to bed that bit earlier than usual, we know she'll be up earlier but we can mentally prepare ourselves for that and get an early night ourselves and whichever parents turn it is knows we'll be up earlier with her.

I'm about to go watch her vlog but I'm already raging inside knowing she's basically leaving Halle cry.

 

[ohsosweet]

I watched some of her latest vlog and it is just such tragic viewing. Again she just repeats herself over and over, almost as though she wasn't happy with the recording so recorded the same conversation again but then forgot and left both versions in. She's useless. Also... she puts Halle down for a nap and then is filming her and George in another room and Halle is just crying her eyes out in the background. Like, sure, sometimes one of my babies is crying while I am dealing with the other one and there's not much I can do about it - I don't like it but there you go- but I am not FILMING it and putting it out there.

I noticed this too! That wasn’t just baby noises and the odd whinge, it was a proper cry it out for ages . There’s no reason for it either. It was 8:30 in the morning, if she doesn’t fancy the nap, don’t make her nap just because an algorithm on an app tells you to.

Off topic but it grinds my gears that G is referred to as a toddler. He isn’t a toddler, he’s a pre schooler.

Anyone else notice on the vlog about the constant screen time. The kids were up at 4:50 and although she didn’t say it, I guarantee the tv went on there (no screen time judgement for that to be fair). He then was just scrolling on her phone before they went upstairs and then once upstairs, she popped the tv on for him. The number of screens the boy is exposed to is insane.

Also, the mention of the banana being good for sleep. Tell us you read here without telling us!

 

[myst3ry]

Exactly, he’s nearly 4 surely he should be well past the naps by now anyway?! He probably would be if she had an actual routine for him, kids need routine and he’s got none whatsoever.

Halle is constantly left to cry it out, so many videos of hers I’ve seen where she’s just dumped her in bed and left to sort herself out and is crying in the background while Shans rambling on about absolute shite I feel like shouting to see to your bloody child! She’s absolutely awful. It’s like she just totally blocks out the sound of her crying. She’s such a tit show of a mother.

I am horrified that he’s been to nursery all day and then slept in the same clothes he’s been wearing all day that’s absolutely beyond filthy! not only can’t she be arsed to get him into bed but the fact she also can’t be arsed to get him into some clean pjs is below the belt.

No way… that is absolutely horrendous!

 

[Emsie]

It can't have been "carnage" if George managed to fall asleep on the sofa. She's obviously just out an overstimulating tv programme on to occupy him theb he falls asleep. If it was carnage, she could have added getting changed and ready for bed into that then if he starts getting tired then literally just go to bed with him. Job done!

I know every child is different but my LG is 6 months younger than George. Around September last year, we noticed if she was napping, bedtimes were such a battle and getting later and later so we began cutting out her nap. It was tough as she'd start flagging around 4/5pm but I'd seen a video by Sarah Ockwell-Smith (love her) that said to basically make that time super energetic as possible and they'll battle through it and to then do your bedtime routine. We did that and now we have no naps and start out bedtime routine around 6.15. I shared her video to others who have practiced it and they've found it so helpful too so I know it's not just a one off but if advice. Occasionally we see her flagging around 5pm but we have a wild half hour then start bedtime routine a bit earlier. Since then, it's all been so much easier. If she goes to bed that bit earlier than usual, we know she'll be up earlier but we can mentally prepare ourselves for that and get an early night ourselves and whichever parents turn it is knows we'll be up earlier with her.

I'm about to go watch her vlog but I'm already raging inside knowing she's basically leaving Halle cry.

Sarah fan over here too! Think it's mainly why I struggle with Shan. I am a firm believer that parents should parent with autonomy but honestly I couldn't think of anything worse than sleeping the whole night in my clothes!
Exactly right what you say when they are getting cranky you have to stimulate them. We would go for a walk or play in the garden. I've even bathed them for an hour just to kill some time and keep them awake.
Nap drop transitions are the worst but you have to control it, not leave it to the tired toddler to work through.

 

[Nosymum]

My little one quit naps at 1 completely stopped nothing worked and she never slept in the car past this age either, but would have a good bedtime, I understand that’s very early to not nap but how is a 4 year old still napping no wonder she’s got issues at bedtime.plus keeping him in nursery clothes is rank I change and normally bath my daughter when she gets home (she loves a bath and normally asks for one I don’t treat her like she’s covered in germs )

 

[Dramallama2]

There’s just so much to say on her recent video. She’s got absolutely no patience with George whatsoever, constantly snapping at him and hiding in a different room, and why was she sitting in the kitchen eating lunch while George is dumped in front of the tv as usual, go and sit with him?! He spent the majority of the vlog by himself. The screen time that boy has is so damaging, no wonder he’s high as a kite and his sleep is so messed up. She could even make buttering a slice of bread look chaotic.

 

[whatshernameagain_93]

He's still napping at 4 because he's getting to bed late/waking up several times/getting up ridiculously early. The naps will be contributing to this and making it worse, then he will need the nap even more to contribute the lack of night sleep. It's a hard cycle to get out of but I don't understand how he went from being such a good sleeper to so bad. But waking in the middle of the night and asking to watch the TV is not good at all and would make most people question their screen time. Might even be why he has leg pains, it could be restless legs from just laying around watching the TV!

 

[cosmicstar]

If any of my LGs wakes up middle of the night and asks to watch TV, its my duty as a parent to say no and try to figure out a way to get them to calm down and get some sleep.

Why is she just letting him watch TV at such a an unholy hour?!

 

[Emsie]

One of mine went through a 4am wake up phase and we stuck YouTube on for him because 4am is too early to be doing anything. Then he started waking up for YouTube specifically asking for it so we had to ride it out and get up with him, run him ragged all day and early to bed. A 3 week cycle was broken in about 3 days! They get over stimulated by it and it becomes all consuming. My kids never ask for cbeebies because (I think) it's more gentle on their minds but YouTube they would do anything for.
My role as a parent is to let them enjoy what they enjoy but to keep it safe for them. We do hand over the tablets for an hour on Saturday morning and evening but the rest of the time were playing with them, out in the garden, walking the dog or just involving them in day to day life. Halles food needs clearing up (sorry I keep going on about that ) then give G the dustpan he would love it. All my kids love mundane tasks like that. I'm always taking them out to sweep leaves or rake grass they can't get enough of it the lil weirdos

 

[sageandoak]

If you know he’s going to be tired why not bath him when he gets in from nursery and get him in his pyjamas and then give him tea, play for a little bit and get him to bed early.
The inconsistency in his sleep pattern is why he’s waking so much. And he is also old enough to understand if you wake in the night just roll over and go back to sleep. If he’s messing around for ages at night they need to have 15 minutes cuddling him and if he’s still awake they need to leave him and go back after 10 minutes. My son is 4 and loves to do anything to keep himself awake if we are in bed with him, if we leave him 10 minutes he’s fast asleep.
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One of mine went through a 4am wake up phase and we stuck YouTube on for him because 4am is too early to be doing anything. Then he started waking up for YouTube specifically asking for it so we had to ride it out and get up with him, run him ragged all day and early to bed. A 3 week cycle was broken in about 3 days! They get over stimulated by it and it becomes all consuming. My kids never ask for cbeebies because (I think) it's more gentle on their minds but YouTube they would do anything for.
My role as a parent is to let them enjoy what they enjoy but to keep it safe for them. We do hand over the tablets for an hour on Saturday morning and evening but the rest of the time were playing with them, out in the garden, walking the dog or just involving them in day to day life. Halles food needs clearing up (sorry I keep going on about that ) then give G the dustpan he would love it. All my kids love mundane tasks like that. I'm always taking them out to sweep leaves or rake grass they can't get enough of it the lil weirdos

Kids love to feel like they are helping. My little boy LOVES using the duster and hoover.

 

[Puffin_island]

The problem she has is that she doesn't want to spend maybe a week of hard work to tackle the issue to resolve an ongoing problem for months because it's too much work for her. She says she tries gentle parenting but when it's comes to bedtime routine or a daily routine, she's pretty permissive and then people who don't fully understand gentle parenting confuse the two.

Her latest vlog was a load of drivel. Firstly, the battery thing she has at the starts annoys me as when the battery is showing as "full" the percentage number is zero.

The other thing that struck me (besides the already mentioned of leaving Halle to cry when she "should be" napping) is when she's trying to get George to go to playgroup, she repeatedly says to him "you don't have to go" because she probably can't be bothered to take them both, but much to her annoyance he still says yes.

 

[graceanatomy]

Mind boggling that he doesn't have a proper bedtime routine. I'd say she doesn't know what to do once a kid becomes mobile and she can't just leave them to cry it out in their crib. Once George got big enough to physically leave his bed and room himself then he became a terrible sleeper apparently, she probably just shut the door and left him before that. Tire him out with some physical activities, do the whole dinner, bath, story, bed routine every night and I'm sure things would change.
I've literally never put the TV on - or even turned a light on - for my daughter during the night because I don't want her to start waking up in the night expecting to play or watch TV- that's nuts to me.

 

[cosmicstar]

Kids love to feel like they are helping. My little boy LOVES using the duster and hoover.

100%. We follow a light Montessori approach, which I don't expect everyone to support, so my eldest does help out a lot but it's mostly me getting the kids involved in the task rather than using them as free labour Kids in general love helping parents with whatever it is.
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The problem she has is that she doesn't want to spend maybe a week of hard work to tackle the issue to resolve an ongoing problem for months because it's too much work for her. She says she tries gentle parenting but when it's comes to bedtime routine or a daily routine, she's pretty permissive and then people who don't fully understand gentle parenting confuse the two.

Her latest vlog was a load of drivel. Firstly, the battery thing she has at the starts annoys me as when the battery is showing as "full" the percentage number is zero.

Gentle parenting is another of those terms she throws around without really knowing what it means. It's like you say, allowing your kids to do everything they want is not gentle parenting. You still have to "parent"!

What was the battery thing?
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Mind boggling that he doesn't have a proper bedtime routine. I'd say she doesn't know what to do once a kid becomes mobile and she can't just leave them to cry it out in their crib. Once George got big enough to physically leave his bed and room himself then he became a terrible sleeper apparently, she probably just shut the door and left him before that.

Is it just me who thinks that her lack of routine also means that he doesn't brush his teeth before bed or regularly (doesn't have to be every night) has a bath and that is why he ended up sleeping in his nursery clothes?

 

[myst3ry]

Does anyone else think Halle looks so uncomfortable in the baby carrier? Her legs are almost backwards! Shan, if you read this please make sure you’re scooping Halle in the carrier so her knees are ABOVE her hips in that M shape.
Dissapointing she tags the brand but they’ve not corrected her. It’s not Halle being hyper mobile it’s just you know using the carrier properly. Try rotating her bum so she’s sitting back into it if that makes sense. Like a scoop!

 

[Puffin_island]

What was the battery thing?

Please tell me I'm not the only one who finds it annoying that the battery being full says 19% left when maybe it should say 81%?

 

[cosmicstar]

Please tell me I'm not the only one who finds it annoying that the battery being full says 19% left when maybe it should say 81%?

Thank you - hard to tell without context. Maybe when it's nearly full it means 19% left to charge? Or does she mean how much battery SHE has left?


The main thing I noticed from those images is how low her views are on youtube